Buddhist Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Okay, So here we go, I prepare for all manner of comments and actually all comments are welcome. I've been single for a while now and honestly I was prepared to be single forever and actually looking forward to it. I had my life plan, my career plan and all set ready to just enjoy living. So there I was minding my own business when I got struck by lightening in the form of meeting a guy. We both felt the chemistry, it was enormous and he's interested. He's a professional model. He's also got the classic masculine physique and it's a work of art. But I'm just not attracted to his body. I've always dated slender and fit guys, not some guy with washboard abs and quite built up. His face is amazing, he glows with health. I am very attracted to him as a person, I admire his discipline, dedication and ambition. Yet when I look at pictures of him, I'm turned off by his physique. It's just too bulky and I hate that. So call me shallow. But there it is. The other real incompatiblity is that he lives his life in the public eye, I'm an extremely private person to the point where I wouldn't want people beyond my circle of friends to really know we are dating. I also don't like the idea of having to live up to this, I'd much prefer to find a normal person, like myself so I can be comfortable in the relationship. So long story short - yeah he's too much. You can be too good looking, too physically perfect and it can be a turn off. At the end of the day I'm a normal person, I'm looking for someone on my level I guess. I don't have a need for a trophy, I want a relationship with someone special. No, this isn't a troll post either. why universe, send me this one?
kassy Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 If you don't find him attractive then walk away. The rest sounds like excuses. He isn't perfect, get to know him better and you will find that out. But doesn't sound like you like him so .... Not a biggie right 1
menyou Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He's only a trophy if you view him that way. If there is chemistry and you enjoy his company why push it away? Maybe he gets tired of the spotlight, too. Your relaxed manner may be what he craves. Just decline all invites to the red carpet lol
Smitten and Bitten Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Okay, So here we go, I prepare for all manner of comments and actually all comments are welcome. I've been single for a while now and honestly I was prepared to be single forever and actually looking forward to it. I had my life plan, my career plan and all set ready to just enjoy living. So there I was minding my own business when I got struck by lightening in the form of meeting a guy. We both felt the chemistry, it was enormous and he's interested. He's a professional model. He's also got the classic masculine physique and it's a work of art. But I'm just not attracted to his body. I've always dated slender and fit guys, not some guy with washboard abs and quite built up. His face is amazing, he glows with health. I am very attracted to him as a person, I admire his discipline, dedication and ambition. Yet when I look at pictures of him, I'm turned off by his physique. It's just too bulky and I hate that. So call me shallow. But there it is. The other real incompatiblity is that he lives his life in the public eye, I'm an extremely private person to the point where I wouldn't want people beyond my circle of friends to really know we are dating. I also don't like the idea of having to live up to this, I'd much prefer to find a normal person, like myself so I can be comfortable in the relationship. So long story short - yeah he's too much. You can be too good looking, too physically perfect and it can be a turn off. At the end of the day I'm a normal person, I'm looking for someone on my level I guess. I don't have a need for a trophy, I want a relationship with someone special. No, this isn't a troll post either. why universe, send me this one? Oh haha, if I had a dollar for every time I've created this conundrum for someone...I'd be broke. You want a relationship with someone special. Is he special? Maybe you could get him to smoke pot and eat Doritos once in a while... 2
seekingluck Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Sounds like a bad fit to me. Being "physically perfect" doesn't mean it makes the person a good fit for you!
Author Buddhist Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 If you don't find him attractive then walk away. The rest sounds like excuses. He isn't perfect, get to know him better and you will find that out. But doesn't sound like you like him so .... Not a biggie right Yes you're right. I've always been attracted to an androgynous look, so to get electricity with a hyper-masculine type is very confusing for me. I'm attracted to his personality though, he has an awesome attitude to life, he is beautiful to look at. I'm certain many people would love to date him. Although I can see his beauty and appreciate it, I have this conflict.
Author Buddhist Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 He's only a trophy if you view him that way. If there is chemistry and you enjoy his company why push it away? Maybe he gets tired of the spotlight, too. Your relaxed manner may be what he craves. Just decline all invites to the red carpet lol I like your humour.... Yes that is the other side of my conflict. I like him in many ways right? Why throw away a good chance to perhaps making a connection. But there's insecurity in me too. I mean he gets paid to look amazing, and he's about 14yrs younger than me. Might be all fun and games for a few months but eventually this will be an issue and I don't think I want to be on the receiving end of the moment when he decides he can do much better. Especially if I've gotten emotionally attached by that point. Just sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.
Author Buddhist Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 You want a relationship with someone special. Is he special? Maybe you could get him to smoke pot and eat Doritos once in a while... Very special in his own way. Perhaps too much so. I don't feel up to it if I'm being honest here. This just feels like insecurity city to me and I can see me hitting a wall with it sooner rather than later.
lino Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 There are literally millions of normal and average guys out there without rock hard abs and model looks. I'm sure scores of them have even approaches you and you've turned them down. No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to date a model 1
Oregon_Dude Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hey, not all mere mortals can handle us Greek gods. Throw him back to the myths.
