Confused about NC when all I want to do is heal or see if he ends up missing me

[Angeleyez2583]

Ok here's the thing. I have been initiating NC for 5 days with my ex. Thank god he hasn't tried to contact me (cept for the IM). However, I still want him back. Everyone says NC is used to shut someone out of ur life and to heal urself. I want him to realize what he has lost, but at the same time I don't want him to forget about me.

 

 

 

I figure the NC is for : me to heal myself from him and get over him

and 2: to see if he misses me by breaking down and trying to call me or whatever.

 

If I end up getting over him and him not calling me I win. If he decides to break down and realize he misses me then I win too.

 

So how do I draw a line here?

[suegail]

I think it's good to give someone time to decide how they feel, and that's for you also of course, but it seems to me you KNOW how you feel already. You want him back, therefore you are taking a chance by doing what you're doing. I'd liken it to a game of poker, as if you're waiting to see what kind of hand he's got. It's a gamble, because absense makes the hearts of some grow fonder; others just move on and forget.

[UCFKevin]

If I end up getting over him and him not calling me I win. If he decides to break down and realize he misses me then I win too.

 

So it's about winning, is it?

 

What a selfish way to look at things.

 

If you want him back and you don't get him back, you don't win. Thought about that? What if NC dosn't work? It's not 100% guaranteed. It works for some people. Not everyone.

[loneyBird]

screw selfishness....all is fair in love and war

 

now...avoid him for a week....and see if he tries to contact you.

it worked for me

sometimes its good to take a break because it almost always gives things a fresh perspective.

just remember if you talk to him to early...it might make you go back to square one.

[Jadey]

First when mine dummped me i wos pratically begginin for him back, then i done NC, and now i just dont know. I want him back i really do. Therefore i dont think that NC is for me. But im leaving school soon and im gonna then give it afew weeks maybe even a couple months then if i feel the same way im gonna contact him. But now we see eachother eevryday he hasnt really gotten the space he probably wanted and he hasnt had time to miss me and realise wot he hasnt got because im still there in a way. So im hoping when i leave thats gonna be a shock to him, a kind of wake up call that im really not there. Then hopefully he will miss me

 

Good luck with everything babe..

[Jadey]

Maybe you should do the same? (is wot im trying to get at!)

[Angeleyez2583]

I think i win if I get over him. But yeah, after the breakup we got along really well. And after the semester was over we communicated by phone. But yeah, it is like a game of poker. And yeah, I'm just seeing if he's going to miss me, but at the same time, I am giving myself the space to get over him. If he doesn't care about me enough to call me and let me know how he's doing then I know he's completely out of my life for good.

 

I can be selfish cuz he broke up with me. His loss.

[loveisallaround]

Originally posted by Angeleyez2583

I think i win if I get over him. But yeah, after the breakup we got along really well. And after the semester was over we communicated by phone. But yeah, it is like a game of poker. And yeah, I'm just seeing if he's going to miss me, but at the same time, I am giving myself the space to get over him. If he doesn't care about me enough to call me and let me know how he's doing then I know he's completely out of my life for good.

 

I can be selfish cuz he broke up with me. His loss.

 

Your situation is very similar to mine - alright break up, some communication afterwards.

 

I'm where you are right now. If they call us, then bonus. If we never hear from them again and move on to somebody who truly deserves us - a bigger bonus.

 

We're only winners here! And escaping with our dignity.