Celeste.Carol Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I broke it off after learning I was being played and lied to. I never became clingy, overzealous and I gave this person room. However, I told them I value myself, I have different expectations and that I know how I wish to be treated. We had strange text conversation well after midnight that was not personally insulting but we were batting. The relationship is over. He has texted me today nonstop and saying things like you know you cannot ignore me etc. I cannot reply. I have no will to reply, I am exhausted. I really liked him but feel strongly he did me wrong many times and I want to move on, but am feeling anxious. I am tired from practicing for a mud run...have been exerting my energy elsewhere. He has not said anything of apologies or what could be better done to make it work. Is this just playing and mind games?
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Until you block/delete, it will certainly feel like it. Why are you not blocking him? Surely, the effort to ignore won't then be so exhausting... Or are you waiting for something in particular to happen? 1
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Until you block/delete, it will certainly feel like it. Why are you not blocking him? Surely, the effort to ignore won't then be so exhausting... Or are you waiting for something in particular to happen? Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. I am attracted to this man, yes. If the communication was more of apologizing or what he could do better, than I would be open to talking. I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. He lied to me and I have a difficult time with this. I am open and honest with those I care about.
Smitten and Bitten Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. I am attracted to this man, yes. If the communication was more of apologizing or what he could do better, than I would be open to talking. I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. It's not any guy's way who is worth your time. He lied to me and I have a difficult time with this. I am open and honest with those I care about. Then he doesn't deserve you. He's lied to you and played you and he'll do it again. In fact he's doing it now. Are you sure you can't block his number? 1
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. I am attracted to this man, yes. If the communication was more of apologizing or what he could do better, than I would be open to talking. I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. He lied to me and I have a difficult time with this. I am open and honest with those I care about. I understand you can't block, but what about my suggestion in a different post that you just delete the texts when they come in? By continuing to read his texts and engage him, you are not helping yourself at all Celeste, you are continuing the INSANITY. I told you it was not over and it won't be until you WANT it to be over. And when you want it to be over, you WILL simply delete his texts before reading. Obviously you are not ready to do that yet....so I am sorry but I have little sympathy here.... YOU are in control here....you want it over, you arrange to have block put on your phone OR you just delete his texts before reading....so you won't be tempted to respond back. Good luck hun. 3
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. There's an app for that... Unless your phone is out of the ark, you can download one. I have an excellent app that blocks both. Its symbol is a red shield, with a ewhite 'phone receiver in a white circle, crossed through. It works wonders, and it's free.... I am attracted to this man, yes. If the communication was more of apologizing or what he could do better, than I would be open to talking. But it's not, and it won't be. He's obviously trying every trick in the book, and he may well resort to an apology, but I doubt it will be sincere. He will just be trying a new tactic to get you to respond. It won't change the past, and it won't change him.... I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. Nah. He just wants to win the game... He lied to me and I have a difficult time with this. I am open and honest with those I care about. Yeah. Liars seldom suddenly become the most honest of people overnight, in order to please someone, do they? 1
Redhead14 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) I broke it off after learning I was being played and lied to. I never became clingy, overzealous and I gave this person room. However, I told them I value myself, I have different expectations and that I know how I wish to be treated. We had strange text conversation well after midnight that was not personally insulting but we were batting. The relationship is over. He has texted me today nonstop and saying things like you know you cannot ignore me etc. I cannot reply. I have no will to reply, I am exhausted. I really liked him but feel strongly he did me wrong many times and I want to move on, but am feeling anxious. I am tired from practicing for a mud run...have been exerting my energy elsewhere. He has not said anything of apologies or what could be better done to make it work. Is this just playing and mind games? If you are serious about it being over, it doesn't matter what he's doing now. Don't respond, don't look at any texts Period. He can't play games with your mind if you don't participate. You are anxious because you really want him to say all the right things and he isn't. Every time you look at what he says you are disappointed. I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. -- It doesn't matter if it's his way. It's not the way YOU want it or what YOU need to hear. Edited September 21, 2015 by Redhead14
