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Mornings are the worst. All I do is think about her. (Updated)

kevin smithy

By kevin smithy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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This december would be 3 years me and my ex wouldve been together. she broke up with me recently saying she doesnt love me anymore and she wants different things. you would think that with almost 3 years in the bag she woudlve known what she wanted. i tried so hard and on so many occassions to get back with her. she doesnt want anything with me. i broke 2 weeks of no contact and called her, told her i missed her and stuff and she was just so normal saying she busy she has class and stuff. she said we would talk later but she never called or messaged, i still called but no answer. The hardest thing for me was knowing that all that time we spend with all the love talks, and planning together and working on our relationship, that she just brushed me off so easily and moved on with her life. she never even attempted to fight for me, or for us and what we had. just dropped our relationship like it meant nothing. and to think that i gave her all i could give, my trust, my love, openned up my family to her as well. and she threw it all away. Im happy to say im done with her completely, she will never get a call or msg from me. im just so disappointed that all that time we spent and doing everything together, she coould just drop it all like we never existed.

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Draper Established Member

Draper

Posted
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I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, I can certainly relate.

 

My ex gave me basically no indication there was trouble. We were still doing the things we always did, in fact she broke up with me the day after we returned from a vacation with my family that she joined us on.

 

That was about two weeks ago and she has, by all indications, moved on already. I'll never understand how she could do that, but for our own sanity we gotta stop asking ourselves why and just get on with it.

EO422 Established Member

EO422

Posted
Posted

same thing happened to me. Do not question this. I wonder how she moved on so easily and brushed everything off...What goes around comes around. Dont worry about it. Stay in NC, you are mad right now, but you will soon feel sad again and want to call her. DO NOT give in. Better late than never with NC..now she can start to see what its like without you...although that could be months or years before she realizes. DO NOT sit on the shelf waiting for her, she may never come back.

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PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

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you would think that with almost 3 years in the bag she woudlve known what she wanted.

Yeah, she did, and unfortunately it wasn't you.

 

she said we would talk later but she never called or messaged, i still called but no answer.

You need to take the hint here. She doesn't want to talk to you. She only said that to get rid of you, to stop you from harassing her.

 

Just leave her alone before she calls the cops on you for stalking.

 

she never even attempted to fight for me

Well, respectfully. She decided she didn't want you. Why would she fight for something she didn't want? That makes no sense.

 

Im happy to say im done with her completely, she will never get a call or msg from me.

Good man! Yes, let her eat silence.

  • Like 1
mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted

Whenever you get the urge to contact her (and you will) just remember that she breathes a sigh of relief every day she doesn't hear from you. There's nothing there for you on the other end of that phone.

Jc396 Member

Jc396

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Posted

I can definitely relate. My boyfriend of five years gave up because he was unhappy with my self confidence issues. He said I need to love myself before I can love others but he left me at a time where I had a lot going on. Sorry if I'm not 100% happy with my life 100% of the time. I have my down days just like everyone else. Now he is being rather cold. Deleted me from everything and refuses to speak to me. He is treating me as if I cheated on him or lied to him which is funny cause he did exactly that and I took him back and fought for the relationship. It's funny how I can move past cheating but me not handling my stress in an ideal way sends him running. I don't understand some people. But just know that there is someone out there for everyone

Hipster_22 Member

Hipster_22

Posted
Posted (edited)

As tempting as it is to contact her, stay in NC. You are going to have some days were you feel the temptation is almost unbearable but you have to stay strong. If she wants to contact you she will, if you keep trying to make contact you will just push her further away. Silence is powerful, she will miss you at some point, whether she talks to you or not doesn't matter, she will still miss you.

 

I feel your pain. Once she told me I begged for another chance and she went on to block me on everything. Haven't made contact since. I am 2 and a half weeks NC (that she started) and at times all I want to do is message her or go and see her, but I am still trying to move on so I can make a rational decision whether I do want her back or not if she does come back (and if she doesn't, it won't matter as I will have moved on). You should do the same. Stay strong :)

Edited by UNTAMEDKILLA94
  • Like 2
Clarence_Boddicker Established Member

Clarence_Boddicker

Posted
Posted

Most likely, she's put a lot of thought into dumping you before she actually did. Her mind was probably well made when she cut you loose. It sucks, but that's how it's usually done. Since she's had time to analyze things without being in love, it & you look different to her. No offense, but she probably sees you as nothing more than a bad memory.

