Hell Yeah Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Hello just interested what people's experiences of breakups with women that have kids? Did you fall in love with the kids? Who did you miss more, the ex or the kids? Did the the kids reach out to you? Would you have a relationship like that again? Personally for me (my current ex and breakup), the ex's kids are my strongest heart break out of the breakup. It's insane that I've only known these kids personally for 1 year but as i spent around 3 days a week with them every week, its impossible not to get attached and fall in love with them Their Dad is a piece of s**t and they rarely see him, so i tried to make as many good memories for them as possible. Even my ex's family would say how lovely i am to them and that I'm more of a Dad to them than their own Dad has been in 11 years!!. That was within 6 weeks of being around them!!! I was just being myself which felt good. I never disrespected their Dad to them. Took them out all the time, helped with home work, went on holidays, took them out by myself (without the Mum) for shopping clothes etc, days out with my own kids. This was encouraged a lot from my ex who would tell me the hardships those kids emotionally go through with their Father so naturally i wanted to provide for them and care for them. I wanted those kids to be happy. I spoke to either kids pretty much everyday when i wasn't with them just talking silly things, planning stuff coming up. The youngest especially i think saw me as their Dad and was always excited about me coming round, would always hang out with me and cuddle with me when the 4 of us were watching TV etc. She was especially affected by her Dad emotionally and i could sense that, so I always took her under my wing. Her Mum (my ex) would always tell me how her youngest was neglected emotionally by her Dad, and that the things i did for her was alien for her etc so it just fueled me more to protect them more and do the things i did for them especially the youngest. She would always choose me over anyone else even her Mum!! Which i would always try and discourage, there was a lot of drama in that household...... I treated those kids as my own, loved them as my own and still do that's why this is the hardest breakup i have gone through. My kids got on especially well with them and spent a lot of time with them also and now they are really sad they don't get to see them any more. I have my own precious kids who i put all my focus on and love towards but its still really hard. The kids have reached out to me a few times and recently, and i have responded but have told them that i have to respect their Mums wishes Miss those kids everyday your thoughts and experiences please? thanks
thunder777 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 yeah i had a 3 year relationship with a girl who had 2 kids, not my most recent break up at first i was just seeing the mother, and it never hit me that i was actually a father figure to the kids, until the mum told me off for not doing certain things by the end of it i was very much the 5 year old girls dad and i was all she knew. the 10 year old had a dad but he too was an idiot like yours who was never really there when the relationship ended i hadnt just lost my woman (i walked out first, but she wouldnt let me come back) i had also lost what were now my kids, and it was sheer devastation being someone at the time living now alone & in isolation such as a week after we broke up was her first day in school fortunately for you, you have children and they come first, even if you never get laid again, you have their beautiful existence by your side and thats great youll have a void for a long time mate, and always wonder how they are going. and thats cos they were important to you 1
Author Hell Yeah Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 fortunately for you, you have children and they come first, even if you never get laid again, you have their beautiful existence by your side and thats great youll have a void for a long time mate, and always wonder how they are going. and thats cos they were important to you appreciated that comment mate, that hits home You understand also which is appreciated, my family and friends have never been involved in a relationship like this so its hard to empathize The comment about starting school rings a bell, as I bought quite a bit of school gear for the oldest for this months term. It was hard not hearing about her first day, how she felt but i have to get used to not being a part of their life's anymore Baggage is collected from experiences, its how we sort through it and put it away that counts. Some people just do know where to start and sweep it up underneath the carpet.....until it becomes noticeable and impacts everything
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