Girl i've been hanging out with had sex with my friend after thinking i rejected her

[unoaime]

Hmm. Funnily enough, one of the guys started a group chat for the charity today on facebook planning a meetup to decide what to do with it. I thought bugger it and messaged her personally asking her if she's okay with continuing it. Formatting is bad.

 

I'm fine with it, I'm not doing weekly things but def do annual things. I'm cool with it as long as you are?

I'm comfortable with doing it, i've just got overwhelming guilt Ser.

 

Overwhelming guilt?

I dunno, sure we don't wanna get too deep and feel free not even to reply. But yeah, i never accepted my part in it all with all the blame games and bitterness, just want to take full responsibility and let you know how badly i feel for not processing stuff correctly and trying to keep my pride in what ultimately was my fault. Don't want you to feel you should have any regrets. That is all, and like i said, don't even reply if you wish.

With you saying what you did the other night, i just had to get that out there.

 

Thank you, but don't feel guilty, like I've said all the way through there is no hatred or dislike from me, I just want my friend back! And I meant what I said.

 

Nah, i'm gonna feel guilty regardless of what you say lol. It was all my poor decision making. I questioned my own beliefs about everything, crap got above me and i will always, always feel bad for how small i made you feel at times and don't feel like you ever did anything wrong.

 

Well I can't argue with how you feel, I'm just saying there is no hatred/dislike from my end. You was in a bad place, and I'm not letting that time effect me anymore but thanks for the apology

 

There's a good girl lol.

 

Patronising poo poo head lol

 

And there comes the insults again haha. Can't even go a minute.

 

Haha gerron with youuuuu

 

You did the hand movement in your mind didn't you?

 

Admittedly yes lol

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And so we're back to all these little injokes. Eugh.

[road]

All this unnecessary pain and anguish when the two of you could be in a really good thing.

 

All gone because you couldn't handle her screwing your friend once in a drunken stupor after you seemingly rejected her.

 

If you could only change your perspective..

 

"Yeah my buddy got drunken sex once" but I got her as my girlfriend and got a whole lot more".. Add huge list of things you get from her that he never would and you'd see that an hour or so of bad drunken sex is nothing to get hung up about.

 

What a shame.

 

 

 

 

True. Though does a man get past that one time to be happy?

[GemmaUK]

i took the beginning as a broken fairytale, but life isn't a fairytale, it's what you make of it and just because it was a messed up start, it didn't mean it had to lead the future. It wasn't about how we got together, it should've been about how we stayed together - but i failed.

Right, except in many ways it's best that you didn't stay together.

 

 

I wish there was some way i could take full responsibility for what happened but at the same time i don't want to rehash old wounds for her. I mean lets be honest, it was 90% my fault, what she did was a little trashy, sure but who knows, shoe on the other foot i may have done the exact same thing after feeling rejected. I want her in my life romantically so bad, show her the me i was in the first 6 months but similarly, for all the times she thought i was too good for her, now.. i almost feel as if she is the one too good for me.

 

You don't need her involvement for taking responsibility. There is no need to hash it all out with her.

I think you are halfway to getting it' (no disrespect intended) but this is why you absolutely should almost start over with your therapist.

Please do show this thread to him/her as I think there's more in here than you have opened up about.

 

It's good that you can be friends but don't go trying to get back with her (if she would even want that) before you have worked on yourself.

You need to learn to be a 'good man' rather than a nice guy who isn't really so nice at all - which goes for all and any relationships with all of the people in your life.

 

Good luck! Being halfway to getting it means I really think you have a chance to getting all the way to 'getting it'.

[unoaime]

I will do. One of the main issues for me though is still my health, i can't get to grips with it, all doctors have given up. My tongue is still disgusting all the time regardless of what i do and how healthy i eat. Sometimes i feel i can't continue living like this, i'm not suicidal or anything, i'm super motivated, but motivated to get healthy and it seems all i ever do is get up and fight to no avail. The failure of the relationship is equally as down to that. It's hard not to be negative when months of a burst of being positive always come through with no reward.

[road]

I will do. One of the main issues for me though is still my health, i can't get to grips with it, all doctors have given up. My tongue is still disgusting all the time regardless of what i do and how healthy i eat. Sometimes i feel i can't continue living like this, i'm not suicidal or anything, i'm super motivated, but motivated to get healthy and it seems all i ever do is get up and fight to no avail. The failure of the relationship is equally as down to that. It's hard not to be negative when months of a burst of being positive always come through with no reward.

 

 

 

 

Try other Drs.

[unoaime]

I've tried all of them in the local surgery. (like 10)

[warshaw]

True. Though does a man get past that one time to be happy?

 

I think I would if I was in that position.

[road]

I've tried all of them in the local surgery. (like 10)

 

Go to a big city. Google for specialists.

[GemmaUK]

Also, you do know that over use of anti-biotics causes thrush don't you?

 

Anti-bios are best avoided unless absolutely necessary.