cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 This seems to be a reoccurring theme for me. Meet a girl on a night out, she seems really cool, she offers me her number without me asking or even hinting, I text her the next day, she never replies. This is doing my head in. I don't understand the thinking behind this one bit. If she wasn't interested that's fine, not every girl will. In fact the vast majority of girls will be uninterested, that's just life. But why then did she offer me her number? It doesn't add up. I'm sick of this ****.
menyou Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 This seems to be a reoccurring theme for me. Meet a girl on a night out, she seems really cool, she offers me her number without me asking or even hinting, I text her the next day, she never replies. This is doing my head in. I don't understand the thinking behind this one bit. If she wasn't interested that's fine, not every girl will. In fact the vast majority of girls will be uninterested, that's just life. But why then did she offer me her number? It doesn't add up. I'm sick of this ****. What are you texting them? Is it offensive? Next time just call. 4
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 It's always something simple such as 'hi, it was really nice to meet you last night, would you be free for a drink on Thursday?'... I can't figure out where I'm going wrong with something like that.
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) How inebriated was she? Some people are free-er with info while drinking then regret it the next day. They also might not remember who you are. Do you include where you met & some description of yourself? Perhaps try that: Hey! remember me? we met last night at ABC Bar. I was the guy with the blue shirt. I enjoyed meeting you. How's your head this morning? I'm off to go get breakfast. Chat later? Although some would respond well to the immediate request for a drink others may be a bit leery. Edited September 21, 2015 by d0nnivain 3
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 She didn't come across as being too drunk to be honest. At the end of night at kicking out time I was chatting to her outside the bar and tried to get a kiss. She said she didn't even know me yet even though she thought I was very good looking. So i told her we'll have to meet up for a date which she seemed keen on doing. I told her my name but not where we met or what I looked like.
craw Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 First of all, you will never know how women think, just like how women will never how men think. You were brave enough to try to kiss her, but not to call and ask her out on a date? Probably thinks you're only interested in banging her. Just call her already, wait a day and do it. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I agree it's better to call the next day than text. If she gave out her number flagrantly and isn't interested, she won't answer either way, so it doesn't matter. But if she has any interest in you at all, a call will make a good impression, as it's much more assertive and personal than a text.
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 So you reckon give it a day or two and then call her? Even after sending her a text that went unresponded to? I suppose I've got nothing to lose.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 So you reckon give it a day or two and then call her? Even after sending her a text that went unresponded to? I suppose I've got nothing to lose.If you texted her and she did not answer, she gave you a fake number (not interested), or is flat-out not interested. Yes, calling is more assertive, but women are creatures of texting, and she would have texted back by now if she was into it. So no, you do not call her at this point. That's desperate.
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I know it's her number as she has whatsapp with her photo. Though her photo did disappear after a while so maybe she deleted my number? Ahh bollocks to this. Just another time waster it would appear. I really don't seem to be able to meet normal girls. Is there even such a thing as a normal girl? I'm not so sure anymore.
Diezel Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 First of all, you will never know how women think Not even "God" ever will. ...just like how women will never how men think. (1) Sex (2) Food (3) Beer (4) Sports Easy. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Is there even such a thing as a normal girl? I'm not so sure anymore.Just varying degrees of crazy, I'm afraid.
HereNorThere Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Women and dating are are like a fat guy at an all-you-can-eat buffet and you're the mashed potatoes. Sure, mashed potato's are great, but there's a limitless supply of stuff that they want to fit on the plate. The paradox of choice is simply too much for most them. Most have limitless options it's hard to sort through all of them. Don't take it so personally and just keep putting yourself out there.
Shining One Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 How old is this woman? I've found (in general) that women above a certain age prefer calling and look down upon texting and women below a certain age prefer texting. If she falls into the former category, she may have been turned off because you didn't call.
menyou Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 First of all, you will never know how women think, just like how women will never how men think. You were brave enough to try to kiss her, but not to call and ask her out on a date? Probably thinks you're only interested in banging her. Just call her already, wait a day and do it. First sentence. Spot on.