Thegreatfrazzle Member

Thegreatfrazzle

Posted
Posted

I can relate, but the thing is, it wasn't 'easy' for her to leave you. It just so happened that she fell out of love with you. Even so, I would not be okay with that if I were you. You have lots of things going on in your life, but you were committed and caring enough to keep the relationship going. She clearly wasn't, so let her go and for good. You deserve someone who appreciates you, and appreciates the time you were together for. My advice would to not look back on those 3 years as favourably as you do. Yeah you had some good times, but they were shared with someone who doesn't think they were good enough to stay with you. She has tainted your time together.

 

I know how hurtful it is, especially when you open up your family to someone, but think of it this way, she was either a viable partner or she wasn't. She has always been the wrong person for you, just so happened to take a few years for you to see it, and it is better she showed you her true colors before you guys got even more serious. She strung you along for 3 years, very likely preventing you from meeting someone during that time which could have ended up being your lifelong partner.

 

If your ex is anything like mine (a bitch), then be thankful she is gone. If she has such little regard for you that she did what she did then fu*k her. Karma will come around and get her, don't worry about trying to get even, just get ahead. Be successful and bring home the $$$, find someone who is much better than her and actually cares about you, and one day you won't even care about how your ex is, because your life will be a million times better.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

Posted
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Posted
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, I can certainly relate.

 

My ex gave me basically no indication there was trouble. We were still doing the things we always did, in fact she broke up with me the day after we returned from a vacation with my family that she joined us on.

 

That was about two weeks ago and she has, by all indications, moved on already. I'll never understand how she could do that, but for our own sanity we gotta stop asking ourselves why and just get on with it.

 

 

Sorry to hear man.. i have done the best i could do. so im through now. shes nothing to me now, i only have memories which i hope will slowly fade.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

Posted
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same thing happened to me. Do not question this. I wonder how she moved on so easily and brushed everything off...What goes around comes around. Dont worry about it. Stay in NC, you are mad right now, but you will soon feel sad again and want to call her. DO NOT give in. Better late than never with NC..now she can start to see what its like without you...although that could be months or years before she realizes. DO NOT sit on the shelf waiting for her, she may never come back.

 

There will be no waiting for her :) .. im done and theres no looking back. i will be alot happier this way.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

Posted
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I can definitely relate. My boyfriend of five years gave up because he was unhappy with my self confidence issues. He said I need to love myself before I can love others but he left me at a time where I had a lot going on. Sorry if I'm not 100% happy with my life 100% of the time. I have my down days just like everyone else. Now he is being rather cold. Deleted me from everything and refuses to speak to me. He is treating me as if I cheated on him or lied to him which is funny cause he did exactly that and I took him back and fought for the relationship. It's funny how I can move past cheating but me not handling my stress in an ideal way sends him running. I don't understand some people. But just know that there is someone out there for everyone

 

Yes there surely is .. if your bf decided it was better to leave just as my ex did without putting up a fight. then its better they left. we deserve peple who would stay and fight for us just as we would for them.. so take care :)

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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As tempting as it is to contact her, stay in NC. You are going to have some days were you feel the temptation is almost unbearable but you have to stay strong. If she wants to contact you she will, if you keep trying to make contact you will just push her further away. Silence is powerful, she will miss you at some point, whether she talks to you or not doesn't matter, she will still miss you.

 

I feel your pain. Once she told me I begged for another chance and she went on to block me on everything. Haven't made contact since. I am 2 and a half weeks NC (that she started) and at times all I want to do is message her or go and see her, but I am still trying to move on so I can make a rational decision whether I do want her back or not if she does come back (and if she doesn't, it won't matter as I will have moved on). You should do the same. Stay strong :)

 

Thank you. i willl for sure :)

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

Posted
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I can relate, but the thing is, it wasn't 'easy' for her to leave you. It just so happened that she fell out of love with you. Even so, I would not be okay with that if I were you. You have lots of things going on in your life, but you were committed and caring enough to keep the relationship going. She clearly wasn't, so let her go and for good. You deserve someone who appreciates you, and appreciates the time you were together for. My advice would to not look back on those 3 years as favourably as you do. Yeah you had some good times, but they were shared with someone who doesn't think they were good enough to stay with you. She has tainted your time together.

