Do most men continue to talk to their exs for almost 2 years after their break up

[Soconfused0210]

So I've been very confused the past few months. I dated-lets call him Bob- for 2 1/2 years. We went through a lot of things together and I was the one to end things. Even after our break up we were still doing couple things and hooking up. For the next year. We went through a few months (3 months) of not hooking up because he was "in love" with a girl who was married. He recently relocated to the city I live in- which is 4 hours from where we originally lived. He called me the first night he moved here and suggested hanging out. He was here for almost 2 1/2 weeks before he made the time to come hang out with me and he spent the night- but he does this new thing where he has shut down and hardly text me back. Should I just let him go even though I want to start over? Do most men continue to talk to their exs for almost 2 years after their break up and try to see and hang out with them?

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Not usually. He sounds more like an ongoing FWB situation. Nothing wrong with that if it's mutually fulfilling. What are you looking for?

[Soconfused0210]

I'm not really sure what i'm looking for- I just know it's more than hooking up but then it's like he gets scared and shuts down. I wouldn't mind starting out as FWB

[popcornpuff]

I wouldn't mind starting out as FWB

 

Starting out as FWB? Men typically don't want their FWB to go farther than that. If you start out as FWB with him, chances are you will stay FWB.

[warshaw]

I'm not really sure what i'm looking for- I just know it's more than hooking up but then it's like he gets scared and shuts down. I wouldn't mind starting out as FWB

 

Doesn't seem like he's on the same page as you are.

[TaraMaiden2]

Doesn't seem like he's on the same page as you are.

...

But he's quite happy to be in the same bed.

 

I doubt very much - having already dated you and come out of that situation - that he would date you again, particularly as he also had a liaison with a married woman.

I hate to say it, but the guy just sounds (on the face of it, which is very little, admittedly) as if he's just out for whatever he can get.

 

You're "familiar territory". He's safe with you, because he's assuming you're ok with this and will make no other demands on him. Been there, done that, didn't work - right?

 

If you're ok being his current mode of sexual satisfaction (until he meets another opportunity) then by all means carry on.

 

If you want 'more' - I doubt he will give it to you.

And seriously - with someone like this, you'd want 'more'...?

After he happily had an affair with a married woman?

 

Not good ground to build on...

[Soconfused0210]

He was a good guy and still is- everyone is entitled to mistakes. The married woman- was someone he was fooling around with when her and her then boyfriend were on a break. The girl ended up back with her bf and they got engaged and married- My ex couldn't let her go as he claims and continued the affair- even though I wouldn't even really call it that since the girl was a christian and wouldn't sleep with my ex. There were physical factors but sex wasn't on the table. My judgement was clouded because of our past and I have gladly told him to screw off since this post but I do see your point of view.

[craw]

If he really is a decent man, he wouldn't be playing around with your emotions.

 

Let him go.

[Miss Peach]

I would go no contact in your situation. He's just messing with your emotions IMO.

 

I have kept in contact with 2 exes - one due to kids. The other I took a NC break before resuming a friendship. We make good buddies but our values and wants are so different we make horrible anything else. But this guy has truly been a friend and has helped me with a lot of things. I would count what most guys who when they suggest being 'friends' as being a real friend. With those guys I keep the door tightly shut.