Disconnect Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Perfection is boring. Perfection is for magazines, not real life. A lot of studies have shown that people prefer variations / flaws when becoming attracted to someone. Really, though, what a pathetic 'dilemma'. Like the person upthread said, no one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to date this person.
runningscared79 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I'll shoot you straight.. I work in the PR industry (entertainment) and models and the like are generally in need of people who will worship and accept them. It's just built into their personality and DNA. If you aren't attracted to him.. believe me.. he will find tens of hundreds of others who can "appreciate him" for who and what he is. No fault on you.. go find someone you really want!
empresario Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Oh, the first world problems! Sometimes chemistry is weird like that. Attraction and chemistry are completely separate things...most don't understand that. And it's been scientifically proven! And chemistry, scientifically, always seems to be mutual. If you click with someone, they will click with you as well. If you like him, go with it. If you think the attraction issue will get in the way, then it may not be worth pursuing. The more important problem is the lifestyle difference, in my opinion. I, too, live a life where I have to maintain a positive public image. A woman that didn't want to participate that would ultimately hurt my image and my profession and it wouldn't be fair to me. I would see it as being unsupportive. If it's not your personality, then it won't be fair to either of you to try to work around it.
Toodaloo Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 why universe, send me this one? Because the universe is an ass. Do the same as we do when we have a tubs. Turn the lights off when you have sex with him. And Buddist never underestimate how attractive "odd" can be. Embrace it and be glad of it. Personally I have a real thing for big noses that I am trying to get over... 1
empresario Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Because the universe is an ass. Do the same as we do when we have a tubs. Turn the lights off when you have sex with him. And Buddist never underestimate how attractive "odd" can be. Embrace it and be glad of it. Personally I have a real thing for big noses that I am trying to get over... Did I mention my ancestors were Jewish? Seriously though, I have heard of that fetish amongst women before. It's not necessarily 'odd'. 1
stillafool Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I What if after 12 years he realise that he can still get hit early to mid 20 women and you're a 50 s woman with post menopause muffin top ( all women that age get thick around the middle) I'm in my 50's and have a 28 inch waist (hardly a muffin top). Women age way worse than men. So the fact he's already much younger than you is bad. Men our OWN age can get women 10 years younger. A male model can get women 15 maybe even 20 years younger. And, she has just proved she can also get a guy 15 years younger than her. OP, I've never seen a professional male model with bulky muscles. They normally have to be tall and slim to wear the clothes well.
Author Buddhist Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) And, she has just proved she can also get a guy 15 years younger than her. OP, I've never seen a professional male model with bulky muscles. They normally have to be tall and slim to wear the clothes well. He's 6ft so actually a bit on the short side for his profession. When I say bulky we're not talking arnie here. He's not a waif though, which is what I normally go for. So to my eye's yes he's a lot meatier than I am used to and it seems bulky. But in clothing, yeah he seems to be of normal build with high definition on the parts that show. I guess the upshot is that physically, he is not what I would normally go for. But then again clearly what I would normally go for hasn't worked out for the long haul either. So maybe there's a lesson in that? He's not unattractive and given the hormonal rush I get maybe I'm not as un-attracted to him as I like to think I am. Denial could be at play here and my own vanity. Is he an attention whore? Probably, it would take one to constantly jump in front of a camera at every opportunity. But that doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad person or likely to do bad things. I guess I can't tell at this stage if he's a raging narcissist that's something that only time will reveal. Does he treat me well? I really haven't spend enough time with him to know yet. Everyone puts on their best face in the beginning, again it's a time thing there. Am I insecure? Hell yeah because my own relationship history hasn't been stellar and well some mornings when I look in the mirror I get disappointed in what I see. Frankly the idea of having any guy wake up in my bed and see my pillow face these days doesn't thrill me. So there's a lot going on here....How can I keep a guy at an arms length to preserve my own fragile sense of self? And if I do that it's unlikely to ever be a meaningful relationship in the sense of true partnership. I know I've just got to get over it and one day be vulnerable with another person but this one doesn't seem to inspire that choice, quite the opposite. I can see myself getting competitive here and obssessing about how I'm tracking as the years pass. Very unhealthy thing to do considering the fact I'm already over a decade down the line. So I guess I'm wanting to run not because of his faults but my own, I'm not sure I'm secure enough to navigate all the lows that this kind of match is likely to inspire. Edited September 22, 2015 by Buddhist
Ruby Slippers Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Does he treat me well? I really haven't spend enough time with him to know yet. Everyone puts on their best face in the beginning, again it's a time thing there. This doesn't sound right to me. You know if a man is treating you well or not, even after a couple of dates. If you can't say that he is, that sounds problematic to me. So I guess I'm wanting to run not because of his faults but my own, I'm not sure I'm secure enough to navigate all the lows that this kind of match is likely to inspire. If this is how you feel, I think your instincts and intuition are trying to tell you something. I think if he were a good match for you, you'd feel a lot more secure. Couples are most successful when they're in the same ballpark in terms of intelligence, socioeconomic level, and looks. And you've got the age difference to contend with as well. So I think your intuition is leading you in the right direction here.
