autumnnight Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I prefer self defecating humor. It has to be reeeeeeeeally funny to meet that standard. Oh Poo! hahahahaha
preraph Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 I prefer boastful, but only if they can back it up. I like arrogance because I often view it as striving to be better, you know, faking it to make it. I like the swagger.
Author kilgore Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 To me, bragging about something usually means you haven't really done that thing at all or maybe just done it poorly
casey.lives Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 Some people think bragging is confidence... so you talk to them that way. Some people think self- deprecation is what the person they are talking to wants to hear. ie : yes, im a loser. stop bullying me.. so.. communication is a tricky thing.. words are words. i honestly think we put too much stalk in words.
jen1447 Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 communication is a tricky thing.. words are words. i honestly think we put too much stalk in words. Less stalk, more leaf?
autumnnight Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I am confident, but I do not go around talking about what I've done and what I am good at because IMO it's just....bad manners? 1
MissBee Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 (edited) Is it better to be self deprecating or boastful? Thoughts? They are both extremes. But boastful is the lesser of the two evils for me personally. I have a friend who is self-deprecating and it's VERY annoying. She is a killjoy in the truest sense. She is constantly anxious, constantly apologizing, she says sorry like 50 times in a conversation (not exaggerating), she always thinks everyone hates her, always is just down on herself and it really just sucks the life out of me, I always feel like I'm having to constantly reassure her and it's just emotionally very draining as there is nowhere to go from there...it's not fun. Boastful people are irritating but I don't feel like I have to coddle and coax them and they are at least a little livelier to be around and I find their antics comical if I'm not taking them seriously, I can be more detached from their behaviors, whereas self-deprecating is just....sad and it also is usually accompanied by a kind of obvious feeling of being drained. Edited September 25, 2015 by MissBee 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I think guys who are inclined towards brutal self awareness are more interesting to deal with and talk to. They're usually a lot more hilarious, original and insightful in their banter than your average cocky salesman type. Obviously it's important that the brutal self awareness doesn't pull them into a dark place they can't pull themselves out of - but if they've channeled themselves into accomplishing things that build their confidence, and have retained a bit of that brutally self aware edge - I think that's the best kind of guy really. They're not generally looking for reassurance, I don't think. People who think they are just aren't getting it. What they're looking for is somebody who will laugh with them, appreciate their insight and be able to provide some insight and brutal self awareness of their own. Same with women who gravitate towards that temperament. Exactly this. They are the best kind of people. I dislike self-depreciating in a depressing way but in a funny way, bring it on I will usually share a few anecdotes of my own. Boastful, cocky, salesman-y types are . I am so repelled by these types that I can't even see myself befriending someone like that let alone date them. I have to say that US and now Australia is more and more encouraging this type of boastfulness and "confidence". The vibe is very different in Europe. It's actually far more confident to be honest about your shortcomings. 2
Tayla Posted September 25, 2015 Posted September 25, 2015 I find a dash of self awareness and admitting my flaws to be more true to living. so if self deprecating at my own follies is a downer, so be it. Give me humble any day! Many a laugh has come from those moments! Boastful ppl have a distorted sense of self at the cost of anyone gullible enough to listen. I've yet to be intrigued or impressed by such a trait.
regine_phalange Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 When someone's self-deprecating (without joking) I think "do I need to cheer him up now? I'm not good at this" When someone's boastful (without joking) I think "what an idiot!". I love accomplished humble people. I just love them!
regine_phalange Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I have to say that US and now Australia is more and more encouraging this type of boastfulness and "confidence". I don't think it's true for all australians, but the other day I had to accommodate some greek relative who grew up in Australia (it's a long story how I happened to accommodate him). Well, we spent 2 days in each others company. These 2 days he talked nonstop about himself. At some point I stopped paying attention and was daydreaming about other things (he never noticed). At the end of the second day we met with some other greek australians, who knew how to carry a conversation. They asked me what do I do in life and when I told them then my relative said "REALLY?". After two days he didn't know what my studies and job is. And he didn't remember my first name! I think that says it all. 1
GravityMan Posted September 27, 2015 Posted September 27, 2015 Braggadocious = arrogant and pretentious. In other words, a**hole. Arrogant and pretentious people usually aren't well-liked. Such people are also masking their deep insecurity with their braggadocio. Some of them may do pretty well in life (heck, some of the most successful people out there are arrogant), but their track record in maintaining CLOSE friendships generally isn't all that good. Self-deprecating can be fine under the following conditions: - Done in moderation. Modesty is good, but it's OK to give yourself a little pat on the back from time to time. - Done in a lighthearted context, where it's obvious that you're just either being modest and/or kidding around...instead of truly being down on yourself. If the other person responds by seriously reassuring you, then that's a sign that they can see through your self-deprecation facade and tell that you're actually bothered with yourself. Or it's a sign that they felt you were unnecessarily too modest at the wrong time...perhaps they sensed that you were a bit embarrassed and felt that you had no need to be embarrassed. It's one thing to be self-deprecating every once in awhile. It's another to beat yourself up. The latter is a strong symptom of low self-esteem and emotional instability. A middle ground is usually best. A bit of lighthearted self-deprecation here, a bit of tongue-in-cheek boastfulness there. In cases where you deservedly received some award, it's fine to just accept the reward, thank the issuer and then go on about your business. In cases where you screwed up (perhaps you did something that bothered your girlfriend for instance)...take responsibility, but also deal with the screwup in an appropriate manner and then turn the page. Don't dwell on it too long. People who are genuinely being themselves (i.e. they're real) and unafraid to loosen up and express themselves are often pretty likable, especially if combined with a sense of humor, empathy and a decent moral and ethical compass. In other words, self-confidence. You're human; everyone sane knows that nobody's perfect. You'll do good things, make severe mistakes, do silly actions, say hilarious things, deal with conflict, piss off people, and on and on.
carhill Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Is it better to be self deprecating or boastful? Thoughts? All else being equal, IME boastful people are generally more socially popular and powerful. "Better"? IDK. We each have our individual definition of what better is. Much revolves around how attractive the person is and how they boast. Boasting is, or can be, a fine art, as can self-deprecation. Still, noise gets heard. Opinion may vary on the quality of the sound but it's sound nonetheless. Watch Donald Trump's campaign for clues.
SammySammy Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 They are two sides of the same pretentious coin. I don't believe either is beneficial long-term.
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