haylien Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I have been with my boyfriend for seven months we have been living together for five he was talking to his dad and his dad said something to the effect of him moving back in at first my boyfriend asked if he could bring me and our dog that we got about two months ago his dad naturally said no when he brought the idea up to me of him staying at his dad for a week or two he tried to rationalize it as I would be saving money since I wouldn't have to pay my parents so much for us to live there ( since he is currently looking for another job) he said it would be strictly to benefit the relationship since he have been fighting so much lately and said its not like we are breaking up or not able to see eachother my view is that if you are going to move out and still be with me why not stay with me when we first got together we were both finishing our last year of high school and as soon as the school year ended he was enthusiastic to move in with me he just wanted to be with me all the time and I am scared to death that he doesn't love me anymore and this is the only way he can think to leave without my family hating him im hoping im just being paranoid because I don't want to lose him I am trying my hardest to keep us together
ExpatInItaly Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Oh dear. Sorry girl, but I just don't think he's ready for the type of commitment you would like. It sounds like you moved in together far too early. I think he's realizing he doesn't want to get so serious so fast. How old are you both? 2
Toodaloo Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I agree with Expat. You guys put yourselves under way too much pressure way too soon. You sound young. I think you need to go back to your own parents for a bit. Save up so you are more financially stable and then go from there. There is nothing worse than a bucket load of financial worries when you are young and in what is a very new relationship. Sorry OP but I think this one is done. As soon as one walks out of the door it tends to mean it is over. You guys have already been arguing so its not been peaches and cream. Give yourself time and make sure you spend time with friends and family. Look after that dog of yours and go from there. 2
sandylee1 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I think it's a good idea actually. Living together , but with one set of parents isn't great. You need your own space and independence. You don't need to be in each others pockets. I wouldn't have my daughters bf living with us. When you want to live together, you should be able to afford it on your own , otherwise you're not ready to do it. It also allows the other to go home and cool down after an argument. 1
Art_Critic Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 you can never take away a benefit once it was given... you cannot move apart and him live with someone else (parents) and it NOT be a breakup, sorry if a separation is needed at the 5 month mark then it is a sign of incompatibility
Maggie4 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You have a better chance of keeping him if you lived apart. You moved in right after high school, so what... you each brought your toys from your rooms at the parents' house? This makes you seem more like a sister or roommate to him. Where is the mystery? By the way, getting a dog means having to walk the dog for the next 10 years or so, and it's hard to find an apartment that allows dogs.
kendahke Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 (edited) this is the only way he can think to leave without my family hating him Is it because of financial reasons that he's moving back in with his family? Seems to me your family would understand that and welcome it because they wouldn't be supporting him and you wouldn't be supporting him while he's unemployed looking for work, which is what I would think your family would be angrier over than him leaving. im hoping im just being paranoid because I don't want to lose him I am trying my hardest to keep us together How does him living with his dad cause you two not to be together? It doesn't. Perhaps you should dial back the selfishness and try to see things from his perspective. He might not be ready for what you envision "being together" means. Edited September 18, 2015 by kendahke
d0nnivain Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Your decision to move in with him after only knowing him for 60 days (2 months) was rash & poorly thought through. After having played house for 5 months & realizing that you can't live in love, your BF seems to have come to terms with some harsh economic realities. Let him move back to his parents. If you don't want to live with your parents, that is fine but do things to be able to financially support yourself. From that healthy place, take some time to get to know your BF as a person. Build a healthy relationship. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Your decision to move in with him after only knowing him for 60 days (2 months) was rash & poorly thought through. After having played house for 5 months & realizing that you can't live in love, your BF seems to have come to terms with some harsh economic realities.. Well the kid wasn't working and letting his girlfriend pay their room and board, so I guess 'love' is ALL he was living on - and it still wasn't enough. The writing's on the wall. He's moving back to daddy's. Seriously OP, next time, don't move someone into your parent's house. If you want to live with someone, get your own place together. And MOST importantly, don't support some guy who cant even put in an honest day's work and has no problem letting YOU support him. Use better judgment next time. 1
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