sheberiding Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I am pondering a situation that occurred with my girlfriend after had been living together for just over a year. The evidence points to the possibility of her having a threesome with her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. It looks on the the surface anyways that she had a threesome with them because: 1. She wanted to go out for drinks with me and them but I wasn't to fond of the other guy so I said no. This made her very mad and she was angry at me when she left. 2. She got drunk. She called me and told me she was totally drunk. 3. She stayed out all night and never came home. She called me at 230 in the morning to inform me she was going to spend the night at her best friends. The tone of her voice indicated she was still mad at me. 4. Next day she came home at noon. Her tone had changed and she was nice and sheepish, unusual for someone who normally carries anger for a long time. 5. When we discussed the evening with her friends there was no mention of any offers of a threesome or any discussion about anything unusual. She lied by omission when talking about her night to me. I found out by accident. When her friend was over and she started talking about it and then discovered I was home. She said guess what "my friend asked me to have a threesome with her boyfriend and.." when she realized I was there and went into denial mode. This led to a huge fight. 6. She had a huge female crush on her best friend and would always talk about how beautiful she was. I later learned that they both were asking her to join them for the threesome. She always seemed to be led by this person. 7. Her best friend was planning a wedding and my gf was supposed to be the maid of honor but instead her best friend threw her out of the wedding party and ended their friendship. My thought around this is who wants to be in a wedding party with a maid of honor who slept with the bride and groom. This happened very shortly after I found out maybe two weeks later. I have done a lot of research on this topic and I have learned that apparently women who engage in threesomes with their close female friends almost always destroy the friendship. I have discussed it with her and she strongly denies that she had a threesome and is angry when I tell her a small part of me thinks she did it. However, cheaters always lie even in the face of overwhelming evidence. The number of facts point to a very strong possibility that she did in fact have sex with them that night. I will always have some doubt in my mind about her regarding this matter even though I really want to believe her 100%. I will never be able to believe her 100% and will always resent her for the doubt she has created. I know what my choices are and I chose to stay. I know what this entails. Please tell me: do you think she did it?
harrybrown Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You are not married to her. Do you have children together? If not, you are lucky you found out now. Listen to what was said when they did not think you were there. She did it. Get tested for stds. Time to move on. 1
qubist Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I am pondering a situation that occurred with my girlfriend after had been living together for just over a year. The evidence points to the possibility of her having a threesome with her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. It looks on the the surface anyways that she had a threesome with them because: 1. She wanted to go out for drinks with me and them but I wasn't to fond of the other guy so I said no. This made her very mad and she was angry at me when she left. 2. She got drunk. She called me and told me she was totally drunk. 3. She stayed out all night and never came home. She called me at 230 in the morning to inform me she was going to spend the night at her best friends. The tone of her voice indicated she was still mad at me. 4. Next day she came home at noon. Her tone had changed and she was nice and sheepish, unusual for someone who normally carries anger for a long time. 5. When we discussed the evening with her friends there was no mention of any offers of a threesome or any discussion about anything unusual. She lied by omission when talking about her night to me. I found out by accident. When her friend was over and she started talking about it and then discovered I was home. She said guess what "my friend asked me to have a threesome with her boyfriend and.." when she realized I was there and went into denial mode. This led to a huge fight. 6. She had a huge female crush on her best friend and would always talk about how beautiful she was. I later learned that they both were asking her to join them for the threesome. She always seemed to be led by this person. 7. Her best friend was planning a wedding and my gf was supposed to be the maid of honor but instead her best friend threw her out of the wedding party and ended their friendship. My thought around this is who wants to be in a wedding party with a maid of honor who slept with the bride and groom. This happened very shortly after I found out maybe two weeks later. I have done a lot of research on this topic and I have learned that apparently women who engage in threesomes with their close female friends almost always destroy the friendship. I have discussed it with her and she strongly denies that she had a threesome and is angry when I tell her a small part of me thinks she did it. However, cheaters always lie even in the face of overwhelming evidence. The number of facts point to a very strong possibility that she did in fact have sex with them that night. I will always have some doubt in my mind about her regarding this matter even though I really want to believe her 100%. I will never be able to believe her 100% and will always resent her for the doubt she has created. I know what my choices are and I chose to stay. I know what this entails. Please tell me: do you think she did it? unfortunately, nobody in the word can answer your question except the 3 of them. your problem is you can't prove it but yet you can't prove it didn't happen. if you have hard time letting it go you going to have to do some thing about it. how about asking the other 2 involved her friend and the her guy if you still in contact with them. or ask her to take a polygraph test, which may just end your relationship any way if she feels you are that insecure. there is another way is to leave her and ask her to prove that nothing happen 3
m.snow Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 your not married? great? if your still getting it from her and having fun together. why not keep her for now. but you know you cant trust her now so don't think about marriage. trust your gut instinct. there was a confession.
