Can a bisexual woman have a normal marriage??

[Guyouthere]

Can a bisexual woman who is attracted to other women truly have a normal and fully committed relationship with her husband???

[BlueBlood]

Of course. Once you decide to love and devote yourself to one person, you devote yourself to one person.

[Guyouthere]

I dunno…. I can see possible spiritual issues with that….

[mrldii]

Of course. Once you decide to love and devote yourself to one person, you devote yourself to one person.

 

 

This. ^^^

 

Since bisexual women are human, too, I'd imagine they are just as capable of being faithful as heterosexuals, just as capable of cheating as heterosexuals, just as capable of having open or exclusive relationships, and just as prone to divorce/happily-ever-after as heterosexuals.

 

I'm trying to imagine why their abilities would be different from anyone else's.

[TaraMaiden2]

I dunno…. I can see possible spiritual issues with that….

 

A Bisexual person is not going to be tempted to have sex with another same-sex person, any more than a heterosexual person is going to be tempted to have sex with another hetero.

 

It's a question of fidelity and trust.

Just because someone is bisexual, doesn't mean their sexual needs are increased or doubled.

It just mens they happen to swing both ways.

 

But when a bi/hetero enters into a committed one-on-one relationship - with another bi OR hetero person - all bets are off.

 

What 'spiritual' issues are you talking about?

There's nothing 'spiritual' about someone's sexual persuasion.

They gay, bi or hetero.

 

That's it and the end of it.

[jen1447]

Can a bisexual woman who is attracted to other women truly have a normal and fully committed relationship with her husband???

 

Yes. It's not only possible, it's likely.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Can a bisexual woman who is attracted to other women truly have a normal and fully committed relationship with her husband???

 

 

Sure, but once she informs you that she is "bisexual", it is at that point that a "normal" guy would do best to run for the hills.

 

 

There is exactly one reason, and one reason only why a woman you're dating informs you that she is "bisexual"...and it is because she plans to cheat on you at some point.

 

(... somehow then, in her own mind, lessening her seeming violation with the line: "... but I TOLD you I was 'bisexual' " )

 

 

For what other reason would such a person tell of bisexuality when it would be so otherwise irrelevant?

[TaraMaiden2]

Sure, but once she informs you that she is "bisexual", it is at that point that a "normal" guy would do best to run for the hills.

 

 

There is exactly one reason, and one reason only why a woman you're dating informs you that she is "bisexual"...and it is because she plans to cheat on you at some point.

 

(... somehow then, in her own mind, lessening her seeming violation with the line: "... but I TOLD you I was 'bisexual' " )

 

 

For what other reason would such a person tell of bisexuality when it would be so otherwise irrelevant?

 

I'm sorry, but this is an utterly ludicrous response.

It's common knowledge on this forum that a guy will always want to know his GF's history - and more often than not end up wishing he didn't.

Secondly, an awful lot of guys, upon discovering their GFs are bisexual, don't immediately think 'cheater', but will far more often think "Mmmmm! Threesome!"

 

Most guys will want to know, and the reasons women give them that info, is more to say "If you're uncomfortable with that, back out now...."

 

Women won't usually consider it relevant, until the guy seeks further info.

 

Besides, there is NOTHING in the original post which would suggest the woman gave out that information, without being asked.

[Gaeta]

Ask her if she is monogamous.

 

If women are attracted toward lets say Italian men and Russian men, does it mean if she marries and Italian man she'll need to have sex with Russian men? no of course not.

[casey.lives]

People all have good and not so good inside of them. If you consistently choose one side over the other, you are building fortitude and strength of conviction to that side. I think whatever you practice is whatever you should expect. Being attracted to beauty is a human condition.. Courting women and lesbianism is whole different alternative. So... yeah it's depends. Plus Marriage is about FORSAKING ALL OTHERS.

[Rejected Rosebud]

why not if she is a monogamous person?? Why wouldn't she? :confused:

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

anna paquin is bisexual and has had relationships with woman in the past but has married stephen Moyer. I think they have two children together. For all intense and purposes, they seem happily married and as far as I know not one of them have cheated on one another. But as far as I know, Hollywood is another sub-culture entirely.

[salparadise]

Yes, of course it's possible... but, there are two reasons why everyone might not be cut out for it.

 

First, in hetero relationships it's typical that a woman has girlfriends that she is close to, confides in, and who serve as her social network, and a guy doesn't have to worry about her falling in love with the bff girlfriend. If she attaches to another straight guy for these same reasons then the husband will see it as a threat to the marriage, in most cases. I'll save you the trouble of pointing out that you are aware of an exception. A lot of hetero people just don't believe there is such a thing as truly platonic opposite sex "friendships." So with a bi woman, this guy may be just as threatened when his wife gets too close, and perhaps too drunk, with girlfriend she shares everything else with.

 

Secondly, there seems to be a somewhat prevalent attitude that a bi woman will need to express that aspect of her sexuality as well, and therefore doing so is less offensive or taboo than a hetero woman going outside the relationship with a man. So even if she marries with the promise that it's a non-issue, she has a built-in pass of sorts should she elect utilize the prerogative to change her mind.

