IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Why do guys feel the need to ask a girl how many times she came? Like I'm gonna tell you the truth and shatter your dignity by telling you none? Is it an ego thing? "So Baby, Uh huh, UUHHH so how many times did you cum, Uhh HuH?" (in the voice of Bevis) "Not sure, lost count"........vague yet nice. Why do guys feel the need to ask? Would guys want to know if you gave me one or none?
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 cause men are results oriented. we want to know if we pleased you or if we were satisfactory. i usually ask if she came or not, now i think about it its sorta dumb. also, there is no visual clue to a woman orgasming like there is when a man shoot his load all over the place
tiki Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I've never had a man ask. Every man that I'm intimate with is sure to know that I haven't had a vaginal O. Now my clitoral O's....well, that's another story. There's no mistaking when that happens.
st8toftheheart Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I ask to feed my own ego. That actually sounds worse than it is. We are somewhat results oriented as alpha so aptly put. Because failure in this area makes us less of man, atleast in societies eyes. You can make your women come there's something wrong with you or you suck in bed. Through in some penis size banter and you have one self conscious dude. I cast myself among them.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Now what would you guys do if she said none? You would probably either f*** her again to try to get her to or kick her out!
st8toftheheart Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Now what would you guys do if she said none? You would probably either f*** her again to try to get her to or kick her out! If he was smart he'd ask, "so what can I do to help you achive it"? But in my case, I would sulk, go into a depression and be miserable until such time she broke up with me.
alphamale Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue Now what would you guys do if she said none? i'd be like...."OK....let's zonk out" ,meaning go to sleep.
TUDOR Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 If it is new relationship he might be learning what does it for you. He is looking to see if any of his grand performance did the trick or if he was barking up the wrong tree. My advice....when you are going at it and you do cum...tell him right then that you are so he will know and avoid the question later. Besides guys love to hear you tell them you are getting off while you are!!!
noname Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 not just results oriented or merely ego, although those may be big factors... but men also like to please. to give pleasure. his attempt may be a slightly less evolved way of saying "i like you and would like to know how to make you feel better. help me out." your post sounded a little bitter. that throws me off a little because there are so many women who are asking why men don't care to please anyone else but themselves. think about it as if he is just trying to figure you out. you might feel little more flattered instead of upset. there are a lot of guys out there that don't give a s**t, and many more women who wished they would...
laRubiaBonita Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie Because they usually can't tell. LOL!!! sometimes i think...well that one felt really goood, but did i "Cum-cum" or was it just a mini orgasm? so sometimes....I am not quite sure, plus if it sex that great where i cum more than 2 times.....i really would not be keeping track! but my bf ask's me this too.....i just re-tort "and just once for you?"
faux Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Maybe some men ask because they want to know if the woman enjoyed the experience. I just ask my girlfriend if she is enjoying herself. When she feels that she is satisfied, she tells me that I can finish up. If something is off and it isn't going to happen, she lets me know she's enjoyed it as much as she can, and lets me know I can finish off. She doesn't always orgasm from vaginal intercourse, but I make up for it in other ways.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale i'd be like...."OK....let's zonk out" ,meaning go to sleep. I highly doubt that, espically since you have this "f*** a bitch" attitude.
WhereSpiritsRoam Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 The first and only time I ever asked my ex that, she said, "When I cum, you'll know it!" and I never had to guess again. I think a lot of guys would prefer someone like that because we really don't enjoy having to ask. I don't miss her attitude, but I do miss her in the bedroom - the drought is now 8 long months.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 cause men are results oriented. Very true. I think sometimes we guys have to stop and think, "hmm, instead of just jackhammering away without noticing the bored look in her eye, maybe I'll make sure she cums too." I.e. take responsibility and ownership of the woman's orgasm as well. There's no satisfaction as great as the satisfaction of a job well done.
dgiirl Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by WhereSpiritsRoam The first and only time I ever asked my ex that, she said, "When I cum, you'll know it!" and I never had to guess again. I think a lot of guys would prefer someone like that because we really don't enjoy having to ask. I don't miss her attitude, but I do miss her in the bedroom - the drought is now 8 long months. It should be obvious. I dont know how it couldnt be. If she's not, she should eventually get frustrated and tell you how to please her. (Unless she's never been pleased before ) But keep in mind, when she does try to communicate, she might not know the right words and you shouldnt take it personally Try to understand it's intimidating for her to ask too.
Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted May 17, 2005 Author Posted May 17, 2005 But i just can't see myself saying to a guy after he just worked his hardest "Yeah, I had none" Totally shattered any ego trip he had, dignity, anything.... Now another question How may women here have lied and said 3!? Pay attention to the answers gentlemen!
TUDOR Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue [/i How may women here have lied and said 3!? Pay attention to the answers gentlemen! Why lie about it at all? This doesn't do either of you any good in the long run. He will think what ever he was doing is what it takes to get you off because you told him so. He will keep doing the same thing as a result which means you aren't going to get off. Vicious cycle!
dgiirl Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue But i just can't see myself saying to a guy after he just worked his hardest "Yeah, I had none" Totally shattered any ego trip he had, dignity, anything.... Maybe I'm weird, but I dont see the need to orgasm _every_ time either. It's the intimacy that you're trying to achieve. Sure, you want to have the orgasms but sometimes it's just not going to happen no matter how long you try, and the sexual act itself is pleasing. I dont know the right words to tell a guy without destroying his ego. Guys?
