Maharishi Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 When chatting to guys I'm noticing a bit of a pattern. At some point in conversations obviously you are going to ask one another what you do for a living etc. A few guys I've talked to have responded quite strangely when it's come up that I graduated from Cambridge University. One recent guy said: "You mean YOU went to THE Cambridge University?!" Another one said: "So are you one of them stuck up chicks then?" But guys who are well educated themselves don't react in this way at all (unsurprisingly). I don't want to be elitist. But is it reasonable to just immediately eliminate anyone who responds in this negative or weird way when they find out where I went to university?
Celeste.Carol Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 When chatting to guys I'm noticing a bit of a pattern. At some point in conversations obviously you are going to ask one another what you do for a living etc. A few guys I've talked to have responded quite strangely when it's come up that I graduated from Cambridge University. One recent guy said: "You mean YOU went to THE Cambridge University?!" Another one said: "So are you one of them stuck up chicks then?" But guys who are well educated themselves don't react in this way at all (unsurprisingly). I don't want to be elitist. But is it reasonable to just immediately eliminate anyone who responds in this negative or weird way when they find out where I went to university? No one can tell you if it is a reasonable response for you. Only you can for yourself know if it is reasonable for you. If they are undereducated they may be threatened by the possibility you are intellectually superior to them.
Jj66 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I also went to a world-renowned university. I never eliminate anyone based on her response to finding out. However, I have never mentioned where I went to school in an online chat. I'm a big believer in getting offline quickly so those sorts of things usually don't come up until we are vis-a-vis. Lol, I don't require my date to drop French expressions in conversation, or even be well-educated formally. I do, however, require her to be articulate.
Gaeta Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 The question was what do you do for living, not where you went to school. Right? If they ask you where you went to school than answer the question but other than that if you go on about where you went to school when it's not asked it is snobbish. 4
Author Maharishi Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 So it's best to refuse to answer when they ask if I went to university and which university. Oh, OK.
Survivor12 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 So it's best to refuse to answer when they ask if I went to university and which university. Oh, OK. You may want to refrain from the eye roll until you re-read what Gaeta wrote. 1
Author Maharishi Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 So unnecessarily snide It is absolutely obvious that if all somebody asks is what job you do you are not going to reply I WENT TO CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY As is obvious conversations tend to flow. A follow up question to "what job do you do?" Is often "did you have to go to school for that? Did you study here in London?" etc etc
Author Maharishi Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 You may want to refrain from the eye roll until you re-read what Gaeta wrote. You may want to refrain from posting in this thread until you have something relevant to say 1
kassy Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You need to re-read what you wrote in the op. It says nothing about them asking about what uni you went to just about jobs. So the responses you have relate to that. I don't see the response as inappropriate they may just be impressed you went to Cambridge. If the rest of the conversation goes well then I don't see however they react to this news as being a big deal. Just roll with it and meet them in person and it will no doubt either be a non-issue or an issue and you can deal with it then. 1
Kamille Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 To answer your question: yes, you're allowed to eliminate anyone who responds in a negative weird way to anything that is related to who you are. And yes, education and professional status can make some people feel insecure. But that's their issue, not yours. 2
kendahke Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 But guys who are well educated themselves don't react in this way at all (unsurprisingly). I don't want to be elitist. But is it reasonable to just immediately eliminate anyone who responds in this negative or weird way when they find out where I went to university? Girl, be elitist when it comes to that isht. Eliminate them. 1
d0nnivain Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 But is it reasonable to just immediately eliminate anyone who responds in this negative or weird way when they find out where I went to university? Absolutely! Your educational background played a part in making you the person you are. Somebody who is dismissive of that or jealous in a mean way probably isn't a good long term match for you. FWIW, I'm impressed. 2
losangelena Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I dunno. I'd say this is one of these things that ultimately is up to you to decide. To me, I would be wary in general of any guy who took something I told them and wanted to make a sarcastic remark about it, especially so early on, and especially if it's not good natured. It would give me pause if I got called "stuck up" by someone just based on where I went to school. That sounds like a pot shot, and if you're not even talking to them in person, things like tone would be awfully hard to read. In short, it would bother me, but less for the actual comment, and more what it implies about their character, that they want to tear down rather than build up. 2
Yummm Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 @OP - you're from London and graduated from Cambridge University - why on earth have we not matched on OLD yet?
Lois_Griffin Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 It sounds like it's intimidating for the guys who give you those types of answers. Especially if they're construction workers or the night manager at McDonalds. 1
Yummm Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 To answer your question, you're free to do as you wish. Write whomever you want off due to whatever reason... If you're turned off by the response then why should you continue to talk to them? Either they are intimidated or just playing around in a way that isn't very attractive to you, doesn't really matter! 1
Gaeta Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 So unnecessarily snide It is absolutely obvious that if all somebody asks is what job you do you are not going to reply I WENT TO CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY As is obvious conversations tend to flow. A follow up question to "what job do you do?" Is often "did you have to go to school for that? Did you study here in London?" etc etc When you post a question it's important to be accurate on how the conversation went down. As you presented it it sounded like at the question 'what do you do for living' you answered and elaborated on the University you went to. You think it's obvious you didn't do that but nothing is obvious online. 4
Gaeta Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 To answer your question: These comments men make show their insecurities. They're uncomfortable with dating a woman more educated than them or with a better career than them. You should not date these men. It doesn't mean you should date only professionals. I'm a professional and I date mainly blue collars - I prefer them for different reasons but those I dated were not intimated by my education or my job. They cared more about my qualities than my pedigree. 2
Toodaloo Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 So unnecessarily snide It is absolutely obvious that if all somebody asks is what job you do you are not going to reply I WENT TO CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY As is obvious conversations tend to flow. A follow up question to "what job do you do?" Is often "did you have to go to school for that? Did you study here in London?" etc etc I took a young lass I am friends with out for a meal the other night. She had been waiting over 6 months for this celebratory meal bless her. It was ruined by some bore/ snob of a woman in her mid 30's going on about how dull her loaded boyfriend who is supporting her is and how is she going to live if she dumps him... she then went on about how well educated she was but how no one told her how hard it would be to get a job in the real world and how no one understands what its like for her and how hard her life is *sitting by the pool her boyfriend built*... Completely ruined the meal for the young lass I was with who is being offered scholarships to some of the very best British Universities because she works so hard, on top of bringing up her two young brothers and sorting out the house... The bore also got kicked out and the people she was with went round and apologised to everyone for her terrible behaviour... OP turn people down for what ever reason you want. Its not a contest. I would however warn you that there are some extremely bright construction workers out there. Granted there are some that are as thick as can be but many of them are well educated etc. They just like to build things and mess about with the lads. I know many extraordinarily wealthy men who started out laying bricks. Now they just do it for fun. There are men who will tease you for going to Cambridge (because actually they are Oxford men and are waiting for you to bother asking)... Nothing is ever obvious. Did I think I was snogging an Olympic boxer last Thursday? Nope. But if you don't like it then don't go there. These men will not be the ones that would suit you I can guarantee that. 1
losangelena Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I agree. I have met interesting men on all sides of the spectrum. I wouldn't next a guy just because he didn't have a masters degree like I do. But I would next a guy for making sarcastic comments about my achievements. That's almost like negging, right? I was called "elitist" once by a guy in a bar. I'm sure he thought he was just "joking" and that I was one of those b*tches who "couldn't take a joke," but I put him on ice pretty quickly after that. I can understand it if someone is intimidated by the idea that OP went to Cambridge, but not to the degree that they have to tear her down or insinuate that she's "stuck up." 1
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