BeyondSay Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I enjoy reading threads on this site, the advice given is always spot on from people going through or having been through similar situations. My recent personal experience has got to me, quite badly. We started dating 4 months ago, and it was a great 4 months, we had a strong connection, great sex and we had fun. 3 weeks ago I landed a new job, it has been very stressful for me getting prepared for this transition and money has had to be tight for tax purposes as I switch to contracting. I didn't tell me ex this, and I felt a little that she wasn't pulling her weight slightly in the relationship, I was doing the majority of the running around and paying for most things. I may have said things that I shouldn't that embarrassed her & humiliated her. I was also boasting about my new job and the more money I'll have. It's great but that is a negative character trait of mine that has recently come to the surface but I will working to rectify. But last week after we went out, I asked her to pay half, the following day I got message from her ending things saying that I don't 'treat her to things' that she doesn't earn that much money and the bragging (Just started) was too much. I was dumbfounded and lost. I replied by apologizing for the money being tight, told her why and of course apologized for the boasting that it is completely unlike me. I also told her that I had fallen in love with her. I was lost, and did just enough without 'begging.' The next day I asked if we could talk having heard nothing back from her, she sent me a long message saying she's sad about happened but the boasting had put her off and that it was over. Anyway Sunday came along and what she didn't know was that I had bought us both 2 tickets to go and see her favourite comedian about 4 weeks ago and I told her they were still open if she wanted to go. Monday came about and she said she wants to meet up. So we set a date for Friday (today). She then speaks to me like nothing had happened for the next day. I couldn't help but feel there was an elephant in the room though. But then radio silence from her the next 2 days, so yesterday I asked her if she was still up for going tonight and she said yes as long as I was. And then an hour later I get a text from her saying she's sorry and that she doesn't want to waste my time, she's decided that this isn't what she wants and that she's going traveling next year. I'm hurt, dumbfounded and she evidently doesn't know what she wants. I think the world of her this is why it's painful. She then again proceeds to contact me again today asking for my advice as she isn't feeling well. It's just hard work on me and I don't know what to do. I want to move on but the thought of her not being around is getting to me. Any advice would be good. Thanks for reading.
thunder777 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 (edited) #gold digger shes had it so good feeding off you all one way traffic from your wallet, then you stand up for yourself saying hey about you put in too, and she has gone nuts at you. she knows your right she just doesnt want you to have the satisfaction as then she will have to start paying her way now in recent days, the storm has passed and shes hoping to quietly settle back into u paying for everything, by making you feel guilty these last few days since your upheaval draw the line, you are funding her lifestyle, rip it away from her, take the privilege away, she will come back begging and pleading that she will try to start paying her way, when you cut off her lifeline her absence away from you will create withdrawals and they are seriously tough, but harden up believe you can get through 3 weeks with zero contact, because u can, u just have to be willing Edited September 18, 2015 by thunder777
mightycpa Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I think you're not being honest with yourself, because the truth is too painful to bear. First, you DO know what to do. It's just going to be painful and difficult. Second, she DOES know what she wants. She's told you as much, at least three times, by my count. It's just not what you want to hear. Last, keep working on that streak of arrogance. I'm not sure she would have stayed had you not boasted, but either way, that kind of talk is offputting, and will lose you more friends/girls than it will get you. Pull the trigger, friend. Time to put this relationship in the grave and move on.
Recommended Posts