TUDOR Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by dgiirl Maybe I'm weird, but I don't see the need to orgasm _every_ time either. It's the intimacy that you're trying to achieve. Sure, you want to have the orgasms but sometimes it's just not going to happen no matter how long you try, and the sexual act itself is pleasing. I don't know the right words to tell a guy without destroying his ego. Guys? My wife and I had this conversation. I am will aware that not every time will end in her not having orgasm like me. She let me know that it isn't that I'm not doing something right but rather some times she just isn't there mentally but didn't want to not have a sex. She tells me that she may not get off and that its ok so just do my thing. I don't take that as an insult, am I dissapointed..... sure I am I want her to get hers too. But I appreciate her honesty and knowing that she is doing it for me even though she knows she may not get off. That gesture of her honesty is better than her just faking it. So just be honest about it and hopefully he will see that you are still interested in satisfying him even though it isn't the best timing for you. Could result in some returned good gestures to you when you least expect it.
FolderWife Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 When my husband gets near the point of no return, he asks, "Can you come!?!" That's my warning that if I am holding out for an orgasm, I'd better let it go, because in a few seconds, it's going to be over. If I say, "Yes!" He will do his best to hold off until I do. If I say, "No." He'll just go ahead without me. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. My favorite was the last time, when I had an orgasm, and then he said, "Can you come!?" I was like "........I just did!!!" and he let his out. Guess he couldn't tell Sometimes afterwards he'll ask if I did or not. I don't know why he would care...sometimes he cares, sometimes he doesn't. Poor men...they don't realize that whether we do or don't doesn't depend soley on them. If I'm in the mood, I will...if I'm not, I won't. It depends on hormone levels. It depends on how tired I am. It depends on whether I had a good day at work or not. It depends on how long it's been since the LAST time we were intimate. It depends on how well we are getting along at the time.... Orgasms (for me at least) really only depend on the man's skills about 10%...the rest is all the aformentioned. If I'm horny, my husband can just lay there, and I can have a HUGE orgasm. If I'm not horny, he could work on me for hours, and I won't do anything.
noname Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Originally posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue But i just can't see myself saying to a guy after he just worked his hardest "Yeah, I had none" Totally shattered any ego trip he had, dignity, anything.... Now another question How may women here have lied and said 3!? Pay attention to the answers gentlemen! i think you may be greatly overestimating the effects of this answer. the ego is a funny thing first of all, and if you knock him down a notch it probably won't have and may absolutely have no effect on his dignity. for him to ask you in the first place means that he is at least a little prepared to hear "none". and if his dignity is shattered over one sexual experience, then he may need to seek counseling or to be institutionalized. not to judge anyone, but lying does no good for anyone. llying is one of the biggest reasons why humans are so messed up sexually and emotionally now. it forces the mind into a false sense of security and compatability. if a man believes that he is doing the right thing, then he will continue to do it "right". and if that "right" is really wrong, then the fault lies with that person who lied in the first place. and then you have Tudor's "viscious cycle". telling the truth could actually present a challenge and force him to adjust and make it work...
st8toftheheart Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 Originally posted by noname i think you may be greatly overestimating the effects of this answer. the ego is a funny thing first of all, and if you knock him down a notch it probably won't have and may absolutely have no effect on his dignity. for him to ask you in the first place means that he is at least a little prepared to hear "none". and if his dignity is shattered over one sexual experience, then he may need to seek counseling or to be institutionalized. I think that's a bit of an exageration. If a guy is shattered because he can't make his girlfriend orgasm does not mean he is unstable and should seek counselling. Men already have an obsession with their size or lack there of which, in most cases and with the exception of some talk shows, are not dnied by the general population. Society continue to push size is everything, whether right or wrong. Making an women orgasm is perceived as another test of manhood, however inappropriate. For a man to hear that his his women hasn't orgasmed, especially if its more than just a booty call, can have a profound affect. Knocks you down a peg and lowers yourself worth. not to judge anyone, but lying does no good for anyone. llying is one of the biggest reasons why humans are so messed up sexually and emotionally now. it forces the mind into a false sense of security and compatability. if a man believes that he is doing the right thing, then he will continue to do it "right". and if that "right" is really wrong, then the fault lies with that person who lied in the first place. and then you have Tudor's "viscious cycle". Well I group tis in the same category as the answer to the question "Do I look fat in this dress?" There are more subtle ways to get to what you need than being blunt, in both this case. I little compassion may be required and therefore may require a little fibbing. As long as the issue is addressed, the direct approach may not be needed. telling the truth could actually present a challenge and force him to adjust and make it work... See this is part of the problem. This approach is telling us that we got an C on an assigment, and teacher wants us to do it over again because she thought we were lazy. Not good for the ego, no matter what sex you are.
leeroy1985 Posted May 18, 2005 Posted May 18, 2005 the drought is now 8 long months Well you've made me feel a load better! I hadnt had anything for 6month until last night at night club with me new girlfriend (YAY! at last im not single) Anyway..... the subject! Well i only ask because if im with someone i want them to enjoy the sex as much as me.... its what relationships are about.... pleasing each other etc. Id rather be told the truth and then i can experiment with what does make her come! Its more fun experimenting too so we both get something out of it! (me trying new things and her having a quality orgasm) SO TELL THE TRUTH LADIES!!! respect....
Recommended Posts