lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hey everyone, I am 24 and my bf is 37. I like him a lot.But we have a huge issue (or it seems huge to me). Due to some circumstances, he comes over to my place and I am ok with it. Yet, he never spends the night. He can leave at 2 a.m. saying "I can't sleep and I don't want to keep you up all night." or some excuses like that. We got into a fight as I don't understand whether the problem is in me and he said "When I don't sleep well at night I get moody the next day and get headaches". Has anyone faced this kind of an issue? I don't know how to react on this
menyou Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Does he only go to your place? Have you been to his? how long is this relationship?.......is he possibly married? with that. I stay at my BF's and have to leave before the sun because i have certain responsibilities in the am. He was weird about it at first but it was true. so maybe his "excuse" is not an "excuse"?
h0000 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Do you plan to never sleep in the same bed with your future husband If no, find someone else. If you ask me this is his lame excuse.
Author lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Does he only go to your place? Have you been to his? how long is this relationship?.......is he possibly married? with that. I stay at my BF's and have to leave before the sun because i have certain responsibilities in the am. He was weird about it at first but it was true. so maybe his "excuse" is not an "excuse"? We are together for 5 months now. And he sold his house (as he is moving to another state in two weeks). So last 30 days he has been leaving at his sister's. When he had his own place all was ok and I was usually staying at his place. But he makes an issue about staying at mine. And no, he is not married. When we went camping we rented a place and he never had sleeping issues (at least I never noticed). I just really don't get it.
TunaCat Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 I don't sleep well when I'm sharing a bed. I just don't. I get overheated quickly and very uncomfortable. I sprawl on the bed so there usually isn't enough space for someone else anyway. But, when I was with my ex, I slept in the bed with him. I did it because I wanted to be close to him. I fought through my desire to sleep alone because I cared about him and I knew this was important to him. That's what your BF is not doing OP. He's not considering YOUR feelings.
edgygirl Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 If he's moving to another state in two weeks, it shouldn't really matter then. What is the plan? Long distance relationship? As a side note, the only way I can sleep with people whom I been dating for a short while is by taking sleeping pills. I find it hard to relax. Maybe there's something about your place that causes him to feel the same. We are together for 5 months now. And he sold his house (as he is moving to another state in two weeks). So last 30 days he has been leaving at his sister's. When he had his own place all was ok and I was usually staying at his place. But he makes an issue about staying at mine. And no, he is not married. When we went camping we rented a place and he never had sleeping issues (at least I never noticed). I just really don't get it.
Gaeta Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 We are together for 5 months now. And he sold his house (as he is moving to another state in two weeks). So last 30 days he has been leaving at his sister's. Have you met the 'sister'? 6
Author lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 If he's moving to another state in two weeks, it shouldn't really matter then. What is the plan? Long distance relationship? As a side note, the only way I can sleep with people whom I been dating for a short while is by taking sleeping pills. I find it hard to relax. Maybe there's something about your place that causes him to feel the same. Yes, long distance relationship. He introduced me to his parents and other members of the family. We already were in a distance relationship for 2 months and were in touch for 24/7. Sometimes I think maybe he wants to keep things casual. But why would he talk about me to all his friends and introduce me to the family? It does not make any sense to me
Author lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 Have you met the 'sister'? yes, I have met all his family members 1
Gaeta Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He was ok with sleeping next to you at his place or at an outside place. I can only see that he has a problem with your place. Is your bed comfortable? What exactly bothers him?
Author lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 He was ok with sleeping next to you at his place or at an outside place. I can only see that he has a problem with your place. Is your bed comfortable? What exactly bothers him? He can easily wake up at 4 am and say his nose is stuffed up and he can't breath well. Or he wouldn't sleep saying he had a headache, so I'd bring him advill. Today I woke up at 7 am and he was up ,lying next to me and didn't want to wake me up.
Gaeta Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Yes I once had a problem like this. I was the one who could not sleep. I was single for 10 years so when I started dating my ex-boyfriend I was unable to fall asleep next to him whether it was at my place or his. We dated 6 month and after 6 months I was still unable to fall asleep if we were together. We spent about 3 nights a week together. The following day I was very tired. After a while I decided to try some OTC sleeping pills and it helped me a lot. I am someone who needs a lot of sleep. If I don't get my 7-8 hours a sleep a night I have a hard time to function but my time with him was more important and I accepted to be tired a couple of days a week so I could be with him.
Jules Dash Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Hey everyone, I am 24 and my bf is 37. I like him a lot.But we have a huge issue (or it seems huge to me). Due to some circumstances, he comes over to my place and I am ok with it. Yet, he never spends the night. He can leave at 2 a.m. saying "I can't sleep and I don't want to keep you up all night." or some excuses like that. We got into a fight as I don't understand whether the problem is in me and he said "When I don't sleep well at night I get moody the next day and get headaches". Has anyone faced this kind of an issue? I don't know how to react on this I'm like this except I don't get moody or headaches. I just can't sleep well in whoever I am dating bed. I like to leave during the middle of the night usually. Of course it gets to a point in the relationship where you just can't leave like you used to or suffer the wrath of the woman but until I get to that point, I'm leaving by 2 or 3 am.
phineas Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 He can easily wake up at 4 am and say his nose is stuffed up and he can't breath well. Or he wouldn't sleep saying he had a headache, so I'd bring him advill. Today I woke up at 7 am and he was up ,lying next to me and didn't want to wake me up. Do you have pets? He sounds like he is allergic to something at your place or just really uncomfortable there for some reason. 1
Author lv123_go Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 nope, I don't have pets. I should probably wait and see how it goes...
thunder777 Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 sometimes i have specific requirements to help me go to sleep when im at a girls house, the pillows may be crap, the bed not right, you leave a light on, or theres some stupid noise in the background, or maybe you require somethings on when you sleep and it isnt comfortable for him ask him what is might be, ask him what the difference is from his place to your place maybe he is too nice to speak up about it, doesnt want to offend you
shet Posted September 22, 2015 Posted September 22, 2015 I can barely sleep in my own bed sometimes. In a strange one, no chance. It's troubling, because I miss out on camping, getting drunk, staying late etc. I just can't sleep in another bed. No amount of pills helps. Probably some latent mental disorder on my part. 1
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