Zippy2000 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He just isnt your body type. Your thread makes me chuckle as I have a femal friend who loves the bulky look with bulging biceps and abs. Everyone has different preferences but think about it this way. He wont always be bulky. As he ages he will loose his muscle mass. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. SO you could say if you date him in the long term. He`ll shrink to the man you want him to be. lol Try to look beyond his physique and if you cant then you`re not attracted to him in the physical sense. I aways thought women werent that visual unlike us men.
Author Buddhist Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 There are literally millions of normal and average guys out there without rock hard abs and model looks. I'm sure scores of them have even approaches you and you've turned them down. No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to date a model Actually I am rarely if ever approached. It happens about once every half decade or so. So no, I don't immediately want to just outright reject interest when it does turn up. I want to consider the opportunity and make sure I'm not having a knee jerk reaction that I will later regret. So yeah, I know this post seems like a waste of time. But I thought maybe I could benefit from other people's perspective since my own is so clouded at the moment. Like it or not, we all get insecure and have conflicts when it comes to dating. Sometimes it helps to talk them out. It's odd for me that I'm having this reaction as the average and normal guys I have dated in the past haven't had this effect on me. I've been quite happy to accept their interest, we just haven't gone permanent for various reasons. It's a new experience for me to suddenly be confronted with my own stuff in one big hit like this. As I said, it's confusing. A part of me wants to go there and see what happens and another part says....don't do it.
Leigh 87 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I am the same! I can't even date a guy who's hot by societies standards ( but not quite a model) I am a normal girl like you. Even though I pretty to some people, I definately know a hot guy with the option of thinner, cuter and younger more fertile women, IS going to realise that at some stage. It could be on Two months or perhaps in two years. What if after 12 years he realise that he can still get hit early to mid 20 women and you're a 50 s woman with post menopause muffin top ( all women that age get thick around the middle) Yes there are some true love stories involving model men and average women but please, jess he falls totally head over heels for you, it's going to be very very evident as you age, that there's a discrepancy in the looks department. Women age way worse than men. So the fact he's already much younger than you is bad. Men our OWN age can get women 10 years younger. A male model can get women 15 maybe even 20 years younger. Sorry I am just cynacle. And I would HATE to be the ugly one in the relationship where my partner is much better looking than me. I prefer a mile equal pairing.
Leigh 87 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Actually I am rarely if ever approached. It happens about once every half decade or so. So no, I don't immediately want to just outright reject interest when it does turn up. I want to consider the opportunity and make sure I'm not having a knee jerk reaction that I will later regret. So yeah, I know this post seems like a waste of time. But I thought maybe I could benefit from other people's perspective since my own is so clouded at the moment. Like it or not, we all get insecure and have conflicts when it comes to dating. Sometimes it helps to talk them out. It's odd for me that I'm having this reaction as the average and normal guys I have dated in the past haven't had this effect on me. I've been quite happy to accept their interest, we just haven't gone permanent for various reasons. It's a new experience for me to suddenly be confronted with my own stuff in one big hit like this. As I said, it's confusing. A part of me wants to go there and see what happens and another part says....don't do it. You had chemistry so give it a go! You have nothing to loose. I would be totally insecure at times because I am no model myself. But true love would make the insecurity worthwhile lol and, better still, you have ways to combat insecurity such as therapy and positive self talk. Even beautiful model women get dumped. No one is safe so in a sense, if things are truly clicking on all levels then it's probably rare for him to have it all in one woman. Perhaps the younger and slimmer and fellow model air heads only evoke a physical response and he fails to connect mentally with them? He's obviously tried to go after fellow models and younger more attractive women and yet he's still single. Looks obviously aren't everything. And I'm sure he's pretty darn attracted to you. You cannot be that plain if s male model has the hots for you.. At your age, you are clearly doing something right . I would love to know your secret ( and don't say good genes LOL)
jam.over.jelly Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 why even make a thread when you already basically answer it yourself? You find his physique to be a turn off, and apparently can't look pass that. I can't believe there is such a thing as being "too perfect"; and even when the guy isn't perfect, there is always gonna be another thing wrong with him. Poor guy! He can't win with you! Please do him a favor and stop leading him on. 2
Author Buddhist Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 You had chemistry so give it a go! You have nothing to loose. You cannot be that plain if s male model has the hots for you.. At your age, you are clearly doing something right . I would love to know your secret ( and don't say good genes LOL) Not good genes at all....lol! I am odd looking, not beautiful by female standards but I do have strong bone structure to my face and very large eyes. Definately an acquired taste and one that apparently not many men are into facially anyway. It doesn't hurt I have classic petite hourglass figure either. My secret? Drink lots of water, give up sugar, grains and all processed food. Live on steamed vegetables and protein, use quality skin care. That's it.