 

As much as I believe in a person's right to be who they are and live their life accordingly... I have to admit that it might be difficult knowing that anyone with whom my significant other develops a close relationship could turn into a romantic interest or become a sexual temptation.

[mrldii]

Poster is obviously going to catch a lot of flack for his opinion here, but I am going to back him up. My experience has been that many bisexual women use that as justification to cheat on their partners. I won't say that no bisexual women are capable of monogamy, but I sure haven't met one that was. I definitely avoid them when I am looking for a relationship.

 

 

If true, then it's the same as a heterosexual woman who justifies her cheating because her "husband does not understand [her]" or a heterosexual man who justifies his cheating because his "wife won't give blow-jobs/take it up the ***".

 

Again, NOT seeing a difference in one's potential/probable setting on a moral compass simply because of the slapped-on label "bisexual".

 

 

Perhaps it's best if we all stop dating/relating/mating with others, because they might find a *justifiable* reason to cheat on us.

 

 

[salparadise]

If true, then it's the same as a heterosexual woman who justifies her cheating because her "husband does not understand [her]" or a heterosexual man who justifies his cheating because his "wife won't give blow-jobs/take it up the ***".

 

Hmmm, no I don't think that's parallel. I haven't researched statistics, but I'd be willing to bet that homosexuals are less monogamous than heteros.

 

My visceral feeling is that there are boundary differences. I've been hit on by enough gay men who either knew I was straight and married––or just didn't care––that I learned to make it perfectly clear that I'm not interested as opposed to just relaxing and being socially engaging.

 

Not everything can be reduced to a simple analogy.

[Hopeful30]

I dunno…. I can see possible spiritual issues with that….

 

The spiritual issue would be not being true to herself. OP what does your sexuality have anything to do with your ability to have a proper marriage?

[kendahke]

Can a bisexual woman who is attracted to other women truly have a normal and fully committed relationship with her husband???

 

If her intention is to be monogamous until one of the two of you dies? Sure. Why not? She's still human.

[QueenDeath]

One's sexuality shouldn't determine if they can be committed or not. It's about the person.

[mrldii]

Hmmm, no I don't think that's parallel. I haven't researched statistics, but I'd be willing to bet that homosexuals are less monogamous than heteros...

 

Of course homosexuals would 'appear to be less monogamous than heterosexuals'...for God's sake, they just won the right to be as miserable in marriage as straight people have been since the Dawn of Man less than 3 months ago.

 

Give them some time to mirror heterosexuals' ability to remain faithful within the confines of marriage, would y'all?!?

 

 

 

But, we're not talking about "homosexuals", here...we're talking about "bisexuals" - and most particularly, bisexuals of [only] the female persuasion. Apparently, while most are willing to give that women are most interested in monogamy and getting their claws into a man, that flies out the window if that woman is bi.

 

Interesting how many people "know" things...all the while they concede there's no factual data TO support their knowledge. Hmmm...I do believe that's the necessary ingredient for "self-fulfilling prophecies" and "foregone conclusions".

[kendahke]

Sure, but once she informs you that she is "bisexual", it is at that point that a "normal" guy would do best to run for the hills.

 

Define "normal". Because the guy could be bisexual, too. Do you mean straight?

 

There is exactly one reason, and one reason only why a woman you're dating informs you that she is "bisexual"...and it is because she plans to cheat on you at some point.

 

(... somehow then, in her own mind, lessening her seeming violation with the line: "... but I TOLD you I was 'bisexual' " )

 

 

For what other reason would such a person tell of bisexuality when it would be so otherwise irrelevant?

Um, because she may not want to begin an important and most likely an enduring relationship with a lie of omission? She should hide the truth of herself to the person she's going to commit her life to until one of them dies because he can't emotionally cope with someone who is bi?

 

How he deals with that information is on him.

[kilgore]

Of course homosexuals would 'appear to be less monogamous than heterosexuals'...for God's sake, they just won the right to be as miserable in marriage as straight people have been since the Dawn of Man less than 3 months ago.

 

Give them some time to mirror heterosexuals' ability to remain faithful within the confines of marriage, would y'all?!?

 

 

 

But, we're not talking about "homosexuals", here...we're talking about "bisexuals" - and most particularly, bisexuals of [only] the female persuasion. Apparently, while most are willing to give that women are most interested in monogamy and getting their claws into a man, that flies out the window if that woman is bi.

 

Interesting how many people "know" things...all the while they concede there's no factual data TO support their knowledge. Hmmm...I do believe that's the necessary ingredient for "self-fulfilling prophecies" and "foregone conclusions".

 

Or BS, as the case may be

[TunaCat]

Yes we can.

 

I'm a bisexual woman and I have only had one relationship my entire life and I never cheated on him and I'm really pissed off about the implication that bisexuals cheat on their partner.

 

Cheating is never okay no matter the sexual orientation.

