sunshine2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Well her it goes. I was with a guy for two years. cought him cheating several times on me with his ex (they have a child together) I forgave him and threatened to leave several times. He begged me to stay and he loved me things got better until my sister and her boyfrind broke up he started asking her to come by and visit us she always seemed to be over there. needless to say we got into a huge argument one night and he asked me to move my things out. I felt everything was great before and figured something was going on again with his ex. A week after we broke up i found out my sister had been seeing him while me and him were still together and sleeping with him. they have been seeing each other for two months now. I have never loved anybody more than i loved him. My sister knew that and she always told me how bad he was for me. I feel like im dying inside. she rubs everything in my face. they dont want to talk to me and have made threats towards me. ive seen letters he has wrote her on marriage, having kids, you name it. I thought she was always there for me. I cant enjoy myself. I keep having nightmares. All i do is think about the situation and cant get it out of my mind. My family and friend tell me she is doing it out of spite and it wont last. her ex has called me and told me she has told him he keeps track of her every minute of the day and he wants too much and she is getting tired of it. I dont know what to believe. i just want her away from him. I see my sister every day and like i said it hurts. I feel if he was with another woman i would have been over it. what should i do. I am literally getting sick. I cant eat, i get no sleep, ive tried moving on, ive seen a psychiatrist, ive done everything i can think of. Im beginning to think im dying of a broken heart. I was told by everyone we were soul mates and i was the best thing that happened to him. He also told people how great of a person i was. Why is this happening to me then. Please help. Anything would help.
NursieGirl Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I'm not sure why you said that you felt "everything was great before" when you said that he had cheated on you with his ex numerous times?! That is NOT great.... Plus, now he has cheated on you AGAIN, with your own sister no less... it really does not get much worse than that... I can totally understand your getting sick... believe me, I have been there. The only thing to do now is to focus on taking care of yourself. And believe me, I know it is hard. I KNOW. I've so been there. Not in this exact situation, but in a very crappy situation, and very recently, where I was hospitalized for becoming so upset about a situation like this. The only thing to do now is to take care of yourself. Avoid these people at all costs. Go on anti-depressants if your psychiatrist offers/thinks it is a good idea. Exercise. AVOID these people. Improve yourself. By becoming so obsessed with the problems, you are only going to look weak to them, and they will probably either enjoy it, or you will start losing respect for yourself because you have let yourself appear so weak to them. Seriously, the best revenge is living well.
WithOrWithoutYou Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 1. Nice sister you have there. With family like that, who needs enemies? I know if a sibling of mine did that to me, they would probably cease to be my sibling in all but blood relation. I hope she never needs a kidney. 2. Your boyfriend is a piece of garbage and TOTALLY not worth your time. Screwing around with your sister while still with you??? I know you loved him, but there comes a point where people screw over you so much, that you have to just write off the hurt, and force yourself to move on. You need to get there, and the sooner you do, the better it will be for you. This involves going out with other people, as the only thing that will help a broken heart is to fill it with other things, like a new relationship, or even just going out with friends. her ex has called me and told me she has told him he keeps track of her every minute of the day and he wants too much and she is getting tired of it. Is your sister's ex still single? You two should really get together for drinks or coffee. Maybe he is a really nice guy. You are both dealing with all of the same things, with the same people. Worst case, maybe you end up with a new friend, and you never know! You both need some companionship, someone to talk to, and probably some sex. Why not look him up? Oh, and do not do it for this reason, but imagine how badly it would piss off your ex-BF and your ex-sister. Nice side bonus.
crazychick Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I have 4 sisters. I could not in a million gazillion years imagine what it would be like if they started dating my ex or me dating anyone of their exs. You just don't do that. Guys come and go. Your sister is your sister for gods sake! You are part of each other. The fact that she could do this to you is horrible. I am so sorry that you have to go thru this. This guy is a jerk. He obviously doesn't respect you if he is going to cheat on you over and over - and more than likely, he will cheat on her too. It's not going to last - it just sounds so destructive. But even if it does, you need to find a way to get past this. Try doing more things for yourself. Get out of the house more. Work out, take up some new hobbies, take comfort in your friends. I know all of this is hard. It is hard to get over any relationship, let alone when you have his new one thrown in your face. Just tell yourself over and over that this does not bother you, that you don't care, that you are better than all of this. 1) Because you are better than this. 2) If you tell yourself this enough, you will start to believe it. Be strong!
RecordProducer Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I feel for you, hun. Sorry to hear you're hurting like this. Things will get better soon, don't worry. Start doing something good for yourself and forget about them for a while. You're out of the picture now and that's very good. Put your profile on some dating sites and start meeting and going out with new friends. Pursue your hobbies or find something new to occupy your mind. Your ex-BF is a piece of sh*t and you'll get over him. Your sister betrayed you and she will never forgive herself once she breaks up with him. Can't you talk to her and remind her of her words that he was wrong for you? Why is he good for her then? Does she have a very low self-esteem? I think she is the one who needs a psychiatrist. Next time don't forgive cheating like you did with his ex. Spares you a lot of pain later.
RecordProducer Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by WithOrWithoutYou Nice sister you have there. With family like that, who needs enemies? Is your sister's ex still single? You two should really get together for drinks or coffee. You both need some companionship, someone to talk to, and probably some sex. Why not look him up? You're making fun of somebody's pain and it doesn't sound like you're trying to cheer her up. More like thinking to yourself "thank god, it's not happening to me!" If you can't give comfort or advice then don't put acid on somebody's wounds please!
