drseuss Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 So tommorow is 2 months post bu and I've been in nc since the day of the break, the first 2 weeks or so I looked on fb a couple times but soon packed that in , It has been up and down but the last couple weeks and especially all of this week I have been feeling brilliant and feeling very indderent about her , seeing much more clearly as I was a total mess and I have been much more able to see how flawed our rs was and just how my gut told me it wouldn't work out with her not being over her long term ex and I guess me being a rebound But I have woken today feeling a little deflated , I held hope for a long time and missed her tremendously and I do miss her to this day , I always hoped I would hear from her and now at 2 months , nothing. I guess it's me realising she is really gone and it hurts Also some friends are at an even she is at and I feel a little anxious about them seeing her for some reason ,im sure this down patch will pass quickly just feeling a bit rubbish which is annoying 1
Samuel_22 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 So tommorow is 2 months post bu and I've been in nc since the day of the break, the first 2 weeks or so I looked on fb a couple times but soon packed that in , It has been up and down but the last couple weeks and especially all of this week I have been feeling brilliant and feeling very indderent about her , seeing much more clearly as I was a total mess and I have been much more able to see how flawed our rs was and just how my gut told me it wouldn't work out with her not being over her long term ex and I guess me being a rebound But I have woken today feeling a little deflated , I held hope for a long time and missed her tremendously and I do miss her to this day , I always hoped I would hear from her and now at 2 months , nothing. I guess it's me realising she is really gone and it hurts Also some friends are at an even she is at and I feel a little anxious about them seeing her for some reason ,im sure this down patch will pass quickly just feeling a bit rubbish which is annoying YESSSSSSSSS!!!!Congratulations mate!!! I am dying to hit 2 months, mine has been 38 days, since the last contact...I feel I am sooooo powerful now... it is all just like a game now well, well lemme tell you that you are not alone, I still wake up with these awful feelings in the morning, but I feel brilliant in the afternoon, I dunno what is wrong with mornings...This fact that she has not contacted you, is a blessing mate, I wanted to hear from my ex as well, but when her sister contacted me, it just brought some memories back...of course I managed to pull things together fast, but I wish I had never received that message...keep up the good job...I have heard how great the 3rd month of NC is....and good feelings which flow to you!
Craftydre Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Well, you know. If she didn't contact you, then that must mean she doesn't miss you yet. I had an ex beg me back after 10 months. However, I didn't want her back anymore. But 60 days no contact is enough time for her t forget negatives about you, and you could contact her to quicken up the process, or even put it in her mind. You could send her a email or text asking her how she is, be funny and don't make it seem like you're into her or want her back, get her to meet you then slowly get her back again
Author drseuss Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 Well, you know. If she didn't contact you, then that must mean she doesn't miss you yet. I had an ex beg me back after 10 months. However, I didn't want her back anymore. But 60 days no contact is enough time for her t forget negatives about you, and you could contact her to quicken up the process, or even put it in her mind. You could send her a email or text asking her how she is, be funny and don't make it seem like you're into her or want her back, get her to meet you then slowly get her back again While in totaly agree with samuel22 as he has done a lot of this journey with me and everything screams at me to not talk to her I have this urge to send her a letter ,or even talk to her brother who is a very nice honest guy and I know he wouldn't tell her ide spoken to him just to see where she is at , weather she is with her ex or single ,I literaly have no idea , she could have moved abroad for all I know , might be a case of curiosity killed the cat..... I would partiality like to her she is back with her ex and moved on ,might distroyed the last threads of hope ..... 1
Samuel_22 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 While in totaly agree with samuel22 as he has done a lot of this journey with me and everything screams at me to not talk to her I have this urge to send her a letter ,or even talk to her brother who is a very nice honest guy and I know he wouldn't tell her ide spoken to him just to see where she is at , weather she is with her ex or single ,I literaly have no idea , she could have moved abroad for all I know , might be a case of curiosity killed the cat..... I would partiality like to her she is back with her ex and moved on ,might distroyed the last threads of hope ..... drseuss I had one of those awful days today...strange that after being fine for 3-4 days that I was fine...today the pain hit me in the stomach again...it could have been the rain...she loved rain...she loved cold weather, all of a sudden when she breaks up with me here we go...rainy days...cold weather...just wow...God what did you do with me? I just sometimes think God played me as His puppet, I just feel it was not her who did all this....came back from work one hour ago...I wanted to send her message and tell her, well you see even the weather is the way you like it...everything is in order...everything...everyone...except for me...**** I can't stop crying now...pray for me
Samuel_22 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 (edited) I feel better already, mate what they are doing has got nothing to do with us...picture this, we were in love with people who are no longer alive...they are dead...gone forever...it just needs the courage, if you have to turn your head and look at her grave once more, if you can't believe your eyes, keep asking anyone who passes by to tell you what name they can read on the grave...these people here are those who are passing by... they all say, names of our exes are written on those tombstones... they all say that....everyone says that...still we want to change the reality....they are dead....finished...kaput....we have to grieve....we have to grieve as much as we can... only then will we find some peace, and it is not far away...we are close to the point, we are so close that I can see the light! just don't give up pal...I would send a message and share with you the outcome, if you asked me...I would do that for you...but I know what we are going to get, another knife will be stabbed right in our ****ing hearts... and nothing else Edited September 19, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator comment on moderation removed ~T
Liono84 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I'm at the same stage as you are brother. Stay strong. I just replied to a comment from you on another thread, and I think you can relate to that when u read it. It's just about the different timelines and how time is inherently different for a dumpee vs a dumper post break-up. You really have to try and accept the fact that you will NEVER hear from her again and try to find someone else, someone better. That way there won't be a big disappointment for you in the end because we can't live life while we're waiting for something. We've got to go full speed. I'm also at the 2 month mark, and I go through the same things. There are days and sometimes even consecutive days where I'm feeling good, real good, and then the next day, I get sad again and really feel depressed. It's perfectly normal. It's not going to go away in an instant, it's just gradually going to go away, drop by drop, so hang in there. 1
Liono84 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 While in totaly agree with samuel22 as he has done a lot of this journey with me and everything screams at me to not talk to her I have this urge to send her a letter ,or even talk to her brother who is a very nice honest guy and I know he wouldn't tell her ide spoken to him just to see where she is at , weather she is with her ex or single ,I literaly have no idea , she could have moved abroad for all I know , might be a case of curiosity killed the cat..... I would partiality like to her she is back with her ex and moved on ,might distroyed the last threads of hope ..... No. Do NOT do that!!! I know there are a lot of ppl. on these forums that take things too much to an extreme regarding NC, even if/when a dumper contacts you back and is genuine. I don't think you should be that hardcore. But at the same time, they are completely right in regards to if a person dumps you, they should be doing the contact. No matter what. Not matter how long. Please, do not initiate contact. You will only set yourself up for more hurt. 1
Author drseuss Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 I know any contact would be wrong and even tho my usual sunday hangover is as bad as ever I feel much better today , 60 days today ! , just wish I could lose that tiny bit of hope . It is getting smaller as days go by .I just want her to contact me , even if I don't reply ,it's an odd feeling but I feel I need it ...... 1
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