Gaeta Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He has not said anything of apologies or what could be better done to make it work. Is this just playing and mind games? You see his true face. He's emotionally immature. Unable to complex personal thought process. Unable to self-analyze. Unable to humble himself. These people are shallow. Young souls centered on themselves. A relationship with him would only be more of this and worse. You don't like him. You like what he could be. Not the same. Get that app and block him. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 You can't have an emotionally charged relationship conversation via text. I personally couldn't be bothered with a man who tried. All phones block. Go to the store where you got the phone & ask the tech to show you how or watch an OL video for your model phone about how to do it. 1
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 This has been the most bizarre relationship or whatever you would call it I have ever experienced. He is very sexual and usually in any beginning of any friendship, pre date if I got this feeling, I dropped out POOF immediately, and I mean immediately, the "Ugh...Ewww Creep feeling." Something was different here, the attraction outweighed and trumped all. So yes, I admit I wanted to read his texts...my stance was for awhile absolutely NOT, not going to reply, but later I relented. I know this is stupid, but I did. He kept texting, "You know you cannot ignore me,' and "Answer me now." Many texts. It is complex and completely out there, but exciting in a way too. I do not however want it to become an addiction and make normal loving rel. boring. When we were speaking, I spoke about my reservations and he was speaking of his and etc. One text that stood out was: "There is just something Animal in my attraction toward you and Love would interfere with that right now....did not mean it to be so, but it is." The thing is I feel it too. I am not going to stop dating others, the nice guys. I believe that would be dumb. I feel the need to experience this as well...however I am not sure how much I can endure with it...so I may run from it quick, if it starts to feel too uncomfortable. I cannot believe this has become my first dating experience after waiting a few years after a very painful divorce! It was not what I had in my wishes.
GemmaUK Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. There's an app for that... Unless your phone is out of the ark, you can download one. I have an excellent app that blocks both. Its symbol is a red shield, with a ewhite 'phone receiver in a white circle, crossed through. It works wonders, and it's free.... I paid £3 for mine and it's a blue shield and called Extreme Call Blocker - works a treat and will even text pre-written responses or block/hang up a call. It's fantastic!
Zippy2000 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 A person who keeps on texting?calling or trying to get back in touch with you shows you are now "IN CHARGE". It is now your decision to communicate that to him you do NOT want him back. Tell him its over and you dont want to get back together ever again.
Gaeta Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 If you are just back on the dating scene you will lose a lot of time with these players. It's even normal you will. This attraction you're talking about is hard to control when we first experience it. Your mistake is to think 'it's special'. No it's not. It's just hormones and crazy chemical buzz in the head. It's the same as an addiction, and like in any other addiction when it's destructive you have to kick it. In time you will get better at it. 2
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 If you are just back on the dating scene you will lose a lot of time with these players. It's even normal you will. This attraction you're talking about is hard to control when we first experience it. Your mistake is to think 'it's special'. No it's not. It's just hormones and crazy chemical buzz in the head. It's the same as an addiction, and like in any other addiction when it's destructive you have to kick it. In time you will get better at it. I believe I can handle it (I hope, wishes) and kick it when the time runs out. It is so good right now. he has been super attentive and so sweet, sexy since our talk. Errrrrr!
Gaeta Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I believe I can handle it (I hope, wishes) and kick it when the time runs out. It is so good right now. he has been super attentive and so sweet, sexy since our talk. Errrrrr! I give it one week and you'll be back in full frustration mode ;-) 1
Smitten and Bitten Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 If you are just back on the dating scene you will lose a lot of time with these players. It's even normal you will. This attraction you're talking about is hard to control when we first experience it. Your mistake is to think 'it's special'. No it's not. It's just hormones and crazy chemical buzz in the head. It's the same as an addiction, and like in any other addiction when it's destructive you have to kick it. In time you will get better at it. If only someone had told me this 25 years ago (sigh). 1
katiegrl Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I give it one week and you'll be back in full frustration mode ;-) Hate to say it but..... yep. We're here for ya though Celeste .... when this thing blows up again. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I give it one week and you'll be back in full frustration mode ;-) That long, huh? Honestly... I'm sorry, maybe I shouldn't ask this but - why do people thrive on so much toxic drama, like this? I mean, people post, asking for help, advice, counsel, ways to get over, get through, get by, get on... And then something like this mess arrives, develops and frankly, I'm sorry, but it's a damn joke. Waste of time, effort and good advice. I'm leaving the OP to her own devices. If she finds this kind of dysfunctional interaction sustaining, entertaining and fulfilling then she's very welcome to it. I'm out. Good luck everyone. 2
menyou Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 A person who keeps on texting?calling or trying to get back in touch with you shows you are now "IN CHARGE". It is now your decision to communicate that to him you do NOT want him back. Tell him its over and you dont want to get back together ever again. This is so true. You are completely in charge. Although I'd suggest NOT contacting at all whatsoever if you are done.