 

I know how hurtful it is, especially when you open up your family to someone, but think of it this way, she was either a viable partner or she wasn't. She has always been the wrong person for you, just so happened to take a few years for you to see it, and it is better she showed you her true colors before you guys got even more serious. She strung you along for 3 years, very likely preventing you from meeting someone during that time which could have ended up being your lifelong partner.

 

If your ex is anything like mine (a bitch), then be thankful she is gone. If she has such little regard for you that she did what she did then fu*k her. Karma will come around and get her, don't worry about trying to get even, just get ahead. Be successful and bring home the $$$, find someone who is much better than her and actually cares about you, and one day you won't even care about how your ex is, because your life will be a million times better.

 

Your 100% right my friend. hings did end badly because she never gave us a chance, and if she sees a life without me well fine, i will always be happy and i dont need her. she was just poison to me, we had nice times but was just a game for her and all i was to her was some company. so shes gone , and i dont want her back :)

mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

Posted
Posted

She already ran this through her social / support circles, and had also already grieved and accepted the loss of you before telling you word one. IMO, it's kinda what women do with breakups. And, if she's anything like my ex, she already had a new prospect lined up as well :(

 

Happened to many, many, many of us on here.

Seth0194 Established Member

Seth0194

Posted
Posted
This december would be 3 years me and my ex wouldve been together. she broke up with me recently saying she doesnt love me anymore and she wants different things. you would think that with almost 3 years in the bag she woudlve known what she wanted. i tried so hard and on so many occassions to get back with her. she doesnt want anything with me. i broke 2 weeks of no contact and called her, told her i missed her and stuff and she was just so normal saying she busy she has class and stuff. she said we would talk later but she never called or messaged, i still called but no answer. The hardest thing for me was knowing that all that time we spend with all the love talks, and planning together and working on our relationship, that she just brushed me off so easily and moved on with her life. she never even attempted to fight for me, or for us and what we had. just dropped our relationship like it meant nothing. and to think that i gave her all i could give, my trust, my love, openned up my family to her as well. and she threw it all away. Im happy to say im done with her completely, she will never get a call or msg from me. im just so disappointed that all that time we spent and doing everything together, she coould just drop it all like we never existed.

 

I totally know where most of you are coming from, 4 years we were together, we had a vacation planned just two weeks before she dropped the news. H^ll we had been talking about getting married for the last year even kids. It was out of the blue for me, but as someone said, I think she had been thinking and was not sharing her thoughts or feelings. When she came to the decision she did not want us any more, I am sure she had thought about it for a while but did a great job of not letting me know.

 

I am at 3 weeks of NC and it can be hard, I have moments now and then mostly at night but it gets a bit easier daily.

Itspointless Established Member

Itspointless

Posted
Posted
I totally know where most of you are coming from, 4 years we were together, we had a vacation planned just two weeks before she dropped the news. H^ll we had been talking about getting married for the last year even kids. It was out of the blue for me, but as someone said, I think she had been thinking and was not sharing her thoughts or feelings. When she came to the decision she did not want us any more, I am sure she had thought about it for a while but did a great job of not letting me know.

 

I am at 3 weeks of NC and it can be hard, I have moments now and then mostly at night but it gets a bit easier daily.

See that as a sign of weakness, as basically she did not allow you to work on it together. It takes guts to talk about insecurities but I guess that is what it takes. she clearly is not mature at that.

 

Falling of the face is of the earth is cowardly too. I am sure you can follow the logic of some of the members here that she is done with it, telling that to your heart often is another story. Grieve properly, your feelings are there to tell you things you need to listen to. If you neglect them they get stuck in our bodies and eventually cause other problems.