LookAtThisPOst Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Okay, So here we go, I prepare for all manner of comments and actually all comments are welcome. I've been single for a while now and honestly I was prepared to be single forever and actually looking forward to it. I had my life plan, my career plan and all set ready to just enjoy living. So there I was minding my own business when I got struck by lightening in the form of meeting a guy. We both felt the chemistry, it was enormous and he's interested. He's a professional model. He's also got the classic masculine physique and it's a work of art. But I'm just not attracted to his body. I've always dated slender and fit guys, not some guy with washboard abs and quite built up. His face is amazing, he glows with health. I am very attracted to him as a person, I admire his discipline, dedication and ambition. Yet when I look at pictures of him, I'm turned off by his physique. It's just too bulky and I hate that. So call me shallow. But there it is. The other real incompatiblity is that he lives his life in the public eye, I'm an extremely private person to the point where I wouldn't want people beyond my circle of friends to really know we are dating. I also don't like the idea of having to live up to this, I'd much prefer to find a normal person, like myself so I can be comfortable in the relationship. So long story short - yeah he's too much. You can be too good looking, too physically perfect and it can be a turn off. At the end of the day I'm a normal person, I'm looking for someone on my level I guess. I don't have a need for a trophy, I want a relationship with someone special. No, this isn't a troll post either. why universe, send me this one? Yeah, I don't know if this is something I've noticed or gender based. But I've noticed some women aren't attracted to the overly (if there's such a word) attractive. Like...they are so attractive, it's surreal or unnatural.
HereNorThere Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Napoleon Dynamite dated a model as well, but it didn't really work out for him. Probably more to do with the LDR and her living in Oklahoma. Use your own sense of empathy and think of how it makes you feel when someone judges you based on your physical appearance. It's really not that great of a feeling, is it? Give him a chance to prove his character and personality instead of judging him based on his looks because that's how you would want to be treated. You may be missing out on an amazing guy who also happens to be super gorgeous. Next you're going to tell us you won too much money in the lottery, huh. I guess things are tough all over.
salparadise Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I like your humour.... Yes that is the other side of my conflict. I like him in many ways right? Why throw away a good chance to perhaps making a connection. But there's insecurity in me too. I mean he gets paid to look amazing, and he's about 14yrs younger than me. Might be all fun and games for a few months but eventually this will be an issue and I don't think I want to be on the receiving end of the moment when he decides he can do much better. Especially if I've gotten emotionally attached by that point. Just sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen. You realize what you're saying here, right? That basically you're going to issue a preemptive rejection as a defensive move... because you don't feel worthy. I mean seriously? You know you will eventually realize he's a flawed human being just like the rest of us, and you went and cut him loose because you couldn't imagine him being down off the pedestal appreciating your awesomeness. First, call your therapist for an appointment... and in the meantime, sex him up like a raving nympho... and take pictures for facebook, your exes, and your eventual grandkids who will have missed out on those prime genetics because you had a bout of anxiety instead of grabbing life by the ass and sucking the marrow out of it. What would Buddha have to say? 3
guest569 Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 If this is purely about lack of attraction, that's all there is to it. You either are or you aren't, it doesn't matter how good looking he is. Is that all it is, or are you creating excuses for yourself to protect yourself?
Popsicle Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 Women are happier with men who are less attractive than she is because the men behave better, which makes for a happier relationship. http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/hot-not-better-shot-happiness-article-1.291695
Author Buddhist Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 You realize what you're saying here, right? That basically you're going to issue a preemptive rejection as a defensive move... because you don't feel worthy. I mean seriously? You know you will eventually realize he's a flawed human being just like the rest of us, and you went and cut him loose because you couldn't imagine him being down off the pedestal appreciating your awesomeness. First, call your therapist for an appointment... and in the meantime, sex him up like a raving nympho... and take pictures for facebook, your exes, and your eventual grandkids who will have missed out on those prime genetics because you had a bout of anxiety instead of grabbing life by the ass and sucking the marrow out of it. What would Buddha have to say? You win the internet today!
Author Buddhist Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 If this is purely about lack of attraction, that's all there is to it. You either are or you aren't, it doesn't matter how good looking he is. Is that all it is, or are you creating excuses for yourself to protect yourself? I'll vote for the excuses option. sadly. A previous poster called it.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 How does he treat you? How do you get along? The personality problems I've encountered with exceptionally good-looking men are vanity and arrogance. 1
regine_phalange Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 How do you predict the future of your dating? Is it a family gift or just insecurity? He may be a private person deep inside too. Or even if he isn't he may like the fact that you are private because this means you are with him for reasons other than publicity. Also don't put him on a pedestal that much ("live up to this") because of the way he looks, he's a human who happens to have a certain gift. You have your own gifts too. If you are really not attracted to him physically then that's another story. I usually don't find male models that attractive either (it must be the way they pose I guess). It all depends on their face and body language.
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