notveryhappyrn Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 My girlfriend (both 23) left me two months ago and I have been trying my best to improve my life and confidence ever since then. she broke up with me through a text message which I admit is pretty cowardly, but I also think it's because she felt seeing me in person would make it too hard to leave. We were kissing and hugging days before, until we got into a small fight however we had been fighting more often as we were both stressed with other factors of work and business. While its kind of twisted, her not having the courage to see me gives me hope that there is another chance to be with her, for example if she hated me she would have no problem coming to see me and cus me out. we haven't spoken or seen each other since two days before we broke up so it's been about two months. She text me about two weeks after we broken up to retrieve her things . she had her girl friend pick them up so still no actual meet up or talk since the text breakup. she requested that we continue no contact after she got her things which I have listened to. I included a handwritten letter so that she could read my feelings since she didn't want to talk. I haven't heard from her and I know that the normal no contact time is 30 days at most 45 days, which has been over that. So is there still a chance that I can work things out with her ? we dated for about a year and I was her first real love. What are some things that I can do ?she knows that seeing me will make it hard for her so I'm assuming she won't want to see me. should I reach out to her now or should I continue to wait until she text me? I don't necessarily want her to get over me as I'm not over her but at the same time I don't want to appear needy or not give her enough space. Please give me some words of advice, I haven't felt such a connection when anyone but her. While I assume a lot of you may just tell me its over move on, or you're both young move on... I have heard these and would appreciate actual tips or strategies to get her back. Thanks in Advance.
kassy Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 You are assuming she won't contact you as it would be hard for her... But maybe she is doing it because it would be hard for you. It sounds like she has well and truly moved on and wants nothing to do with you. It's hard to move on but you really should. She doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't want contact with you. She may already be dating someone else. My advise, forget her and go have some fun hanging with the boys, doing things you enjoy or even possibly dating if you feel up to it. Not what you wanted to hear, but I hope you try and take on board the advice
Author notveryhappyrn Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 You are assuming she won't contact you as it would be hard for her... But maybe she is doing it because it would be hard for you. It sounds like she has well and truly moved on and wants nothing to do with you. It's hard to move on but you really should. She doesn't want to be with you. She doesn't want contact with you. She may already be dating someone else. My advise, forget her and go have some fun hanging with the boys, doing things you enjoy or even possibly dating if you feel up to it. Not what you wanted to hear, but I hope you try and take on board the advice Even if these things are the case, I am asking if there is a way or possibility to change this? For instance, contacting her?
Draper Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I don't know man You're options are either move on or try to get back with her, right? I tend to think not contacting her is the best route for either of those (i know, it's already been awhile). The only way she wants you back is if she misses you. The only way she misses you is if you aren't there. It'll be up to you if you want to contact her or not but personally I've never seen anyone have much luck convincing someone to love them with words alone. I wouldn't get hung up on 30 or 45 days. Nobody has it down to a science, and every relationship is different. If she's ever going to decide she wants you back, it could take days, weeks, months, years. That's why I don't see much point in holding onto hope that she does come back. You focus on moving on and if she ever comes back, you cross that bridge when it comes. I know it's a lot easier for me to say that than it is for you to do it, trust me I find myself hoping my ex comes back everyday. In time we'll both be okay, but in the present we can't put our lives on hold waiting for someone who walked out to walk back in 1
Author notveryhappyrn Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 I don't know man You're options are either move on or try to get back with her, right? I tend to think not contacting her is the best route for either of those (i know, it's already been awhile). The only way she wants you back is if she misses you. The only way she misses you is if you aren't there. It'll be up to you if you want to contact her or not but personally I've never seen anyone have much luck convincing someone to love them with words alone. I wouldn't get hung up on 30 or 45 days. Nobody has it down to a science, and every relationship is different. If she's ever going to decide she wants you back, it could take days, weeks, months, years. That's why I don't see much point in holding onto hope that she does come back. You focus on moving on and if she ever comes back, you cross that bridge when it comes. I know it's a lot easier for me to say that than it is for you to do it, trust me I find myself hoping my ex comes back everyday. In time we'll both be okay, but in the present we can't put our lives on hold waiting for someone who walked out to walk back in So true. Thank you for the advice.
hunk Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 No, there is absolutely zero you can do to influence her feelings of wanting to reconcile. All you can do is push her away. Her wanting to get back with you has to come from her and there's nothing you can do. Never contact her again, assume she is dead. Even a simple polite text message from your side will push her extremely far away. Everything you do right now will reek of neediness, insecurity and desperation. Do not contact her EVER again. Grieve the relationship and then carry on with your life. This is all you can do and all anyone should do when they've been dumped.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I don't know man You're options are either move on or try to get back with her, right? I tend to think not contacting her is the best route for either of those (i know, it's already been awhile). The only way she wants you back is if she misses you. The only way she misses you is if you aren't there. It'll be up to you if you want to contact her or not but personally I've never seen anyone have much luck convincing someone to love them with words alone. I wouldn't get hung up on 30 or 45 days. Nobody has it down to a science, and every relationship is different. If she's ever going to decide she wants you back, it could take days, weeks, months, years. That's why I don't see much point in holding onto hope that she does come back. You focus on moving on and if she ever comes back, you cross that bridge when it comes. I know it's a lot easier for me to say that than it is for you to do it, trust me I find myself hoping my ex comes back everyday. In time we'll both be okay, but in the present we can't put our lives on hold waiting for someone who walked out to walk back in Well said. Don't hope for your ex to come back. If you were fired from a job would you wait by your phone hoping they call back? Same thing here.
Recommended Posts