bluebear2364 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Not sure if this is the right forum for this topic, but it's the closest... This is a truly weird question, but it needs answers, I think. I'm a 22 year-old guy, and my parents are moderate Christians. I haven't had sex with anyone before, but I met this girl recently, and we've been thinking about it. The thing is, I'm not sure if my parents still believe in the old doctrine, no sex before marriage. While I do believe that doctrine is outdated, I do want to honour my parents' beliefs, you know? How should I ask my parents? Should I even? bb2364
HokeyReligions Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Sex is between you and your partner, not between you, your partner, and your parents. What do YOU believe? If you have sex, be careful and use precautions. If you have questions about the morality of premarital sex -- talk to a minister to get some clarifications. No sense letting religious beliefs coat your first sexual experience with guilt. What are your criteria for having sex? Do you want to be in love and loved? Do you need a commitment? Is casual OK? Does she have to be a virgin too? These kinds of things can make the sexual experience a little tense and leave you feeling somewhat ill at ease, or downright guilty afterwards. Get your priorities in line.
NakedNoodle Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I agree- Perhaps you should solidify your own beliefs before you try to have sex. My opinion is that since your are a bit older, you shouldn't have to ask a parent for permission to have sex. Really, your life is your own to live and you have to make your own decisions and accept the consequences.
reservoirdog1 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 You're 22, so it's none of their business. You're an adult, capable of forming your own opinions as to what's acceptable and what isn't. Sounds like you're giving this a lot of thought, which is good. Just try to come to your own conclusion. Especially since you're not really sure what your parents think anyway.
st8toftheheart Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 In the olden days, a people who had sex before marriage was the way to identify "bad women or men". So if you were a good person you would wait to have sex, until you were married. The beliefs and structures have not kept up to the times, so the definition of "bad women or men" has changed, if there even is such a thing when it comes to this topic. Sex, pre marriage or otherwise, can be set on a foundation that is still moral but at the same time not antiquated. Example. Having sex in a car with someone you hardly know, versus someone you have been seeing for some time and grown into a relationship and care for. Both of these acts can happen prior to marriage but one could be considered more moral than the other. So I think no sex before marriage is draconian but morals can still apply even when breaking that rule. Happy Hunting.
Sukotto Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Reminds me of an article I saw on the news yesterday, an Italian woman sued her husband because he was impotent and she didn't find out until after they were married since they were good catholics. Now i'm not saying that you should have sex just to make sure it works but its something to think about. http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13347660,00.html
noname Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 Your decisions are yours. you honor your parents simply by making your own. whether you make the right or wrong ones is you responsibility. you need to spend some serious time exploring your own beliefs and morals. you are an adult now and your parents raised you to be just that. i would also suggest that you spend a little more time communicating more deeply with your parents. the reason i say this is that you are an adult and you are still unsure about how your parents feel about as serious a subject as this. sounds like you may be able to honor them by getting to know a little more about them, and you wouldn't really have to guess...
norcaldivr Posted May 17, 2005 Posted May 17, 2005 You could liken it to taking a car for a test drive before you decide to buy. Seriously though there are many things you just cannot find out without being intimate and sleeping with someone. One example is if you are a light sleeper and your partner snores like a locomotive. Silly as it may sound this can be a huge problem. Myself I lose interest in a woman if we don't become intimate withing a reasonable time. Phyical intimacy is just too important to me. For many other people it is not as important. The other posters who said something to the effect that it is a decision you and your partner must be comfortable with are right on. If you both are on the same page then things will likely be OK once you do start to become lovers.
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