 

I would tell anyone who I was on a date with that I was bisexual. If they can't handle it, then we aren't supposed to be together.

 

I know I can have a successful marriage. I just have to meet the right person.

[salparadise]

Of course homosexuals would 'appear to be less monogamous than heterosexuals'...for God's sake, they just won the right to be as miserable in marriage as straight people have been since the Dawn of Man less than 3 months ago.

 

Give them some time to mirror heterosexuals' ability to remain faithful within the confines of marriage, would y'all?!?

 

Monogamy is a fairly recent social construct; it's definitely not default human reproductive behavior since the dawn of man. Even among heterosexual couples who enter legally binding marriages, less than half remain sexually exclusive with that partner for life. I don't think gov't sanctioning creates, nor does the absence of same preclude, the possibility of monogamous unions.

 

 

But, we're not talking about "homosexuals", here...we're talking about "bisexuals" - and most particularly, bisexuals of [only] the female persuasion. Apparently, while most are willing to give that women are most interested in monogamy and getting their claws into a man, that flies out the window if that woman is bi.

 

Well, yes and no... we're talking about both homosexual and heterosexual proclivities existing within the same individual. By definition we're talking about people for whom no one individual of either gender can satisfy all of their sexual urges and/or emotional needs. In order to remain exclusive within a marriage they will be required to subjugate half of their needs... whereas with a heterosexual couple, their partner at least has the anatomical/gender oriented possibility of satisfying all of their sexual needs.

 

"That path may be very difficult to navigate and fraught with pain for all involved. The life of a bisexual can be very difficult unless their primary partner provides the support and freedom to allow him or her the chance to experience intimacy with the other sex."

Loren Olsen M.D., The Messy Realities of Bisexuality, Psychology Today

 

 

 

Interesting how many people "know" things...all the while they concede there's no factual data TO support their knowledge. Hmmm...I do believe that's the necessary ingredient for "self-fulfilling prophecies" and "foregone conclusions".

 

I don't believe I've seen any empirical data to the contrary either. If you're going to shoot down other's viewpoints with the argument that statistics are required, then you don't get to be correct by default. And if you're going to use, "it's exactly like" followed by some completely different scenario as evidence to support your argument, then at least make sure the examples are actually analogous.

[central]

A commitment is a commitment, regardless of hetero, bi, etc. I don't think a bisexual person is any more likely to cheat. That has more to do with character, and perhaps circumstance.

 

I think you need to ask her attitude about monogamy and commitment. Ask directly if she chooses to be monogamous in a heterosexual relationship, will she want to someday explore her bisexuality again. If there is ambiguity or reservations, then you should ask more or move on. Or, become swingers - it seems like most of the couples include bisexual women, so maybe that's where some of them and their husbands end up!

[mrldii]

Monogamy is a fairly recent social construct; it's definitely not default human reproductive behavior since the dawn of man. Even among heterosexual couples who enter legally binding marriages, less than half remain sexually exclusive with that partner for life. I don't think gov't sanctioning creates, nor does the absence of same preclude, the possibility of monogamous unions.

 

"Monogamy" has been successfully utilized by various members of the animal kingdom, who are devoid of any knowledge of government and legal sanctions, since the Dawn of Man.

 

 

 

 

Well, yes and no... we're talking about both homosexual and heterosexual proclivities existing within the same individual. By definition we're talking about people for whom no one individual of either gender can satisfy all of their sexual urges and/or emotional needs. In order to remain exclusive within a marriage they will be required to subjugate half of their needs... whereas with a heterosexual couple, their partner at least has the anatomical/gender oriented possibility of satisfying all of their sexual needs.

 

"That path may be very difficult to navigate and fraught with pain for all involved. The life of a bisexual can be very difficult unless their primary partner provides the support and freedom to allow him or her the chance to experience intimacy with the other sex."

Loren Olsen M.D., The Messy Realities of Bisexuality, Psychology Today

 

Yes, we ARE talking about "bisexual [women]" (NOT "homosexual" [women]); it says so, right in the title of the thread. "Homosexual" means 'sexually attracted to members of the same sex only'; by mere definition "bisexuals" are NOT "homosexuals".

 

 

 

 

 

I don't believe I've seen any empirical data to the contrary either. If you're going to shoot down other's viewpoints with the argument that statistics are required, then you don't get to be correct by default. And if you're going to use, "it's exactly like" followed by some completely different scenario as evidence to support your argument, then at least make sure the examples are actually analogous.

 

Sure, you've seen "empirical data" to the contrary; this thread (alone) is filled with bisexual women providing it. For some reason, many are choosing to ignore that empirical data, however, and would rather hold fast to their own foregone conclusions on the matter, all the while stating that since they, themselves, are heterosexual and therefore not bisexual, they know best what a bisexual woman is - and is not - capable of and have determined that bisexual woman are incapable of monogamy.

 

 

Again, I will continue to believe that since bisexual women ARE human, too, they are as capable of monogamy as any human being is; no more, no less. No reason to hold them to any higher/different/lower standard than any other human being.