Big Richard Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Is this a former GF or a side GF? The reason I ask is because of your previous thread below about your "Wife in crisis". So I just want to start this off by saying I am cool with my wife's sexual past and have no retro-jealousy around the dudes she's slept with and never ask her about her numbers. However, she recently insisted I attend a birthday party for our neighbors kids as their children and our kids are friends, so I thought. Before we went in their house she told me it was going to a bit awkward because this guy she made out with and gave a hand job to was a friend of our neighbor and he would be there also. Now. I really resent having to meet the man she gave a hand job to at some party way back when. I am angry that she insisted on me going so she would feel more comfortable if he saw she was married. I ended up *having to shake this short fat bozo's hand and it just made me angry because this is something I would never ask her to do and I know from past experience that not only would she not go to a social event where there was an ex of mine she didn't let me go. However, this was a guy from a party not even a relationship so I'm sure she felt bad. Again my kids are there, this guy, his wife all thinking the same thing, I know because my neighbor told me afterwards. He told me that this bozo also got oral and had sex with my wife that night. Again the past is the past but I have boundaries and I let my wife know I didn't appreciate having to be there. We discussed and I further had to deal her emotional break down around how this is effecting her marriage. I explained that's not why I'm pissed at her but rather I just didn't appreciate being around this guy and that I believe her when she said it was just a hand job but she didn't really get it. In either case, with the information you've provided here, there is no way I personally could say with absolute certainty if she did participate in a threesome or not. Since it's obviously bothering you, have you tried talking with the friend that dropped her as the maid of honor, and ended the friendship? I'd start with her friend if you really want to know the truth. Good luck!
clam Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Call the friend or the boyfriend, tell them you know what happened. Maybe one of them will spill the beans.
coryreply Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I will never be able to believe her 100% and will always resent her for the doubt she has created. I know what my choices are and I chose to stay. I know what this entails. This is what worries about your situation. You're choosing to stay, but you say you will always resent her. If you stay, you need to work through this with her and move on.
TrustedthenBusted Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You've started two threads. One about your "girlfriend" and a possible threesome. Another about your wife. We talking about the same person here? 4
Chrisstro6692 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 My first question for you is, Why in the hell would you want to be with someone like this? Would you want someone like this to be the mother of your children. Ive been married 23 years and if I found out my wife had done something like that, I would divorce her. Dump her ass I find a girl with some morals. She is not worth your time. You have all the answers that you need. Why don't you go to her friend and ask what happened, maybe even get her friend and her and her friends fiancé all in the same room and ask them. Be a freaking man about it and stop pussy footing around with this. If you don't then it will drive you crazy as long as you are with her. Good Luck 1
Morro72 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 The question isn't whether she "did it" but whether any of the people in the OP's scenario are sufficiently mature to be engaging in any sort of long-term relationship, marriage or otherwise. That's true regardless of the chronological ages of any the people involved.
starpower Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You've started two threads. One about your "girlfriend" and a possible threesome. Another about your wife. We talking about the same person here? Good question, I was thinking the same.
