serate Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) She was with him for 2 years and broke up with him. She labeled him as a psycho and controlling ex and had to take counseling to leave him. She got with me 4 months after and we dated for a year. We were inseparable, lost our virginity to each other (supposedly), and fell in love hard. Throughout this time, her ex wouldnt leave her alone and constantly message her every week for the whole year. 10 months into our relationship, she bought me condoms and handcuffs for Christmas and went onto her trip to Mexico for 2 weeks with her family. Once she came back, it felt different, she was always busy and didnt come over to my place till a month after she got back. I made a move on her in bed and she stopped me, said she wanted to stop having sex for Lent. I was frustrated but I left it at that. She usually avoid conversations and so I asked her do you want 40 days or forever. She finally admitted that she now wants to wait for marriage to have sex again. I was really bothered and felt the relationship was going backwards and the fact that she wasnt completely honest. She told me that I will alway be 2nd to her behind god (shes Catholic). I told her I dont want her to feel guilty anymore and that I would give up sex for her if she would confess herself and be happy with herself going to church again. She wouldnt agree to this. I ended things 2 days after but apologized immediately when I got home (20 min) and that I would do anything for her. She was mad at me, cried like crazy the next day with me, played hot and cold, one min she wants to kiss and touch me and the next she didnt. She said that I promise never to leave her and I did it anyway and that she cant trust me. We ended up getting intimate 3 times during the next month, no sex, and she would feel guilty and blame me afterwards. She ditched me for a week during spring break, went clubbing and bars, grinded on random guys and I got mad. Told her she was a hypocrite, a scum for doing that and that I deserve better. If she was so religious, how could she do that. She said it didnt mean anything because it was a stranger and that she didnt get his number. She viewed this as "testing me". I would leave her alone for a couple days but she would always feed me breadcrumbs, making I miss you notes, wishing me goodnight because she just had to, and other things. I eventually made a note back saying "I love you" and she said it was too fast and too soon lol. I was just really fed up at this point after 2 months of her being hot and cold, I would literally do anything for her and was there when she needed me. I asked her if we could get back together and work things through but she refused and threw a fit at me. As I was walking to my car, I heard someone cursing and screaming at the car in front of them, it was her ex! I didnt know what I was thinking, I was just so broken at that time, and I asked him if we could talk, and he said "who the **** are you." I told him I was her bf and that I needed advice. He told me he had moved on and found a girl much better than my gf.Told me to give her space and just let her figure everything out. I thought everything was fine, but I knew I had to tell my gf the truth. She broke down crying and said she wanted nothing to do with me. Eventually we would get to talking again but she said she didnt trust me but ended up having sex a few times and it didnt bother her one bit. She randomly admitted that her ex broke her hymen when they were together after telling me that during their relationship, she only kissed him and refuse to let him touch her. I love her too much to care but eventually asked her if she really was a virgin. She got offended and said she have no trust in me again. At this time, her ex constantly texted her and now she responds. Bought her earrings from his trip but again she tells me hes just a friend and that it will blow over. I thought we would be able to fix everything. Summer break was about to hit us and on the last day of school, I asked her if we would be able to hang out on the weekend, she was hesitant but admitted she was going out for dinner with her ex. I message her after the weekend was over and now she wants nothing to do with me. I just left her alone for 2 months during the summer, taking her ex's "advice." She claimed she was single and that she was enjoying the single life. She wouldnt get back with me because she claims she can "never get back with an ex." I kind of figured she was spending all her time with him. Semester started again and I had a bio class with her. Finally worked up the courage to talk to her after 2 weeks of class. She admitted that she was back together with her ex and she couldnt be happier. Said she cant trust me and that she can never be with a person like me ever again. She claims that her ex and her have mature so much during their time apart. She said how dare I hurt him for talking to him and said I meant nothing to her. During our relationship, i treated her really well and always made her happy. We didnt have any arguments till this incident and it went downhill. Was I the rebound or is she rebounding with her ex? This situation just sucks and I cant eat or sleep. I keep thinking that I'm a ****ty person and that I've hurt her. I always wander back to the day of the break up, sex wasnt a big deal to me, and I just felt hurt about everything. I was a freaking virgin and sex was just a very small part of our relationship. I love her and care about her so much. I still want her back but she wants nothing to do with me. Im just a terrible person to her now. Edit: I forgot to mention that after finding out we were having problems, her ex immediately broke up with his gf who supposedly was so much better, and got back with my ex immediately Edited September 20, 2015 by serate
RIPolaris Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 She seems immature and unstable. She doesn't seem to know what she wants. Implement NC and vanish from her life. If you see her in school or class don't engage her. You asked if you were the rebound or was he...it's irrelevant. She said she could never trust you again and doesn't want anything to do with you. If and when her relationship with her ex fails (I'm positive it will), and she does try to come back to you, those same issues (of trusting you) would arise again and it wouldn't end well I know it's very hard for you right now but know that it will get better. Cyclical relationships with drastic problems such as trust and going back to other exes don't usually end well. I know it's nearly impossible right now, but try to focus on yourself. Don't dwell on it. Don't look at old pictures, her social media, etc.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Good grief, this girl is trouble. She isn't stable and she played games with you in a major way. She sounds like a very dishonest person who never really moved on from her ex, but projected her own guilt on to you to make you look like the bad guy. She isn't hurt. She's just very immature and trying to shift blame on to you to make herself feel better. And she claims her ex was the "psycho." Yeah, right.
Author serate Posted September 21, 2015 Author Posted September 21, 2015 She seems immature and unstable. She doesn't seem to know what she wants. Implement NC and vanish from her life. If you see her in school or class don't engage her. You asked if you were the rebound or was he...it's irrelevant. She said she could never trust you again and doesn't want anything to do with you. If and when her relationship with her ex fails (I'm positive it will), and she does try to come back to you, those same issues (of trusting you) would arise again and it wouldn't end well I know it's very hard for you right now but know that it will get better. Cyclical relationships with drastic problems such as trust and going back to other exes don't usually end well. I know it's nearly impossible right now, but try to focus on yourself. Don't dwell on it. Don't look at old pictures, her social media, etc. I just feel like it's a cop out. There is no reason for not trusting me. I was devoted to her and only her. I would get it if I was a terrible boyfriend but I can be honest about myself and say I was great to her. She changed the relationship and I was trying to adapt. She acted like such a brat and like the other poster said, projected her guilt on me. She's young, only 21, and I hope she will mature one day. I can see the controlling qualities that her ex had just by talking to him. She told me that she would take a picture with her friend on facebook and her ex made that friend take it off because she had shorts on. He didn't let her have any friends or social life, and constantly check up on her. Can a person like this really change?
ChicagoSparty Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Dude, drop her. You will be so thankful later. This one is not worth it.
Diezel Posted September 21, 2015 Posted September 21, 2015 Who cares? Delete her from your life permanently.
Author serate Posted September 22, 2015 Author Posted September 22, 2015 Who cares? Delete her from your life permanently. I have this feeling in my stomach and I still want her back. It hurts pretty bad.
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