Toodaloo Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Did I mention my ancestors were Jewish? Seriously though, I have heard of that fetish amongst women before. It's not necessarily 'odd'. Why though? It is seriously weird... When I start thinking of the physical things I find attractive its stuff like bit of a belly (not fat but I do love a bit of a paunch), big nose, muscular arms, strong hands... Its probably not best to ask me what is sexy... My perfect man by my description would probably look like Quasimodo and I would be looking at him saying yuck! I just tell everyone I like ripped muscles and ya know the usual. But in reality its far far from it... Buddhist just concentrate on how he treats you. Actions speak far louder than words. Give it time. Trust me there are plenty of years for him to go saggy and bald yet. 1
Celeste.Carol Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 (edited) Many different type of models. Is he a muscle mag or exercise mag model, bulky, or a Milan runway model, tall, slender, built, but not anyone you would not want on your arm...embarrassment? I read you did not want to take him around your friends. There may be too many differences between you two and the fact you do not feel chemistry. George Hamilton at one time was considered one of the best looking men in the world, but I never found him attractive because his face is too perfect looking, fake nose, way too tan all the time. I like a different look, so if I had rejected him, it would not be because there is something wrong with him, but the attraction is missing. I am more of a Tom Brady fan...the tall slender muscle and so so cute face, those eyes! Attraction especially initial= very important! Edited September 23, 2015 by Celeste.Carol
Celeste.Carol Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 I am the same! I can't even date a guy who's hot by societies standards ( but not quite a model) I am a normal girl like you. Even though I pretty to some people, I definately know a hot guy with the option of thinner, cuter and younger more fertile women, IS going to realise that at some stage. It could be on Two months or perhaps in two years. What if after 12 years he realise that he can still get hit early to mid 20 women and you're a 50 s woman with post menopause muffin top ( all women that age get thick around the middle) Yes some women get hit by the post menopause muffin top, BUT I have seen a large number and I mean large percentage of 20 year old with huge muffin tops, esp. when the fad was showing parts of your underwear line, with skinny jeans. Your posts have many anti-women, so hard on them. I am a woman and love woman, today women are taking care of themselves and looking fantastic and beautiful well into their early 60s. I am late late 30s, take care of myself and will never have a muffin top...size 0 with muscle, better bod than when I was in my 20s. Look at Jennifer Anniston, Angelina Jolie, Christie Brinkley, Carmen Electra, Sofia Vergara (my favorite), so many hot older women. Self confidence and a winning attitude alone can get you a great looking man regardless of all the flaws you focus so much on.
Author Buddhist Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 I am late late 30s, take care of myself and will never have a muffin top...size 0 with muscle, better bod than when I was in my 20s. Look at Jennifer Anniston, Angelina Jolie, Christie Brinkley, Carmen Electra, Sofia Vergara (my favorite), so many hot older women. Self confidence and a winning attitude alone can get you a great looking man regardless of all the flaws you focus so much on. I'm the same, over 40 and my body is better now than it ever was even in my teens. I personally find it easier to carry a low body fat percentage now I'm past the fertile years. My body was a nightmare in my 20's. After 30. the hormones settled down and I finally got my natural figure. A lot of what people call ageing is actually poor lifestyle habits. No-one gets a muffin top because they've aged. They get it because they don't exercise and eat a tonne of food of low nutritional value. I'm so not getting old lady flat bum.....squats for me. 2
Toodaloo Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 A lot of what people call ageing is actually poor lifestyle habits. No-one gets a muffin top because they've aged. They get it because they don't exercise and eat a tonne of food of low nutritional value. I'm so not getting old lady flat bum.....squats for me. Damn you mean I really do have to give up the Mars bars??? That sucks... Leigh is young and a very "visual" person... Personally I know I still turn heads with a bit of scaffolding and a few pairs of sucky in pants... Its fine. I am happy. The problem is not turning heads - its keeping the head that has brains in it turned towards you when they realise the world has more to offer than just a pretty face.
Celeste.Carol Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Damn you mean I really do have to give up the Mars bars??? That sucks... Leigh is young and a very "visual" person... Personally I know I still turn heads with a bit of scaffolding and a few pairs of sucky in pants... Its fine. I am happy. The problem is not turning heads - its keeping the head that has brains in it turned towards you when they realise the world has more to offer than just a pretty face. Yes, I believe when a person becomes comfortable in their own unique skin, then others will gravitate toward the energy, keeping them is a whole other story.
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