Mornings are the worst. All I do is think about her. (Updated)

[kevin smithy]

Hey guys. Most of my threads were bout things ending with my ex. I have accepted the fact that she was not happy and she left, which she has a right to do. I just wish she told me how she felt soon so we could've don e something about it. Something's did go really wrong, she paid other people more attention. She didnt show much interest in me and she never cared to see me or spend time with me. So I just want to know her birthday is coming soon and I don't want to break N.C. but should i message her. Just a simple happy birthday I'm not looking for anything in return. Or should I just leave things as they are and stay N.C. we shared something special and we were the best of friends and even tho things ended i just think i should wish her a happy birthday and that's it. So should I???

[ScienceGal]

No, you should not message her.

 

Your post is a painted picture of the past, both good and bad. But it's just that, the past. Let it go. It is not your place to try to be her friend now. And, you don't want to set yourself back in healing.

 

Keep moving forward. Good luck!

[candie13]

No, you should not message her.

 

Your post is a painted picture of the past, both good and bad. But it's just that, the past. Let it go. It is not your place to try to be her friend now. And, you don't want to set yourself back in healing.

 

Keep moving forward. Good luck!

 

Best thing to do is to keep No Contact. Sorry, mate! Stay strong!

[Hell Yeah]

Hey guys. Most of my threads were bout things ending with my ex. I have accepted the fact that she was not happy and she left, which she has a right to do. I just wish she told me how she felt soon so we could've don e something about it. Something's did go really wrong, she paid other people more attention. She didnt show much interest in me and she never cared to see me or spend time with me. So I just want to know her birthday is coming soon and I don't want to break N.C. but should i message her. Just a simple happy birthday I'm not looking for anything in return. Or should I just leave things as they are and stay N.C. we shared something special and we were the best of friends and even tho things ended i just think i should wish her a happy birthday and that's it. So should I???

 

dude i know your hurting but this part stuck out

 

''Something's did go really wrong, she paid other people more attention. She didnt show much interest in me and she never cared to see me or spend time with me''

 

if she didn't give you the respect during the relationship, don't give her the respect afterwards. The message will bring a moment of 'happy' then your feel like s**t if she ignores or just says 'thanks' then your NC for healing is broken and starts all over again

 

I broke NC last week to arrange some stuff back i needed, she ends up asking for a favor out of the short convo messages for her kid (she knew i would do it).........I had a happy feeling for a few moments now I feel like crap again

 

Think about why you want to send it.

 

Is it to get a 'hit' for our addiction, because that's what most relationship - breakups end up feeling like, to find a reason for contact, just to stop the insanity for 5 minutes!!!

 

Or do you generally just want to say Happy birthday without thinking is she going to or not going to respond back. If you can do that then by all means

 

Dude i know it sucks, i do feel for ya

[Thegreatfrazzle]

No. You owe her nothing. She decided to leave, she has no right to expect anything from you any more.

[kevin smithy]

I was thinking of doing it just because we spent some years together.. but she did leave me without putting up a fight. after i thought she would fight for us and me.. guess its truly not worth breaking contact for. im good staying in N.C .. thanks guys

[Thegreatfrazzle]

I was thinking of doing it just because we spent some years together.. but she did leave me without putting up a fight. after i thought she would fight for us and me.. guess its truly not worth breaking contact for. im good staying in N.C .. thanks guys

 

Well done Yeah, she left you, clearly the years you spent together weren't as great as you thought. F*ck her for ruining your memories.

[kevin smithy]

Well done Yeah, she left you, clearly the years you spent together weren't as great as you thought. F*ck her for ruining your memories.

 

Most definitely my friend

[mtnbiker3000]

Your feelings are there to tell you things you need to listen to. If you neglect them they get stuck in our bodies and eventually cause other problems.

 

Eckhart Tolle refers to these as "pain bodies", and some would say that they are indeed very real and exist in all of us to different degrees...

[Itspointless]

Eckhart Tolle refers to these as "pain bodies", and some would say that they are indeed very real and exist in all of us to different degrees...

I mainly got this from psychological/psychiatrical literature. There are even theorists who propose that physical tensions are at the basis of our emotions as our body surges for a way to process certain energies. Pain bodies seems like a proper term for it.

[kevin smithy]

Yip. Every morning. I do t get the extra sleep anymore. In fact I don't even get up late. Just think about her and it makes me miserable for a while while I'm in bed. So weird when you use to start your day with someone everyday, now when you hurt every morning, all you can think about is them and how they left you, and how they are fine starting there days without you. Really hurt sometimes.

[sbk24]

It is the same for me my friend. I could not remember a day for the past 8 years that I did not speak to my ex. Mornings are the worse, especially when you do not get any sleep. Most mornings I think "Why on earth am I alive?" or "I really cannot face the world today". You just have to get out of bed, have a shower and get yourself occupied.

 

I have been on sleeping pills and all sorts just to get a few hours sleep. Going to be honest, it is nightmares that keep me up and I am actually scared of going to sleep. The best way for me at the minute is just exercise and reading. Go for a run or go lift some weights, make yourself feel exhausted.

 

It is just most people do not like change, however, it will take time to accept this change and for it become the norm.

[K2z]

It's the same with me. I have become like an Apache scout... I can literally guess the time of day by the shade of the sky outside my window. I know when the sun comes up to a tee. I hate sunrise. There's a couple hours of relative peace between 1 and 3 am.

 

Sleeping pills (over the counter) for about three months straight.

[kevin smithy]

Some days are just so hard. Knowing that the person you shared so many great times with, and were looking forward to do more great things just leaves you. Leaves you with all the pain, the depression the stress, the hurt. Its like picking up a million pieces of your life back. And they are gone, never looked back. Its sad knowing that these things happen, especially from people who claim to always love us, and want to be with us. Its really har . Her life is great, shes got schoo . A ron of friends, a new world with alot of experience. And im stuck here in the stupid low paying job thay i hate, with not much hapenning for me. And she just left me when I was in the toughest stage of my life. Never asked to see me, her own bf. She never asked to see me in months, to kiss me or hug me or anything. Made me feel so unwanted and worthless.. Picking up the pieces and putting back your life together is hard guys. It really is

[Draper]

It is hard man but we have to remember that once we pick those pieces up again, we'll be better off than we were before. The truth is, if your GF is capable of getting up and walking out on you without much warning, then you're better off without her. Especially if lying is involved.

 

Mornings are the worst, which is why I typically get on here straight away with a cup of coffee. It's rough though. This morning I found myself wondering what was wrong with me, why wasn't I good enough? I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping as well.. I can't go to bed before 2 or 3 am or else I lay there and let thoughts creep into my head. I've also been smoking weed before bed for the past couple weeks, which I find helps.

 

It sounds like you, sbk, and I are all going through some similar situations. It's made it easier not be facing this alone. In time we will all find the peace we need but for now we have to remember we deserve better and won't settle for anything but that.