 

Take care.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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My ex and i were together for almost 3 years. were school lovers for 2 years.. after that things got hard because we couldnt see each other as much. i was so stupid tho. for this entire year, not once did she say i need to see you or i want to see you, i want to kiss you or hug you. she just came by me april in a prayer and we hugged and kissed a bit. she never showed interests in me and i was so stupid. this september things wouldve gotten better between us because we couldve seen each other but she broke up with me july. why was i so stupid to let her treat me like this? everytime i tried to meet her she would always hit me some excuse then say im only harassing her to meet when it cant happen. it couldve happened she just didnt want to.. all the lies came out when she broke up with me. everything she said to me was just poison, saying shed love me and want to marry me. im just tryna get this poison out of my system. sometimes i just cry and i hurts so damn much, knowing that she did this to me. even now i feel like calling her and talking to her to see if things will be diff, but nothing i can say will help and even though i loved her, she treated me too badly to get back with her. i just got blinded by love and having someone , i never had that before and im kind of a shy guy when it comes to the ladies. i just want this feeling of hurt to stop so bad. she haunts my dreams , my thoughts, everything i see or hear or smell is linked with her. it drives me crazy :( .. i just want it to stop and for me to move on from her. never know she would do this to me :( .. thats life tho.

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Posted

OP, I've read your threads about this break-up but I'm still not totally clear about what she did or how she betrayed/played you. Please correct me if I'm missing something, though. It's entirely possible that I missed something or am confusing details with other threads. You say the lies came out - which lies?

 

I read it more as though she outgrew the relationship and didn't really know how to maturely come out and tell you that. People fall out of love all the time, sadly. This is particularly true with young couples. It doesn't mean that she played you or didn't really love you at one time. It means that she realized her earlier promises weren't sustainable and that she'd had a change of heart. Just as you can't help the way you feel (ie still in love with her), she can't help the way she feels either.

 

You need to be more patient with yourself. It's only been a couple months. You will eventually feel stronger and you will find love again. You need to start taking your own power back, much of which starts by using more powerful language to describe what happened. She wasn't the one for you. She might have been a great girlfriend in the past, but times changed and she no longer was compatible for you. You are now in a position to open your heart to a girl who can make you happier than your ex could.

mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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Posted

You've come a long way, haven't you?

Charlie Harper Established Member

Charlie Harper

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i just want this feeling of hurt to stop so bad. she haunts my dreams , my thoughts, everything i see or hear or smell is linked with her. it drives me crazy :( .. i just want it to stop and for me to move on from her. never know she would do this to me :( .. thats life tho.

 

That is your EGO and its badly hurt. let go...plenty of fish in the ocean, if you value yourself, let go. see my signature?

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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The thing is guys and no lie. I'm a really weak person, I've been through a lot and it always put me down and I only have myself, no one else. So when she came into my life, she was all i had and i loved her so much. Ive never felt so loved before even tho we never did much outside school. We had a toughh year and unfortunately our relationship couldn't make it. I do miss her. I do love her. But it's over. And I have finally come to terns with it. I was thinking bout messaging her or calling her to wish her well because it truly is the end. Buy that won't be good. So I need to be a man now. Itruly wish her the best and all the happiness in the world. I need to find my own now. Thanks for the reply guys.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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That is your EGO and its badly hurt. let go...plenty of fish in the ocean, if you value yourself, let go. see my signature?

 

I know it is. I truly did love her and wanted to make this work. It can't tho so time to move on.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

Posted
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OP, I've read your threads about this break-up but I'm still not totally clear about what she did or how she betrayed/played you. Please correct me if I'm missing something, though. It's entirely possible that I missed something or am confusing details with other threads. You say the lies came out - which lies?

 

I read it more as though she outgrew the relationship and didn't really know how to maturely come out and tell you that. People fall out of love all the time, sadly. This is particularly true with young couples. It doesn't mean that she played you or didn't really love you at one time. It means that she realized her earlier promises weren't sustainable and that she'd had a change of heart. Just as you can't help the way you feel (ie still in love with her), she can't help the way she feels either.

 

You need to be more patient with yourself. It's only been a couple months. You will eventually feel stronger and you will find love again. You need to start taking your own power back, much of which starts by using more powerful language to describe what happened. She wasn't the one for you. She might have been a great girlfriend in the past, but times changed and she no longer was compatible for you. You are now in a position to open your heart to a girl who can make you happier than your ex could.

 

There was a lot. But I don't want to dwell on it. I want to move forward with my life now. That's all that matters right now.

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kevin smithy Member

kevin smithy

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You've come a long way, haven't you?

 

I really hope I have. And I wanna go further. Moving on is just very hard

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