olaf90 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 (edited) Hey everyone, I'm new here, I was looking for a website where I can get some help and I think this is the one. Here's my story, me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years, we've known eachother for 5, we had about two breaks in the 3 years space and things have messed up recently, she unfortunately left, I know why..I wasn't the best boyfriend, i made her feel crap a lot of times, I was a loser and a piece of trash really, I always loved her you know? She said to me she needs time to fix herself, and make herself better, when I called her she got really angry and fed up and said she doesn't love me. I miss her I want to make things better, she does cooking now in college and she said she wants to focus on herself for now, that she needs time away, what shall I do? I'm stuck between messaging her and giving her time. I'm really scared that she might not be back into my life, what shall I do, this is hurting me and I cry every night because I just want her back and I want to make things right between us Edited September 19, 2015 by olaf90 writing more
thunder777 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 she misses you just the same but is probably enjoying the relief of your mistreatment the withdrawals for her are equally the same as yours she just hiding it however she needs time away for you to fix yourself, not her DO NOT be pleeding and begging for her right now, that is weakling stuff do girls want weaklings? stand up off your seat and say hey im a champion with or without her, ignore ignore ignore, do not contact her or stalk her in anyway, u have no other chance to get her back she flew away for reasons important to herself, she needs to fly back. if your gonna be intruding on her healing time she aint ever coming back
Author olaf90 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 Do you think that giving her time and just getting on with life is the best thing? I am really scared of her finding somebody else too, it's worrying me, but she said she doesn't need that and she just wants to find herself and fix herself up She has a stressful period of time in college at the moment I said to her that I will give her time and space to breathe, which I will but it's difficult not to see her How long do you think she needs? We did have a pretty unstable relationship. I want to work to get her back, do you think this break is the best solution?
thunder777 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 its the best thing for her right now, youve made her feel like crap it really sucks the idea of her finding someone else, and is out there being with another guy, its possible if she is easy/floozy but if she is deep & sincere she is not letting go of you just yet but intruding on her alone time right now, u will only give her more reasons to say yes to any potential new guys theres reasons why shes not appealled by you right now, u havent shared them but u likely know yea if your gonna still be this way why would she ever consider coming back what changes do u need to make in yourself for her to feel that your gonna be that guy shes always liked, not the guy she is currently resenting shes angry and got u painted in the "loser" zone right now, dont make it worse and be and even bigger creepy begging loser with all these broken feelings dont be that way, thats not how women picture men to be, its not manly, despite what your suffering right now
Author olaf90 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 she's different to other girls, honestly she needs time to focus on college now, because it's so stressful for her, and I'm going to give her time, I really want things to be okay she said to me "fix yourself and then we can start with us" kind of thing? I'm just praying for the best, because she means the world to me, I just need to change myself and prove her wrong don't I? So when she's ready to talk I can make her proud, and try again
disbelief Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 do not contact her, wait for her to contact you. don't get all sappy and tell her how much you love her. wait for her to come to you and just play it cool. girls don't want a fearful sappy dude that begs.
Author olaf90 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 thanks! i will try to be okay, it'll take time, I will give her space away from me, I want her to do well in cooking in college, and I want her to be ready will update if things go okay
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 OP, can you be more specific: what did you say or do that made her feel like crap? You say your relationship was unstable - how so? I ask because I have an ex-boyfriend who I feel mistreated me too, and I know how I felt when I finally cut the cord. I felt free and calm, and his calls and messages to me just irritated me further. You really do need to back off completely and leave her alone for a while. In the meantime, what do you plan to do to better yourself?
Author olaf90 Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 OP, can you be more specific: what did you say or do that made her feel like crap? You say your relationship was unstable - how so? I ask because I have an ex-boyfriend who I feel mistreated me too, and I know how I felt when I finally cut the cord. I felt free and calm, and his calls and messages to me just irritated me further. You really do need to back off completely and leave her alone for a while. In the meantime, what do you plan to do to better yourself? We had a lot of problems, a lot of silly ones, we never showed any love to each other and it's hard to explain, i was just a terrible person, i didn't physically hurt her or anything like that, hell no! I just made her feel empty, and lost, and now i'm feeling the same as her, I'm giving her time to fix herself and she said that she doesn't know if there's a chance, but she says everything when she's angry. In the mean time I'm starting work on Tuesday to get this off my mind, I want to make a change for her and I want her to come home to the boy she fell in love with, and I will try hard. Do you think there's any chance at all?
Author olaf90 Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 She also said she wants to be friends for now, I'm worried she will find somebody and I will break apart
Sad_potato Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Hi OP, I feel you. I'm in the same kind of situation with my ex-boyfriend. We had lot of problems - caused by me. I'm very jealous and I need to control things, I hurted him too much. We're living together and week ago he changed. He suddenly went quiet and I though it's just another mood swing that will pass over night. And that's perfect example of what I was doing, thinking that his problems aren't so big and that they will go away when I just forget about them. Well long story short, we're now broken up. I have lived with my parents the whole week. He basically said that he cares and loves for me, but I need to change for his to even reconsider us getting back together. I have been doing lot of soul search for couple of days and I have found lot of things to work on. I have been telling him about those things, but he doesn't seem too impressed and when I speak to him I feel like he don't want me around now. I know I'm pushing him away for trying to speak with him and it makes him think I'm still very controlling. I decided to stop it, he said today that he promises to speak when he's ready. It's very hard to wait for him to be ready because I love him so much and I'm so afraid that he will just say that we should forget about each other.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 We had a lot of problems, a lot of silly ones, we never showed any love to each other and it's hard to explain, i was just a terrible person, i didn't physically hurt her or anything like that, hell no! I just made her feel empty, and lost, and now i'm feeling the same as her, I'm giving her time to fix herself and she said that she doesn't know if there's a chance, but she says everything when she's angry. In the mean time I'm starting work on Tuesday to get this off my mind, I want to make a change for her and I want her to come home to the boy she fell in love with, and I will try hard. Do you think there's any chance at all? I don't know because I'm still not clear on exactly what the problems were. You say you made her feel lost - how so? Did you withold affection? Ignore her? Did you insult her? Please be more specific so I can get a better sense of the bigger picture.
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