the_entertainer1 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I've mentioned in another post recently that I've been seeing this guy (weekly-ish) since mid-July. A couple of weeks ago we became "exclusive/official". His grandfather passed away suddenly last night. Should I go to go to the funeral if I can get the time off work? One the one hand, I feel it would be good moral support, but on the other, I've only met his parents once (for 5 minutes) and feel it wouldn't be an appropriate time to meet the rest of his family. Also, I had to go to a really, really tough funeral earlier in the year, so more selfishly, I've had my fill. To consider it from another perspective: If I were in his situation, I'd appreciate him coming, but wouldn't want to have to 'look after' him as I'd be preoccupied with grieving with my family. So if it were me, I guess I'd appreciate the gesture rather than his actual presence, at this early stage of our relationship. So, should I go to his grandfather's funeral or not?
Els Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I'd ask "would you like me to come with you?" and leave the decision up to him.
d0nnivain Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 How much travel is involved? I wouldn't get on a plane for this. But if the tradition involves a wake, I would definitely go to the evening session of that. No time off required. I would ask if he wants you to go to the funeral. Those tend to be smaller family mostly & during the day so people will understand if the new GF can't be there. If it's the other way around & the family sits shiva, again you can skip the funeral but you should pay a condolence call afterwards.
ThisisIt606 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Express that you're sorry for his loss and get him a sympathy card. Let him know you're there for him, if he needs any there you're there for him. Ask when the funeral or wake is and then ask if he would like you to come? I agree that if extensive travel is involved, you shouldn't go. However if it's close try to go for a portion of the wake. Just make it known that you care about him, are sorry for his loss, and will help him out with anything he might need.
Redhead14 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I've mentioned in another post recently that I've been seeing this guy (weekly-ish) since mid-July. A couple of weeks ago we became "exclusive/official". His grandfather passed away suddenly last night. Should I go to go to the funeral if I can get the time off work? One the one hand, I feel it would be good moral support, but on the other, I've only met his parents once (for 5 minutes) and feel it wouldn't be an appropriate time to meet the rest of his family. Also, I had to go to a really, really tough funeral earlier in the year, so more selfishly, I've had my fill. To consider it from another perspective: If I were in his situation, I'd appreciate him coming, but wouldn't want to have to 'look after' him as I'd be preoccupied with grieving with my family. So if it were me, I guess I'd appreciate the gesture rather than his actual presence, at this early stage of our relationship. So, should I go to his grandfather's funeral or not? I would not attend unless he asks you to. Simply tell him you are there foe him if there is anything he needs.
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