Natalie8 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 So, i met this guy online, chatted for a week, he asked me out, was keen. An hour before the date he checked to confirm again. I got there and texted him to tell him where i was as it was a busy public place. 15 minutes later got a text that he is really sorry but left his keys and wallet in his flat and just trying to get hold of his flatmate who was out. I was annoyed and still am, texted him a 'really? Let me know when you managed to get in" I thought we were just postphoning the date. He replied a bit later that he is at a friends place now waiting for his flatmate to get home. Still no mention of resceduling.. I suggested meeting up anyway, offered to buy him a drink. Got no reply so sent a final text saying " i hope you get this sorted. It must be annoying to be locked out maybe we can meet another time. I leave that up to you. Take care". Got no reply. I wonder if he is lying and he did get there where we agreed to meet for our date but didnt like what he saw so came up with an excuse. Or he really did manage to lock himself out and felt very stupid and thats why he is not making an effort to rearrange. Am i just making excuses for him? I have never been stood up and it hurts. Also, i have lots of recent pics on my dating profile, both face and body pics and look the same in real life, havent put on weight, nor have i changed my hairstyle so dont see why he would take a sneaky look and get turned off.
lchf Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I don't think you'll know for sure, but if he wanted to meet up again he would make the effort. Don't contact again until he does. Ball's in his court. If he doesn't, it's okay, move on to the next one.
CarrieT Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 9 times out of 10 when "something like this" happened to me, it turned out the guy was really married and chickened out at the last minute. I actually had one guy text me - as I was sitting in the restaurant with a glass of wine, waiting for him - that his next door neighbor had hanged himself and he is the one who found the body. Except that I was good friends with folks who worked in that small city's police department who confirmed there were no suicides reported that day... :rolleyes::roll eyes: He cancelled for a reason. Whatever the reason was, he hasn't tried to reschedule (probably because he has a girlfriend or wife), so move on and block. Trust me. 3
katiegrl Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) So, i met this guy online, chatted for a week, he asked me out, was keen. An hour before the date he checked to confirm again. I got there and texted him to tell him where i was as it was a busy public place. 15 minutes later got a text that he is really sorry but left his keys and wallet in his flat and just trying to get hold of his flatmate who was out. I was annoyed and still am, texted him a 'really? Let me know when you managed to get in" I thought we were just postphoning the date. He replied a bit later that he is at a friends place now waiting for his flatmate to get home. Still no mention of resceduling.. I suggested meeting up anyway, offered to buy him a drink. Got no reply so sent a final text saying " i hope you get this sorted. It must be annoying to be locked out maybe we can meet another time. I leave that up to you. Take care". Got no reply. -- *** I wonder if he is lying and he did get there where we agreed to meet for our date but didnt like what he saw so came up with an excuse.*** --- Or he really did manage to lock himself out and felt very stupid and thats why he is not making an effort to rearrange. Am i just making excuses for him? I have never been stood up and it hurts. Also, i have lots of recent pics on my dating profile, both face and body pics and look the same in real life, havent put on weight, nor have i changed my hairstyle so dont see why he would take a sneaky look and get turned off. Quote in asterisk...ugh, hate to say it but yeah that's very possible. That was my first thought actually. I know both men and women who do this ..... my brother does this all the time, it is super rude! His excuse is it saves spending time with someone you know you have no physical attraction to. It's all about looks for him and those who do this. Next! Edited September 20, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Natalie8 Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks for the replies. Yes, if he wanted to rearrange he would contact me for sure. Sometimes it is easier to make up excuses for such behaviour as opposed to facing the stark reality.. :/ Wow, carrie that is a real imaginative excuse on the part of that guy.. I doubt he is married or coupled up as i did my share of fb stalking..his facebook is so open , it would be hard not to lol. Anyways, at least i only ' lost' one week.
Versacehottie Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I think he stood you up. Beyond that or reasons why I have no idea. Don't read too much into it, like he came to take a peek first and didn't like what he saw. Standing people up seems to be classic online dating stuff--no reason to assume he even made the effort to come wherever you were meeting to take a look. It's the "coincidence" coupled with the fact that he stopped answering your texts while you were still waiting. Once he came up with the excuse for not coming and you initially bought it, he got what he wanted (a way out of the date easily enough) so that's why he stopped replying. If he'd wanted to see you and the excuse was legit, there would be no reason to stop replying. Good luck going forward.
katiegrl Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I think he stood you up. Beyond that or reasons why I have no idea. Don't read too much into it, like he came to take a peek first and didn't like what he saw. Standing people up seems to be classic online dating stuff--no reason to assume he even made the effort to come wherever you were meeting to take a look. It's the "coincidence" coupled with the fact that he stopped answering your texts while you were still waiting. Once he came up with the excuse for not coming and you initially bought it, he got what he wanted (a way out of the date easily enough) so that's why he stopped replying. If he'd wanted to see you and the excuse was legit, there would be no reason to stop replying. Good luck going forward. Possibly, but if he planned to stand her up, why bother asking her for confirmation one hour prior? Makes no sense. But yeah who knows, doesn't matter... Just next... Sorry
Space Ritual Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks for the replies. Yes, if he wanted to rearrange he would contact me for sure. Sometimes it is easier to make up excuses for such behaviour as opposed to facing the stark reality.. :/ Wow, carrie that is a real imaginative excuse on the part of that guy.. I doubt he is married or coupled up as i did my share of fb stalking..his facebook is so open , it would be hard not to lol. Anyways, at least i only ' lost' one week. Don't waste your energy on this guy. It boiled down to 1 of 2 things. Either he got spooked because he may have had a fit of apprehension that he may not be what YOU expected him to be when he showed up, Or he is in fact in a relationship. I would bet on the latter. Always remember people talk a real good game when they can present themselves online in a positive life. Take FB for example. If everyone on FB had the exciting full social schedule that hey portrayed themselves to have on their FB page, then there would be no need for Social Media, since that tight social schedule would not allow them to be on FB. Bullshyt runs the gamut on Social Media So consider the guy was not what he portrayed himself to be. His excuse was way way lame. any guy that would be meeting somebody for the first time in real life that they were interested in would have dotted every I and crossed every T beforehand to make the best first impression they could. This guy did the complete opposite. You have your answer. don't waste any more time on him.
Space Ritual Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Possibly, but if he planned to stand her up, why bother asking her for confirmation one hour prior? Makes no sense. Maybe his wife came home from her business trip a day earlier than he expected? Maybe he pooped his pants at Arby's and didn't have any clean underwear at home so he decided to call it off so he could clean his arse? Whatever the reason, it stinks...
Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 So, i met this guy online, chatted for a week, he asked me out, was keen. An hour before the date he checked to confirm again. I got there and texted him to tell him where i was as it was a busy public place. 15 minutes later got a text that he is really sorry but left his keys and wallet in his flat and just trying to get hold of his flatmate who was out. I was annoyed and still am, texted him a 'really? Let me know when you managed to get in" I thought we were just postphoning the date. He replied a bit later that he is at a friends place now waiting for his flatmate to get home. Still no mention of resceduling.. I suggested meeting up anyway, offered to buy him a drink. Got no reply so sent a final text saying " i hope you get this sorted. It must be annoying to be locked out maybe we can meet another time. I leave that up to you. Take care". Got no reply. I wonder if he is lying and he did get there where we agreed to meet for our date but didnt like what he saw so came up with an excuse. Or he really did manage to lock himself out and felt very stupid and thats why he is not making an effort to rearrange. Am i just making excuses for him? I have never been stood up and it hurts. Also, i have lots of recent pics on my dating profile, both face and body pics and look the same in real life, havent put on weight, nor have i changed my hairstyle so dont see why he would take a sneaky look and get turned off. If it had been me, I would have actually locked myself out (more likely misplaced my keys) and felt extremely stupid. But then again I would have apologized profusely and rescheduled ASAP, assuming she was still interested. As to why he chose that particularly lame excuse and hasn't contacted you I really have no idea. If it makes you feel any better I am in the process of being stood up right now--no explanation, no nuthin'. Yeah, it hurts. 1
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I'm sorry but if I needed to cancel on such short notice I'd ask the date to meet me at the emergency room because that is where I'd have to be going. What is with people. And Smitten hope they are just running late!
Author Natalie8 Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Smitten, i hope your 'story' will have a better ending. Fingers crossed for you! No, i havent blocked him but deleted his number. And again, thanks for the replies guys. I feel better now. 1
jen1447 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 It's also possible he just has no balls, if that makes you feel any better too.
Maggie4 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 What a jerk! I don't care if he locked himself out or not, a decent guy does not leave a woman waiting! He got to his friend's place and he did not get a ride to come to you. You don't need to know if he lied or not, you already know what he handled it, and that's enough to write him off.
SoftViolin Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Wow what a tool! Yeah, what others have said - don't give him a second more of your time thinking about him. Also - my theory would be he showed up, saw you were way out of his league and spared himself the humiliation! Goes hand in hand with Jen's theory 2
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