katiegrl Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Although I'd suggest NOT contacting at all whatsoever if you are done. Well OP is addicted to the drama....so I don't suspect that will be happening anytime soon. I agree with Tara!
empresario Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Hi my phone will not block calls or texts. I am attracted to this man, yes. If the communication was more of apologizing or what he could do better, than I would be open to talking. I do not know if this is his way or a guy's way of inadvertently saying so. He lied to me and I have a difficult time with this. I am open and honest with those I care about. This may not be true. Depending on your carrier, you may be able to call in and specifically request a number be blocked. Verizon, for example, doesn't allow you to block numbers. They will however block up to 5 numbers for you if you call into support. Just a suggestion.
empresario Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 This has been the most bizarre relationship or whatever you would call it I have ever experienced. He is very sexual and usually in any beginning of any friendship, pre date if I got this feeling, I dropped out POOF immediately, and I mean immediately, the "Ugh...Ewww Creep feeling." Something was different here, the attraction outweighed and trumped all. So yes, I admit I wanted to read his texts...my stance was for awhile absolutely NOT, not going to reply, but later I relented. I know this is stupid, but I did. He kept texting, "You know you cannot ignore me,' and "Answer me now." Many texts. It is complex and completely out there, but exciting in a way too. I do not however want it to become an addiction and make normal loving rel. boring. When we were speaking, I spoke about my reservations and he was speaking of his and etc. One text that stood out was: "There is just something Animal in my attraction toward you and Love would interfere with that right now....did not mean it to be so, but it is." The thing is I feel it too. I am not going to stop dating others, the nice guys. I believe that would be dumb. I feel the need to experience this as well...however I am not sure how much I can endure with it...so I may run from it quick, if it starts to feel too uncomfortable. I cannot believe this has become my first dating experience after waiting a few years after a very painful divorce! It was not what I had in my wishes. So to be clear, you are going to continue dating him despite breaking your trust, showing clear signs of control/manipulation, and wanting nothing from you long-term? That's your choice to pursue this...but in my opinion he totally has you right where he wants you. He bullied you into a relationship, and will use that same tactic to manipulate you over and over and over. If you need to make that mistake, I wish you the best. I do think you are setting yourself up for a lot of heart-break.
Author Celeste.Carol Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 Yes, I understand the eye rolls and shaking of heads. I know this is not the biggest light bulb moment in my lifetime. I do not know what is drawing me to this man. I feel screwed up.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Yes, I understand the eye rolls and shaking of heads. I know this is not the biggest light bulb moment in my lifetime. I do not know what is drawing me to this man. I feel screwed up. That's because YOU are screwing yourself up. He has nothing to do with it. This is all your doing. By agreeing to engage in this idiocy, you are the only one responsible for the way you feel. Of course, the remedy is simple....
Winterina Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 To me, it says something about his character that he keeps bugging you with messages now. An adult guy with self respect and character would not lower himself to that level. They would find a way to solve things in a more mature way. This is such a textbook case that he does everything to be sweet and nice now. If you forgive him now, you probably have to be ready to be forgiving him as long as you are with him. You are possibly dealing with man-child who got used to screwing up and getting forgiveness from his mummy or something like that. Nobody knows exactly what is going on but from your description this is the thing that pops to mind. Plus, I have a wast experience with guys like that. They never change.
Recommended Posts