lost_girl1 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 The full story can be found here... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/547009-lost-my-soul-mate-help I have tried so hard to go no contact with this girl... the difficulties come with her nephew, and the fact she still has my stuff!! we both look after the little fella so have no choice but to communicate at times! one day, she's fine with me... the next she hates me! I don't understand... last week she drove past me... stopped and offered me a lift to work, which i refused, she seemed quite upset by it... then comes the next day, I get a phone call from the estate agents for her. I text her to let her know, then all of a sudden she goes mad. back to the next day, and she wants to talk to me again... i ignore a majority of her empty texts, unless they are about her nephew or my stuff.. i get unknown phone calls, every time she knows i am out... but she's seeing someone else! I do not understand at all! I am trying my hardest to move on... of course i miss her and what we had, but I do not miss this person she's turned in to. she reckons me and her was a timing issue... she loves me, but she's changed... one minute we were going to get a house together... talking about marriage.. next were over! nearly two months on and my head I'm confused! sorry guys my head is messed up!
pidgeon1010 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Why do you have to look after her nephew? Sounds more of a choice than an obligation that you can't end. The thing about relationships is that the couple's lives become intertwined and in the process third parties (family and friends) are introduced into the relationship. When it ends, it can be hard to cut ties with these innocent third parties but sometimes it is the only way to move on. If you truly want to heal and move on, you have to cut off all ties with everyone. It may be difficult but sometimes, you have to look out for numero uno- you.
Author lost_girl1 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 You're Right it is a choice, I have known him since he was born, I love him like my own... right now I could happily never see or speak to her again, her nephew however, who calls me aunty I can't do that! not to a little boy
pidgeon1010 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Believe it or not, the little boy will live and still flourish without you. This has more to do with YOU than him. You know there is no way you can help care for your your ex's nephew without ever talking to your ex. You admit that in your OP: "We both look after the little fella so have no choice but to communicate at times." I don't think you're ready to let go like you claim so expect for your head to be messed up for a long time. Who knows, you may enjoy the drama and sounds like you are still holding out hope that things will change and she will come back to you. How long are you willing to wait? Until her nephew goes to college?
Author lost_girl1 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I'm not hoping in anyway shape or form... its hard to explain he's only 2 and he looks forward to seeing me, he's not old enough to understand! i wont do that to him no way. i know me and her are done i really do accept that, im dating, enjoying life without her. however a big part of my happiness is her nephew
pidgeon1010 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Oh ok. Your OP didn't sound like someone who is dating and enjoying life without her. It sounded like you were stuck in the past, your dreams together, why she changed and things didn't work out. You shouldn't be concerned about her actions then. Just brush it aside it and carry on. Sometimes you can never understand why people act the way they do. T'is life. You will drive yourself crazy trying to find answers. Best wishes!
Author lost_girl1 Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I just hate getting mixed signals from someone I used to love so much! sounds dumb i do care for her, anyone who says that goes is lying it will always be there. I don't want her back at least not at the moment, i mean by all means if our paths cross in the future, then yeah great, if not right now it doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as she's happy. She got me out of a pretty dark place when we met, and I can't help but feel like she's in one now... and i guess you'll call me stupid, but i feel like her constant change in attitude towards me, and her whole family is a cry for help. unfortunately until she asks someone for help, she wont get it, its just sad to watch someone self destruct i guess, especially when their the reason you are still alive today. lol like i said messed up
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