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 I think she was 21. I mean does it really matter if I called or text? Seems to me such a minor point it's not even worth thinking about. I'm not a fan of calling OR texting, I'd rather meet someone in person but I figured most people seem to prefer texting and it's quite a convenient way of doing things.
menyou Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I think she was 21. I mean does it really matter if I called or text? Seems to me such a minor point it's not even worth thinking about. I'm not a fan of calling OR texting, I'd rather meet someone in person but I figured most people seem to prefer texting and it's quite a convenient way of doing things. It's ok to not be a fan, but you kind of need to do one or the other to make meet up plans. Since texting hasn't worked try calling. Maybe you will have a different outcome
Oregon_Dude Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I will tell you this. I have arranged to speak with women on the phone (via text) before our first date. ALL of them have loved the idea, and I've had some great pre-date phone convos. It establishes rapport and creates excitement for the date. It also weeds out some of the women who I can tell I do not want to meet. You can discern quite a bit from someone's voice. Something to think about. I think it was fitnessfan from this very site who made clear what a great idea this is. So, thanks if you're reading, FF!
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Well of course you have to do one or the other to set up dates, that much is obvious. I'm just not into endless small talk over the phone be it calling or texting. It bores me to death and I've come across a lot of girls who seem to only want a pen pal or a text buddy. I'm happy to use my phone to plan a date and maybe touch base every once in awhile.
RightThere Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I'm just not into endless small talk over the phone be it calling or texting. It bores me to death and I've come across a lot of girls who seem to only want a pen pal or a text buddy. I'm happy to use my phone to plan a date and maybe touch base every once in awhile. Right. So don't put any effort into calling a girl and then wonder why they don't respond to the 10 seconds of effort you put into composing a text. Trust me. You don't understand her because she's putting the same effort into responding to you that you did in contacting her.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I think she was 21. I mean does it really matter if I called or text? Seems to me such a minor point it's not even worth thinking about. If she were really interested and wanted to meet up with you, she'd probably answer either way. So no, I don't think it's the main consideration. But I think a phone call sets you apart from other guys who may be messaging her in various ways. Messages and texts are cheap and plentiful, but a phone call has a lot more presence. A man calling you feels a lot more real than another random dude messaging you. In my opinion. But I think the larger point here is that you have to learn to let this stuff roll off your back and keep moving forward. There are so many flaky people these days, and I'm sure that 21-year-old girls are some of the worst offenders! I've always been a serious, non-flaky person and dater, but I've found that you sometimes have to weed through quite a few flakes to get to the good people. I used to take flakiness personally, but then I figured out that it has nothing to do with me and those people are just flaky.
Author cessna Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 If she were really interested and wanted to meet up with you, she'd probably answer either way. So no, I don't think it's the main consideration. But I think a phone call sets you apart from other guys who may be messaging her in various ways. Messages and texts are cheap and plentiful, but a phone call has a lot more presence. A man calling you feels a lot more real than another random dude messaging you. In my opinion. But I think the larger point here is that you have to learn to let this stuff roll off your back and keep moving forward. There are so many flaky people these days, and I'm sure that 21-year-old girls are some of the worst offenders! I've always been a serious, non-flaky person and dater, but I've found that you sometimes have to weed through quite a few flakes to get to the good people. I used to take flakiness personally, but then I figured out that it has nothing to do with me and those people are just flaky. I agree but this seems to happen 90% of the time now. I could deal with the odd flaky girl but it seems to be a rare thing if a girl isn't a flake in my experience.
Maggie4 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 How long has it been? Give it at least 3 days.
HereNorThere Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Don't believe the phone call vs. text thing because it's pretty irrelevant. Honestly, I've heard so many girls say different things on this subject that I've determined you'll never truly be able to tell what a girl prefers. I used to think it was age. Meaning younger women prefer texting, but two of 35 year old girl friend's were having a conversation the other day about how creepy and awkward it is when a guy actually calls them, so I give up. I think at this point everyone text unless you need to say something serious. Even my grandmother mostly communicates this way. I just don't think there's really any way to tell what someone prefers unless they tell you, but I think any 20 something year old girl is going to naturally assume you that you'll text her. The truth is that when someone is really into you, it doesn't matter if you have to go over there and throw rocks at their window. Something like "text vs. phone call" isn't going to be enough to mess that up unless...... They just aren't that into you.
Zippy2000 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Women change their minds all the time. When she saw you out that night she liked you. She woke up next day and didnt "feel" anything was there for her. Copious amounts of alcohol do this. Question: How many times has this happened?
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