Author sheberiding Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 (edited) Good question, I was thinking the same. Yes I did marry her. This has always bothered me and I am interested in what other think. Please don't post: "is she a good wife now and all that matters is now statements." I am interested in what others think about this specifically. Edited September 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
drifter777 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 However, cheaters always lie even in the face of overwhelming evidence. The number of facts point to a very strong possibility that she did in fact have sex with them that night. I will always have some doubt in my mind about her regarding this matter even though I really want to believe her 100%. I will never be able to believe her 100% and will always resent her for the doubt she has created. I know what my choices are and I chose to stay. I know what this entails. Please tell me: do you think she did it? Yes, I think she did it but I also think - why are you making a big deal out of it? You knew she had a very lively sexual past and you've said you don't care about any of it. Well, this is who she is and you either accept it your you don't. You say that you choose to stay without knowing one way or another if she did it (them). Ok - then move on and stop digging around in this before you find something out that you wish you never knew. 2
Author sheberiding Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 Yes, I think she did it but I also think - why are you making a big deal out of it? You knew she had a very lively sexual past and you've said you don't care about any of it. Well, this is who she is and you either accept it your you don't. You say that you choose to stay without knowing one way or another if she did it (them). Ok - then move on and stop digging around in this before you find something out that you wish you never knew. Thanks for you opinion on whether the evidence points to a yes or no she did it. At this point, that's all I'm interested in. I have my reasons for thinking about it. And with respect to your opinion on what you think I should feel and do, that is so stock here it's almost funny. I didn't ask forr it. My favorite is the past is the past. lol
road Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 unfortunately, nobody in the word can answer your question except the 3 of them. your problem is you can't prove it but yet you can't prove it didn't happen. if you have hard time letting it go you going to have to do some thing about it. how about asking the other 2 involved her friend and the her guy if you still in contact with them. or ask her to take a polygraph test, which may just end your relationship any way if she feels you are that insecure. there is another way is to leave her and ask her to prove that nothing happen I would ask the other couple. Though I would not be able to believe their denials. Tell your GF that she has to take a poly. Though if you find out that she did have the threesome or cheated you should then dump her. For I have seen to may cheating GF's become WW's after they married the BF that they cheated on. 1
road Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Yes I did marry her. This has always bothered me and I am interested in what other think. Please don't post: "is she a good wife now and all that matters is now statements." I am interested in what others think about this specifically. This was an issue that needed to be dealt with before you married her. What will you do if you find out your GF/WW had that threesome? 1
nightmare01 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I would ask the other couple. Though I would not be able to believe their denials. Tell your GF that she has to take a poly. Though if you find out that she did have the threesome or cheated you should then dump her. For I have seen to may cheating GF's become WW's after they married the BF that they cheated on. She is giving you red flags - warning signs. She is DEFINITELY NOT marriage material.
Author sheberiding Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 I would ask the other couple. Though I would not be able to believe their denials. Tell your GF that she has to take a poly. Though if you find out that she did have the threesome or cheated you should then dump her. For I have seen to may cheating GF's become WW's after they married the BF that they cheated on. The problem is they broke up, which I have learned through research on this subject happens to almost 90% of couples who engage in threesomes. So they all hate each other, who can I believe? Her best former best friend is not above saying yes just to mess up our relationship and her former boyfriend is even worse.
Author sheberiding Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 This was an issue that needed to be dealt with before you married her. What will you do if you find out your GF/WW had that threesome? You are absolutely correct-I should have dealt with it before the marriage. If I found out that it did happen I'm not sure what I would do. Her denial about it was so strong and adamant when I brought it up two weeks ago, she almost convinced me. I know cheaters lie even if they are caught red handed I might be more angry about that than anything else. I think I would end the marriage though.
Author sheberiding Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 She is giving you red flags - warning signs. She is DEFINITELY NOT marriage material. I feel like I am in a weird predicament because to me this threesome did happen because of the evidence and didn't happen because of her emotional denial. In order to remain in the relationship, I assumed it happened and did what I had to do to move on. I was just wondering what others thought about this evidence? Did she do it? Seems like most people think she is guilty.
road Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I feel like I am in a weird predicament because to me this threesome did happen because of the evidence and didn't happen because of her emotional denial. In order to remain in the relationship, I assumed it happened and did what I had to do to move on. I was just wondering what others thought about this evidence? Did she do it? Seems like most people think she is guilty. I think that she did it. What is your thought on having your WW take a polygraph test? Why not approach her?
starpower Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 What was the time period between that suspicious night out and when you over heard them talking about a threesome?
Poutrew Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 You are absolutely correct-I should have dealt with it before the marriage. If I found out that it did happen I'm not sure what I would do. Her denial about it was so strong and adamant when I brought it up two weeks ago, she almost convinced me. I know cheaters lie even if they are caught red handed I might be more angry about that than anything else. I think I would end the marriage though. It has been my experience that the more 'agitated' the response to your question was, the more likely it is that she did something she doesn't want you to find out about. Her response to your question ought to have been one of calm acceptance. She knows it is something that is important to you so she should be doing everything and anything to reassure you that nothing happened. She can't do that because it did happen and she is afraid you'll dump her. Hence the obfuscation of agitation. If she is bisexual, and she is if she was in bed with another woman, then that is something you need to either accept, or divorce her. She can't change who she is, and this side of her nature will surface in other ways, possibly leading to same sex relationships behind your back - can you tolerate this? Are you sure you want to be sitting alone in the living room reading a magazine late at night, while your wife is getting her rocks off with her latest lesbian lover in your bed? That scenario wont end well if you go by many of the 'bicurious' postings that appear here from time to time.
Cali408 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 You have 3 choices here. 1. Dump her because you don't trust her. 2. Let it go and stay with her 3. Have her friend reciprocate the threesome with you. I'd opt for number 3.
Author sheberiding Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 I think that she did it. What is your thought on having your WW take a polygraph test? Why not approach her? That is probably the only real way to get to the bottom of it. I am thinking about it.
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