disbelief Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 hey guys, so my GF blew me off and moved out about 2 months ago. we also have a 2.5 yr old son so its been pretty brutal. anyway its been a roller coaster since she left. she was seeing this other guy 2 days after she left but swears hes just a friend. she does seem to be very truthful of them being just friends but i would say the likelihood that they are just friends is 50% at best. so heres the thing, every time i try and bring up the fact that shes seeing him or my unhappiness with what has happened she gets agitated and shell go silent for a few days after and try to make it seem like im the bad guy. she says that she cant be with anyone because of all the hurt she has inside from her up bringing etc....she also says guys are *******s but yet shes hanging out with this other dude because hes a "friend" if i play it cool and act nice shell warm up and even wants to hang out with our son together. I dont just want to hang out, shes the mother of my child; i want us to be a family again. i think she wants me in friend zone but i cant just be friends, not now at least. what should i do when she asks to hang out together with our son? Like i said i dont know forsure that shes sleeping with this guy but if she is i dont think i could deal being around her. if were on good terms and she asks to hangout i dont just want to be like "no i cant" that seems lame. should i have more of the approach like " hey im totally down for hanging out if you want to work on our family but if your just wanting to be friends then its probably not a good idea for us or our son at this time" my thought is that sounds like im trying to pin her to a relationship which i know scares women. i need to have an approach that is a balance between a strait "no" and "only if we get back together" what would you guys do?
Author disbelief Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 any input would be appreciated
MrBojangles Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Sorry to hear of your troubles friend. You seem intent on being a stand-up guy and keep his family together, and that is to be commended. But your GF on the other hand seems to have moved on and entered into new relationship. Ultimately the responsible thing that you both will HAVE to do, is sit down and come up with a parenting plan / custody agreement that is fair for the both of you. TBH, from the details you've provided, it does not sound likely that she is coming back to a relationship with you at this time. There may come a time in the very near future, that YOU will need to move on with your life and start meeting new women. I sense that you are torturing yourself right now by waiting on her to come back to you. This is easy for me to say, I realize that. But if I were in your shoes at this moment, I'd make it clear to her that our relationship is over, and insist on a parenting role in your child's life. You're not being fair to yourself sitting on the sideline waiting for her to come back and be a family, after she's dated other guys. Please don't appoint yourself as her Plan B guy. You can move on with your life, without her and still be a great dad to your child!
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