He is leaving in a week. Do I tell him that I will miss him & ask about his feelings?

[sandy123]

I have known this man for the last 5 months. We work together, so we started to get to know each other well. Around 3 months ago, he told me that he was accepting a transfer to one of the company's offices overseas. The transfer would happen in the Fall.

 

We continued to talk and flirt and became closer (texting, calling, hanging out a few times outside of work, etc.). He's said numerous times that he is attracted to me and asked me out on a date. However, I knew he was leaving soon, so I did not want to pursue anything, especially knowing that I was already emotionally attached to him.

 

I have spent the last month crying to myself because of him leaving. I have never felt this connection with anyone before, and I will miss him like crazy. There's a great chance that we will never see each other in person again.

 

We have avoided discussing what happens next because we know we will be thousands of miles apart. If we had been a couple before the transfer, it would be different.

 

Also, over the last few days, I have sensed him pulling away from me emotionally. He still smiles and chats with me, but it is more limited and surface-level. It scares me that he may just totally cut contact with me after he is gone. It's a real possibility, I know, because he will be in another city, be busy with work, etc.

 

I feel like I need closure in order to put my feelings for him behind me regardless of whether we remain in contact. I want to tell him that I will miss him a lot, and I want to ask him if his feelings for me are only attraction. It may not make a difference, but I want to know once and for all if he has deeper feelings for me.

 

Should I tell him about how much I will miss him? Ask him if he actually has strong feelings for me? If I do, what should I say without sounding pathetic?

 

Or do I just wish him the best, simply say I will miss him, and never have closure?

Edited September 18, 2015 by sandy123

[mystikmind2005]

I often ask people in situations like this what would they do if they imagined totally removing all fear from the equation?

 

What would you do?

[sandy123]

I often ask people in situations like this what would they do if they imagined totally removing all fear from the equation?

 

What would you do?

 

If I removed all fear, I would ask him both questions.

 

Thank you.