WithOrWithoutYou Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer You're making fun of somebody's pain and it doesn't sound like you're trying to cheer her up. More like thinking to yourself "thank god, it's not happening to me!" If you can't give comfort or advice then don't put acid on somebody's wounds please! Actually, that is not what I was doing - AT ALL. And sometimes, when someone is down, a bit of levity, properly applied, is EXACTLY what one needs, especially about things that cannot be changed, but which can be dealt with in a way that lessens the pain. And actually, I WAS trying to cheer her up - and chatting with the sister's ex might do exactly that. I was actually quite serious, about getting together with the sister's ex to talk about it all, etc. And her sister is pretty horrible, you must admit. Perhaps the use of the was not the best idea, but hey, nobody is perfect 24/7, and there is no need to jump down my throat about it. I think if you look at the balance of my posts, you will find that while I occasionally do use off-color humor to help someone realize the absurdity of a situation, or to cheer someone up, I do not make fun of people's problems, and generally try to help. You may wish to take a look at your own posts, however, if you are overly concerned about sensitivity, or lack thereof. No need for me to go off on that tangent. Those who read the forums know exactly what I am talking about. But this thread isn't about me, or you, and this person does have a serious problem. I hope you haven't killed the thread and cost the poster some advice that might help, just because someone doesn't want to get involved in your flaming. If the mods want to delete this post, as well as the one from you where you called me on something that was not valid and forced me to defend myself, I have no problem with that, since this thread is not about you, or me. Have a nice day. I can drop it if you will.
RecordProducer Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 You said some unnecessary things. What I am saying is that you are not helping this girl by telling her "Nice sister you have there. With family like that, who needs enemies?" She doesn't need people to tell her that her sister is such and such, it's her sister! And she still loves her. You were not the only one who made these comments so it referred to the others as well. Sorry, I should've stated that. Themanwithnoname said a much worse thing: Your boyfriend, sister, and family all suck. And Nursie girl said that her sisters would never do such a thing. You all basically said things that would make her feel even worse than she felt before this thread. Things like this happen, it's life, the pain will go away.
ziggue Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 I remember I was at a Club once and I saw my sister's Ex there from years ago. He was cracking onto me and using the info that he knew from when he knew my sister as a way of trying to get my interest. It was a total turn off. I could never do something like that to my sister. Your sister obviously wasn't strong enough to deal with this guys advances. Just think she is going to have to deal with his Ex like you did. He is going to cheat on her like he did with you. Karma will catch up with her.
Author sunshine2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Author Posted May 20, 2005 thanks for all of your advice writting on the computer has put my mind somewhat at ease. I have sterted to meet people online that hasn't helped much, I have tried getting out hasn't helped either, And me and my sisters ex are friends and he has a girlfriend which i am also friends with. everyone just gets tired of hearing about the situation thats why i got onto this site. The good news is this computer is my new hobby. It has taken a lot off my mind. By avoiding my family and keeping my nose into the computer, with the exception of my 5 year old girl i feel it helping. when she walks into the door i type faster as if my fingers were on fire. i pay no attention to her. my other family members do it too and i know it burns her up at least i hope it does. my sister does have a low self esteem. one thing i found out is my sister is a tramp. what i didnt say is she cheated on her ex and that is why he broke up with her and also had this others baby. she has also made moves on other family men this has been new info i have found out. so i should say these to deserve each other and will be miserable together and i will move on and be happy. all of your advice will help. except for moving away from all of my family who has supported me through this crisis. they also help with my daughter and do so much for me. 1 of my sisters is the problem not everybody. Im just avoiding everyone because i need time alone and to find myself again. i think one thing that has helped me is being alone and working a lot of hours. the money is good and cant complain if i get extra. I do still love this man even with all the stuff he did. i try to remember all the bad stuff to help me through. I know the love will fade and disapear in time i just hope soon. as for me moving i plan on it soon. i need to be on my own that is something that i know will make me and my daughter feel better as well as get away from my sister. i dont think i will ever be able to forgive her - my sister. I look at her as just coming out of the same mother that gave birth to us. sisters are bound by morals, love, friendship, and trust, i will never have that with her ever again. at least i have 2 other sisters. their married and have kids and feel the same as i especially after she made the move on their men. they love their wives, my sisters, and wouldnt do anything to hurt their relationships. needles to say she is disowned by the whole family like i said before. advice helps please dont stop replying. i look forward to hearing from you again.
latida Posted May 20, 2005 Posted May 20, 2005 Originally posted by WithOrWithoutYou Is your sister's ex still single? You two should really get together for drinks or coffee. Maybe he is a really nice guy. You are both dealing with all of the same things, with the same people. Worst case, maybe you end up with a new friend, and you never know! You both need some companionship, someone to talk to, and probably some sex. Why not look him up? Oh, and do not do it for this reason, but imagine how badly it would piss off your ex-BF and your ex-sister. Nice side bonus. Count yourself lucky that they threw you away instead of eating you for dinner. And that is what they did. Your sister threw away a beautiful relationship. How foolish. Dear God. It could be worse....they could be cannibals! How in the world do you think this person could have ever been your soul-mate? Skip the sister part and go back to where he cheated on you several times running back to his ex. Was he sleeping w/ 3 women at the same time? You are deserving of a great person. That is one thing that helps me get through crappy break-ups. Just think of the type of person you really deserve. And don't give up till you meet them.
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