Otter2569 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 She wants to be exclusive and says she only has "relations" in committed situations. We had two great dates with the second one getting pretty hot. There is a great connection and serious sexual chemistry but I am not ready to be exclusive. Im not looking to run around either I just dont like this idea especially after just getting out of a relationship. Whats the best way to progress so we both feel comfortable?
Celeste.Carol Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 She wants to be exclusive and says she only has "relations" in committed situations. We had two great dates with the second one getting pretty hot. There is a great connection and serious sexual chemistry but I am not ready to be exclusive. Im not looking to run around either I just dont like this idea especially after just getting out of a relationship. Whats the best way to progress so we both feel comfortable? Hi Otter, I am in sorta the same situation. I believe what she may be asking for is that you two get to know one another better, without the stress of you playing tonsil hockey with others. There does not have to be exclusivity per se, but let her know in sweet ways she is on your mind. Not constant attention, but enough to let her know your interest. She may not be into games. I give a person all the freedom (and trust) they choose but if there is a sig. lack of communication, and I begin to feel like seconds, back burner girl then I am out. I give some time, but not too much. 2
Gaeta Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 She wants to be exclusive and says she only has "relations" in committed situations. Then that's a joke if she wants exclusivity after 2 dates. She only ask exclusivity to rest her mind that it's ok to have sex. Im not looking to run around either I just dont like this idea especially after just getting out of a relationship. Whats the best way to progress so we both feel comfortable? What did you put in your profile? Did you say anything that would make her think you are looking for a relationship? If you want casual dating with no commitment THEN SAY SO. Make it clear before you meet these women!! I bet you put in your profile 'looking for relationship'? 1
rocketman122 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 She wants to be exclusive and says she only has "relations" in committed situations. We had two great dates with the second one getting pretty hot. There is a great connection and serious sexual chemistry but I am not ready to be exclusive. Im not looking to run around either I just dont like this idea especially after just getting out of a relationship. Whats the best way to progress so we both feel comfortable? I can understand her. im not into multi dating and the women I date know im only dating them and they dont date others. if I found out there was someone else, there wouldnt be a winks hesitations and I do like houdini and disappear. the exclusivity thing is very US. most places in europe dont have an idea of that. you meet and you date till it keeps going or it doesnt then you move on but you dont date others at the same time. if you dont give her exclusivity, I dont think she will stick around and I couldnt agree with her more. all my energy is to 1 person. I think she wants you to put all your energy and effort into you two to make it work. you should know if you do as well. if youre hesitating and feel an itch to date others then youll have a hard time holding her. she will walk away. 4
Author Otter2569 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 I must be more European! LOL I told her that I was not seeing anyone else and we do keep in contact a lot. Through my / our actions she knows I am interested. I am not a serial dater or anything like that but it caught me off guard. My profile does say "relationship" but do you really know if the first woman you date in over a year is the one for you after 2 dates?? I obviously want to see her more but I want it to feel free and natural.
kassy Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I think this is an American problem as said above. I don't think she wants a committed relationship with you, but rather to know that you two will get to know each other and see how this goes or doesn't go with the understanding that neither of you are off dating others at the same time. Personally I wouldn't over think it. 4
rocketman122 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 exactly as Kassy said. if youre not dating others, tell her. that will relieve her worries. she didnt ask for you and her to get engaged. she didnt ask for a commitment because no one knows after two dates. she wants you to focus your energy into her and only her to give it a chance. so shes sayiong, dont fekck around with anyone else. im with you and youre with me and lets give it a real shot. if youre hesitating, then somethings off. if I met someone 2 dates, usually thats more than enough to know if I want to continue. we talk on the phone in between dates, we text and I know yes, or no. its simple. if I dont, then my interest level falls and I fade out or simply tell her "its not for me thank you" it shouldnt catch you off gaurd. if you like her reciprocate to her the same feeling of continuing. "I obviously want to see her more but I want it to feel free and natural. " that is weird and not so definitive. maybe you want things slower, maybe you feel like youll get chocked if she demands too much too soon. tell her. your loyal but it needs to progress slower.
Candice Luna Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 When I read something like "I'm not ready to be exclusive", I immediately think the person wants to date multiple people at the same time. Definition of exclusive is "One and only", it doesn't mention getting engaged to get married. If after date 6 you no longer like her, it's okay. Just don't kiss other women while dating her. That's all she's asking. 4
central Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 If you aren't dating or currently wanting to date anyone else, you can agree to be exclusive and see where it goes. 2 dates or 2 months from now, you can revoke that choice if she is not the right long term relationship for you. Exclusive only commits you to finding out if things will work with her, before doing the same with anyone else, or looking for someone else. 1
menyou Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 If you aren't dating or currently wanting to date anyone else, you can agree to be exclusive and see where it goes. 2 dates or 2 months from now, you can revoke that choice if she is not the right long term relationship for you. Exclusive only commits you to finding out if things will work with her, before doing the same with anyone else, or looking for someone else. As long as if/when the time comes that you decide she is no longer for you, that you make it known.
phineas Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 (edited) She wants to be exclusive and says she only has "relations" in committed situations. We had two great dates with the second one getting pretty hot. There is a great connection and serious sexual chemistry but I am not ready to be exclusive. Im not looking to run around either I just dont like this idea especially after just getting out of a relationship. Whats the best way to progress so we both feel comfortable? Women like this, as was said before want to have sex but don't want to be a "slut". They want to be able to say they only have sex in a "relationship". I know women like this. They are in a new "relationship" every few months. The other times I saw this it was with women that had no intentions of actually sleeping with me but wanted me to stick around and provide what their FWB's weren't providing. They essentially dangled the sex carrot to turn me into a boyfriend without benefits. I no longer answer to women who arn't sleeping with me because of the rampant attention whoring I run into when dating. Most healthy women ive met though don't even mention this until later down the road. Edited September 19, 2015 by phineas 1
kgcolonel Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I think this is an American problem as said above. I don't think she wants a committed relationship with you, but rather to know that you two will get to know each other and see how this goes or doesn't go with the understanding that neither of you are off dating others at the same time. Personally I wouldn't over think it. I agree to a certain degree with this....I would not call it an American problem but a preference. I don't see the issue here. She seems fine to continue to "date" you but hold off on Sex until there is a commitment to the relationship. This is her right, your right is to accept or not. Where's the issue?
katiegrl Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I agree to a certain degree with this....I would not call it an American problem but a preference. I don't see the issue here. She seems fine to continue to "date" you but hold off on Sex until there is a commitment to the relationship. This is her right, your right is to accept or not. Where's the issue? I completely agree, it is not a problem .... it is a dating preference, a dating style. After meeting a man she clicks with, where there is the *potential* for a relationship, she prefers to date him and focus on him -- "one at a time," as opposed to "multi-dating." Focusing on one at a time allows both people to give their *all* to one person, as opposed to *bits and pieces* of themselves to different people. It also allows for more clarity with respect to your feelings .... as opposed to feeling confused as when you are juggling a few simultaneously. Plus if you are really into someone, why would you even want to date or search for others!? If you do, then perhaps you are not all that into her after all. 2
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