sid3 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Well if you had got me off in a matter of seconds I'd have already been showing up on your door with flowers. Teasing aside. This guy just being embarrassed really doesn't cut it. I mean seriously, I have to wonder why he isn't coming back for seconds(no pun intended). Not that it would be the right thing to do, but that's how most of us guys think, at least initially. It doesn't sound like you offended the guy whatsoever, it just sounds like he's a douche.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 Well if you had got me off in a matter of seconds I'd have already been showing up on your door with flowers. Teasing aside. This guy just being embarrassed really doesn't cut it. I mean seriously, I have to wonder why he isn't coming back for seconds(no pun intended). Not that it would be the right thing to do, but that's how most of us guys think, at least initially. It doesn't sound like you offended the guy whatsoever, it just sounds like he's a douche. Right and we had plans for today, so his seconds were even already lined up! What an idiot. He isnt just a jerk I mean he is actually pretty stupid as well.
Zippy2000 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 Im sorry it didnt happen and what a waste of 2 tickets. He hasnt made any move so its a no go from here. Sorry but that is crap. You deserve better! 1
Author rainrhonda Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 I think embarrasment may have been the initial kickstarter. But that he started to feel it was getting too close too quick. Then I reminded of him of plans, which further more drove him off. Maybe not exactly how it went, but something along those lines. With time people do bounce back from that, but since we had plans, I couldn't give him that time. Otherwise, I probably would have. I may not have been near as anxious and worried if we didn't have plans. But that doesn't mean he still wasn't going to disappear. As I said, this happens often. Guys will seem fine and happy the last time I see them, then vanish, refusing to explain. And I was happy last time they see me, too. So there is just no way of knowing why people do this, and think its okay, and don't care if it hurts people. Guys do not seem to mind hurting me at all.
sid3 Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 That's true to some degree. I think the same can be said for women too though. People get hurt all the time, regardless of the gender. It becomes something entirely different once intimacy becomes involved. I think, at least in my opinion, this guy should have given you something besides the ignore treatment. 1
Curious-One Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I would say he is probably feeling bad about himself and less confident then he was before. Also maybe hes worried same thing will happen next time. Only thing you can do is indirectly tell him it was not a big deal. I would suggest you shoot him a text something along this line... I miss your daily how i am doing texts...wink emojo...hope you are doing ok. That should help him feel better about himself and let him know that what happened that night was not a big deal and you are still interested in him.
losangelena Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 I would say he is probably feeling bad about himself and less confident then he was before. Also maybe hes worried same thing will happen next time. Only thing you can do is indirectly tell him it was not a big deal. I would suggest you shoot him a text something along this line... I miss your daily how i am doing texts...wink emojo...hope you are doing ok. That should help him feel better about himself and let him know that what happened that night was not a big deal and you are still interested in him. She's tried to reach out, though. Three times. And he still hasn't responded. I think that's probably enough trying on her part, don't you think? 2
Author rainrhonda Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 Yes, too late for me to let him know that was no big deal, etc. He knows I'm p*ssd.
Cinnamonstix Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 So my first instinct was that this guy was fading out. And it seems that is the case. Maybe he would have sprung back if given more space to initiate, who knows. But either way he doesn't sound worth your emotional turmoil. Now regarding the whole "maybe he is embarrassed" interpretation. To me, being embarrassed about his shortcomings is an irrelevant excuse for not being in contact. Though it's important to be compassionate and understanding, at the end of the day, it is up to him to get himself together. It is not your job to prop up someone else's self esteem. Bottom line: I would not send a guy that I'm not in a RS with sweet texts if he has gone quiet, in almost any circumstances. OP, regarding your own self-esteem, your vibe while interacting with others is likely indicating your level of confidence and thus leading to heartbreak, as we all know that confidence is super attractive and alluring. Perhaps take a break from dating and build yourself up.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 19, 2015 Author Posted September 19, 2015 I am always on a break from dating already...lol... months go by between dates for me. In those months I do everything alone, I do everything I like to do. But as soon as I decide someones company is nice to have, they leave.
mrs rubble Posted September 19, 2015 Posted September 19, 2015 He sounds like a complete jerk. I have read the whole thread...this guy is so selfish, he expects the favour returned!! He changes your plans without telling you and refuses to reply to your texts. I'd say you made a lucky escape!! Hopefully he'll end up with what he deserves. There's gotta be better out there for you. 1
brandonvogler Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I think it's something else because no one should be that embarrassed by busting a nut to early.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 I think it's something else because no one should be that embarrassed by busting a nut to early. Haha....he was super embarrassed...he said so twice at least...the next day he said good morning like usual...but then all he said was how tired he was (we were up too late). I knew he was going home right to sleep after work so I left him alone rest of the night. Following day, I said good morning first, and if he slept. He said yes that he slept alot but he was still tired. And that was the last thing he said to me.
sid3 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 I think it's something else because no one should be that embarrassed by busting a nut to early. That would be too early, and it was within seconds according to the OP. That's cause for extreme embarrassment, not the disappearance.
Leigh 87 Posted September 20, 2015 Posted September 20, 2015 Ummmm I've had men that came within seconds from sex. They didn't dissapear....... He just wasnt that into you and going around with you made that known to him..he may well nave liked you initially. Or maybe he sent out for sex the entire time, saw the goods and didn't like what Hebrew. Brutal but true. He is a rude jerk in any case. I've fooled airing with men I've dated and then realised I just wasn't feeling it. Becoming intimate sometimes makes it apparant that you lack an emotional connection. You can bet I rang them and ended things rather than fade out or dissapear
Author rainrhonda Posted September 20, 2015 Author Posted September 20, 2015 Well as I had said earlier, he happy when he left, and he was complimenting the action....mixed in with his embarrasment, of course. So if he was turned by me physically, he was good at hiding it. We had so much fun in those few dates though, and I am starting to miss him. It sounds dumb, but now I feel bad for sending the mean and mad text in the end. But I was just so upset. I miss him and hate this.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 25, 2015 Author Posted September 25, 2015 Update.... He sent me a message today. That he apologizes for his actions. That he likes me. And hopes I let him make it up to me. I just thanks and I could maybe deal with that. So now I will just let him make the next move. But he has been made aware once already I may have trouble trusting him. We will see
Oregon_Dude Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I wouldn't give him another chance. You went through enough stuff because of him already. He'd probably just disappear again.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 I want to give him another chance. But plan to keep walls up more, and not trust so easily. After I chewed him out from head to toe last week, I did not think he would feel bad like he does now. Usually that's when a guy writes me off for good. I think he needed time to think about what he wants, without realizing how hurtful it would be. He said that he did not use me and he really likes me. I have to consider the fact that I have never had someone tell me that after things like this. I am just going to hang back and let him do some work. He said it's all on him and he wants to make it up. So I would like to see how he does. I did like him a lot, I have missed his company. So one more is all he gets and he knows that I think
Celeste.Carol Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 I want to give him another chance. But plan to keep walls up more, and not trust so easily. After I chewed him out from head to toe last week, I did not think he would feel bad like he does now. Usually that's when a guy writes me off for good. I think he needed time to think about what he wants, without realizing how hurtful it would be. He said that he did not use me and he really likes me. I have to consider the fact that I have never had someone tell me that after things like this. I am just going to hang back and let him do some work. He said it's all on him and he wants to make it up. So I would like to see how he does. I did like him a lot, I have missed his company. So one more is all he gets and he knows that I think Rhonda if you really like this guy then you need to switch in that you are in charge now. Yelling and chewing him out will have no effect in the long run. