Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Maybe men do it too, I don't know, but if they do, that would also be interesting to hear about... So, when you're on a date with a woman you've met online, why do they show you profiles and messages from other men? It seems irrelevant to me. Or am I completely clueless and this is just something that people do? And a side question: Does EVERYONE text during dates now?
Redhead14 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Maybe men do it too, I don't know, but if they do, that would also be interesting to hear about... So, when you're on a date with a woman you've met online, why do they show you profiles and messages from other men? It seems irrelevant to me. Or am I completely clueless and this is just something that people do? And a side question: Does EVERYONE text during dates now? No, i can't imagine a reason for showing messages/profiles from other men to a date. Except as an immature ploy to make the current date feel that they are desirable and to cause some jealousy. And, no. Texting on a date is rude and immature unless it's some emergency. A man or a woman should give his/her full attention to the date they are on. 6
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 No. That is just a mindless thing to do. More than one woman has done this with you on a date?? Texting during a date is rude but the profile sharing is pretty low. 2
losangelena Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Maybe men do it too, I don't know, but if they do, that would also be interesting to hear about... So, when you're on a date with a woman you've met online, why do they show you profiles and messages from other men? It seems irrelevant to me. Or am I completely clueless and this is just something that people do? And a side question: Does EVERYONE text during dates now? Lol, what? How often has the happened to you, OP? Unless y'all are commiserating on the state of online dating, or poking fun at some of the outrageous messages you've received, I would consider this kind of behavior very rude. Sheesh! What gives? 1
J21 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Nobody has ever done that to me, and I've never done that to anybody else. It's classless and showing off like "look how many people like meeeeeeeeeeeee" 2
rocketman122 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 never had that and ive been on many dates. I date single moms so if they have to check up in the kids with text, I have no issue. other than that I never had a woman take a call or text anyone else.
BlueBlood Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Weird. That'd be like telling your date how every man she meets asks her out. Awkward, needy, probably bs, and a flag in a crimson hue for sure. As for texting? Not unless it's emergency/child care problem related, otherwise I never did it. If it was a child related emergency I would stop texting and call (for instance if the babysitter said my child had started running a temp or throwing up) and then I'd have politely but quickly left the date. Sick child always > date night time. Otherwise my other dating partners, like my phone, stayed under wraps. Anything else is at best annoying and at worst flat out dismissive and disrespectful.
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks everyone, that's encouraging. I thought I might be missing something. No. That is just a mindless thing to do. More than one woman has done this with you on a date?? Texting during a date is rude but the profile sharing is pretty low. Yeah, I agree. I sometimes wonder how many times my messages and profiles have gotten a good laugh. Lol, what? How often has the happened to you, OP? "Lol, what?" Haha. I've only met in person four women I met online, but two of them broke out the smartphone. Three of them texted, and often. Unless y'all are commiserating on the state of online dating, or poking fun at some of the outrageous messages you've received, I would consider this kind of behavior very rude. There's been some commiserating, but I was surprised when it went from general frustration with online dating to viewing specific profiles. Sheesh! What gives? I have no idea; On-line dating is exhausting and confusing.
rocketman122 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Weird. That'd be like telling your date how every man she meets asks her out. Awkward, needy, probably bs, and a flag in a crimson hue for sure. As for texting? Not unless it's emergency/child care problem related, otherwise I never did it. If it was a child related emergency I would stop texting and call (for instance if the babysitter said my child had started running a temp or throwing up) and then I'd have politely but quickly left the date. Sick child always > date night time. Otherwise my other dating partners, like my phone, stayed under wraps. Anything else is at best annoying and at worst flat out dismissive and disrespectful. you have a good excuse there for dates that dont go well. you dont even need a wingman.
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Nobody has ever done that to me, and I've never done that to anybody else. It's classless and showing off like "look how many people like meeeeeeeeeeeee" One woman showed me that she had received over 600 messages from hundreds of men. It does seem classless, which is why I was confused because she was classy in every other way that I could see. 1
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 One woman showed me that she had received over 600 messages from hundreds of men. It does seem classless, which is why I was confused because she was classy in every other way that I could see. Gee, that's definitely the wrong approach to letting someone know they chose you out of 600 other suitors. Lol what a dope.
GemmaUK Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 One man I dated did this. It was just another one of the reasons I only dated him so briefly. Sadly he was the worst at breaking up and hounded me for 4 years afterwards....attention seeker me thinks... OP, if they ever do this again just end the date, move right along. It's pathetic, rude and shows they are narcissistic!
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 One man I dated did this. It was just another one of the reasons I only dated him so briefly. Sadly he was the worst at breaking up and hounded me for 4 years afterwards....attention seeker me thinks... OP, if they ever do this again just end the date, move right along. It's pathetic, rude and shows they are narcissistic! 4 years??!! Wonder if he texted you while on other dates during that time haha
LostOnes05 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Never had that happen. If a woman showed me other men's profiles on a date, I'd pay my part of the check and politely leave. If she had a child, I'd completely understand the need to be in constant contact with a caregiver.
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 One man I dated did this. It was just another one of the reasons I only dated him so briefly. Sadly he was the worst at breaking up and hounded me for 4 years afterwards....attention seeker me thinks... OP, if they ever do this again just end the date, move right along. It's pathetic, rude and shows they are narcissistic! menyou beat me to it: Four years?! Holy... Did you figure out a way to get rid of him or did he finally just give up? Your comment just made me wonder if online daters are disproportionately narcissistic...hmmm. Of course it's possible that I'm just good at attracting them.
Maharishi Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 If they are teenagers I guess this is reasonably "normal" behaviour
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 menyou beat me to it: Four years?! Holy... Did you figure out a way to get rid of him or did he finally just give up? Your comment just made me wonder if online daters are disproportionately narcissistic...hmmm. Of course it's possible that I'm just good at attracting them. Smitten, don't look at OLD that way, after all, you are one of them. Lol I believe that society today is just this way. Sad but true. Just have to dig through the muck to find something good. 3
TheBathWater Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) Maybe men do it too, I don't know, but if they do, that would also be interesting to hear about... So, when you're on a date with a woman you've met online, why do they show you profiles and messages from other men? It seems irrelevant to me. Or am I completely clueless and this is just something that people do? And a side question: Does EVERYONE text during dates now? I have been on TONS (maybe hundreds) of online dates, and I've never had someone show me their messages while out together. If they did, I would say very calmly: "Well, we obviously have different ideas about what courtesy and respect means", get up, and leave. I have had women text while on a date with me. I used to bite my tongue, but not these days. I'll say, all serious and as if they're doing something disgusting: "Are you...texting?!?" . Usually, they apologize and put the phone away. If it persists, I'll be more direct and ask if this is how they normally date - by not being fully present. This works for me. What I do experience more and more, however, is women mentioning ex-boyfriends or previous daters every half hour or so. I interpret this behavior as them either still being hung up on someone else, being insecure and having to "prove" their desirability, or telling me they are not interested in me. I address this right away now too. Last week, I went on a date with a woman who was doing this, and a couple of times she mentioned how frustrated she was that guys from OLD seemed to enjoy their time with her but then never follow up or ask her out again. I shot point blank and told her if she is doing with them what she is doing with me (talking about exes often), I could understand why. Her jaw dropped. People have become way too narcissistic and have little respect for others. Do not tolerate second class behavior from a woman on a date. Things like texting, talking about how ridiculous some messages can be (not showing them), and mentioning exes, are bound to happen at some point and it's fine when put in context or in moderation. But when it happens up front at the beginning - the time when you are supposed to be present with and showing interest in each other to plant the seeds of your connection - I say we call bull**** and walk away. Edited September 20, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine 3
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Smitten, don't look at OLD that way, after all, you are one of them. Lol I believe that society today is just this way. Sad but true. Just have to dig through the muck to find something good. Haha at first I thought you were saying I'm old and out of touch with modern society. You might as well have been because it's probably true.
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 I have been on TONS (maybe hundreds) of online dates, and I've never had someone show me their messages while out together. If they did, I would say very calmly: "Well, we obviously have different ideas about what courtesy and respect means", get up, and leave. I have had women text while on a date with me. I used to bite my tongue, but not these days. I'll say, all serious and as if they're doing something disgusting: "Are you...texting?!?" . Usually, they apologize and put the phone away. If it persists, I'll be more direct and ask if this is how they normally date - by not being fully present. This works for me. What I do experience more and more, however, is women mentioning ex-boyfriends or previous daters every half hour or so. I interpret this behavior as them either still being hung up on someone else, being insecure and having to "prove" their desirability, or telling me they are not interested in me. I address this right away now too. Last week, I went on a date with a woman who was doing this, and a couple of times she mentioned how frustrated she was that guys from OLD seemed to enjoy their time with her but then never follow up or ask her out again. I shot point blank and told her if she is doing with them what she is doing with me (talking about exes often), I could understand why. Her jaw dropped. People have become way too narcissistic and have little respect for others. Do not tolerate second class behavior from a woman on a date. Things like texting, talking about how ridiculous some messages can be (not showing them), and mentioning exes, are bound to happen at some point and it's fine when put in context or in moderation. But when it happens up front at the beginning - the time when you are supposed to be present with and showing interest in each other to plant the seeds of your connection - I say we call bull**** and walk away. As someone with very little OLD experience (how little? I just learned that OLD is an acronym) I appreciate your reply. Your attitude towards dating behavior makes a lot of sense. I suppose, as menyou put it, I just have to be prepared to dig through a lot of muck to find someone worthwhile.
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Haha at first I thought you were saying I'm old and out of touch with modern society. You might as well have been because it's probably true. Haha! No! But if someone you meet from OLD says that. Move on. 1
craw Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Maybe you should keep a Google image of a hot chick, then pull up on your phone and say "I tap that last night". Women LOVED being compared to other women. (NO) Hold the phone up to her face and say "oh you might be 6 compared to her". LOL Omg don't do any of these things. LOLOLOL. 3
Author Smitten and Bitten Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Maybe you should keep a Google image of a hot chick, then pull up on your phone and say "I tap that last night". Women LOVED being compared to other women. (NO) Hold the phone up to her face and say "oh you might be 6 compared to her". LOL Omg don't do any of these things. LOLOLOL. But I do that on all my first dates. Sometimes I even do it when I'm not on a date. In the grocery store or doctor's waiting room, for example. I'm going to have to rethink this... 4
menyou Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 But I do that on all my first dates. Sometimes I even do it when I'm not on a date. In the grocery store or doctor's waiting room, for example. I'm going to have to rethink this... This thread is hysterical. Hope you are laughing, too:lmao:
Buddhist Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 One woman showed me that she had received over 600 messages from hundreds of men. It does seem classless, which is why I was confused because she was classy in every other way that I could see. You might think she's classy but she's definately not clever, pass. Dumb bunnies aren't fun for the long haul.
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