noname Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart I think that's a bit of an exageration. If a guy is shattered because he can't make his girlfriend orgasm does not mean he is unstable and should seek counselling. Men already have an obsession with their size or lack there of which, in most cases and with the exception of some talk shows, are not dnied by the general population. Society continue to push size is everything, whether right or wrong. * i hear you on this one. i was exaggerating (a little on purpose to make my point) institutionalized was a harsh word. my point is just that she may overestimating the effect. if i can't bring a woman to that, sure i'll be a little dissapointing and i will wonder what i didn't do right, but it would not damage my dignity. and if it went as far as that, then i have some issues to take care of, whether they are socially or self induced. now, don't get me wrong, i do not claim to be an authority and will not generanalize every man with myself, but we have to get rid of a lot of the type of mentality that you discuss further in your comment someday or we are going to always get it wrong. that is where honesty and counseling can help. sorry about the exaggeration but she needs to understand that a little honesty strategically placed (to someone who has asked a question) may not necessarily damage him for life... * Making an women orgasm is perceived as another test of manhood, however inappropriate. For a man to hear that his his women hasn't orgasmed, especially if its more than just a booty call, can have a profound affect. Knocks you down a peg and lowers yourself worth. *agree with nearly everything you say here. second part can in fact happen but it depends on the man's state of mind and the way the woman handles it...* Well I group tis in the same category as the answer to the question "Do I look fat in this dress?" There are more subtle ways to get to what you need than being blunt, in both this case. I little compassion may be required and therefore may require a little fibbing. As long as the issue is addressed, the direct approach may not be needed. *you may mistake me here. i don't mean being rude. merely telling him that she did not and explaining either what does it for her or that she may not be able to acheive period. but what exactly is the purpose of her lying to him? he does the same next time, she lies again, then she eventually ends up getting frustrated and tells him that she lied the whole time. that is a little more damaging i would think than a compassionate explanation from day one. * See this is part of the problem. This approach is telling us that we got an C on an assigment, and teacher wants us to do it over again because she thought we were lazy. Not good for the ego, no matter what sex you are. *that is where your compassion comes in. some teachers want you to redo the assignment to further your education and will actually help you with it. and in the long run building up your knowledge and confidence so that you can tackle later assignments... *
st8toftheheart Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by noname *that is where your compassion comes in. some teachers want you to redo the assignment to further your education and will actually help you with it. and in the long run building up your knowledge and confidence so that you can tackle later assignments... * I'll agree with you. But that is not an easy skill to aquire. I haven't met alot of women who can break that sort of news to a man and be able to have him leave more determine or good about himself. Its a double edged sword really.
prisoner Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 that thing at fairs with the hammer and the bell oinb top. hit it hard enough, the bell rings. people feel strong? then an eight year old makes the bell ring and the linebacker feels like a fool? that's why. we men have been taught that sex has a lot to do with how we do. it is a test. it will be graded. there is no curve. She's Having a Baby has that great sequence. Too bad about Elizabeth McGovern. Anyway, it is an incredibly forked road. over too quickly and there is a multi billion dollar pharmaceutical industry and endless spam to help. take too long and the woman's ego is damaged (sometimes beyond repair). somewhere in between the road still travelled there are a hundred different ways it can all go. I heard something once on this: the question was, what would women TEACH men, if they thought it would get through. the overwhelming response was RETEACH the attitude toward sex and orgasms and sharing and communal pleasure and more sharing and the concept of five minuts after and five minutes before. men ask because we are forced to ask by the same thing that makes us not understand what can be so annoying about professional sports. we are taught these things. we all are.
noname Posted May 19, 2005 Posted May 19, 2005 Originally posted by st8toftheheart I'll agree with you. But that is not an easy skill to aquire. I haven't met alot of women who can break that sort of news to a man and be able to have him leave more determine or good about himself. Its a double edged sword really. exactly. not easy at all, for either sex. think about how many better relationships there would be if people tried though... i'd love to live in that world...
Recommended Posts