JS17 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 My friends and I have been talking about this a lot lately and we're not able to come up with an answer so I thought I'd pose this question on LS. When you're in a new relationship, how often is too often to see the person that you're dating?
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 When you're in a new relationship, how often is too often to see the person that you're dating? Here are my rules for freq of contact with a new person, JS17. For first two month see them once per week. If this works then after two months you can see them 2 or 3x per week. After you've been together for 4 or 5 months then at most 4 times per week. If you are living apart and dating someone you should never see them more than 4x per wk. That is what living together or getting married is for. Keeping your own life and independence is very impt. i always laugh hard when couples that have been dating one month tell me they see each other 6 out of 7 nites per week.
Illusion24 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Keeping your own life and independence is very impt. I've learned that now...so true. Don't forget where and who you were before them that's what made them fall for you in the first place!!
Bubbles Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Yuck, yuck yuck......I could NEVER see some-one 6 or 7 times a week EVER again!!!!! I guess I'm settled.......I enjoy MY life too much. I think though.....maybe 3 times a week is good enough and YES that should include a week-end night...preferrably Saturday. bubbles
Author JS17 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 I am in a fairly new relationship and one of my friends is in a fairly new relationship and we've all been talking numbers. We all know it's so important to maintain your life but what we can't answer are things like, is it ok to see someone twice a week in the beginning? and the difference between seeing each other for an overnighter versus something like dinner out? I'm kind of with alphamale on this. Personally, my question is the can you see someone twice a week in the beginning.
Bubbles Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Yes....but if you wish for that person to know that you are exclusive to her? Make one of those nights a Saturday. bubbles
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 Personally, my question is the can you see someone twice a week in the beginning. no you cannot because you get too close too quick. for the first 6 to 8 wks contact should be only once per week. this also gives you time to digest what the other person is all about and reduces the stress factors. this is very impt. in addition you don't want to come off as too desperate in the beginning and u want to show you are independent and have your own life and are not too "available".
Jennifer'sSecret Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by JS17 I'm kind of with alphamale on this. Personally, my question is the can you see someone twice a week in the beginning. Of course you can! Alphamale's "equation" for how often you "can" see someone is just silly. But I also agree with Bubbles - if you want her to think that you intend on seeing her and only her, then you gotta include a Saturday. To give up a critical, usually social weekend night for a girl is to express your desire to be with her, and a weeknight shows you want to include her in your day-to-day life. I personally think that 2-3x a week is ideal in the beginning..such as letting a complete 2 to 3 days pass between seeing each other.
Author JS17 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 since it keeps coming up, i'm just letting you all know that I'm female my friends that i've been talking with are female also.
curiousnycgirl Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I'm with Alpha on this one - relationships should start out slow and easy. Intermitancy )sp?) is key at this stage. Although I don't believe in a set formula on when it goes beyond 1X a week and beyond, I do however agree more than 4X a week and you're married! Doesn't it strike you how the relationships that start out with such a mad rush are the ones that also fizzle fast?
varactor Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 great topic, alpha male is absolutley right, my first long term relationship, it moved way to quick, within 3 months we were living togther it lasted for 4.5 years, but its over now, and i realized i lost myself in those years, so here i am lonley, and starting all over. never loose yourself in a relationship. im starting to date again, and i keep it to once or twice a week in the beginning, and try not to talk too often on the phone. its tough when your lonley, but to be in a healty relationship, its essential. you need time for your family, friends, and yourself give up too much of that, and you will learn the hardway like i did. best of luck to you all,
leeroy1985 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Well i see my girlfriend about 3 times a week and that includes friday night (saturdays the lads night) and ive only been with her 2wk! (ive been her friend for about a year before hand though and saw her just as much) Is this too much too soon? and what about phoning her? She always asks me to phone her (even after ive been with her that day) so i fone her almost every night for about 1/2 hour.... too much?
JanieQP Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 I don't want to see someone more than twice a week unless we're living together, but that's just me. I presume there'll be a couple of e-mails or phone calls during the week working out logistics and chatting if there's been something big (job interview etc.). Wish more guys thought like Alph .. I attract the ones who want multiple contacts daily.
alphamale Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by curiousnycgirl I'm with Alpha on this one - relationships should start out slow and easy. Doesn't it strike you how the relationships that start out with such a mad rush are the ones that also fizzle fast? ain't that the truth, CURIOUSNYCGURL?!
Pendawn Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by JanieQP I don't want to see someone more than twice a week unless we're living together, but that's just me. I presume there'll be a couple of e-mails or phone calls during the week working out logistics and chatting if there's been something big (job interview etc.). Wish more guys thought like Alph .. I attract the ones who want multiple contacts daily. You know what, i think a lot of people seem to attract the opposite of what they'd like! I'm a bit like Janie now. My first relationship from day one we saw each other at least 4 times a week, and i got a) bored and b) irritated cos I couldn't get caught up with stuff i had to do. Now I'm seeing my guy 1-2 times a week, with the odd text message and a phone call or two in between. i think that's enough (for me) until the 'ship turns really serious.
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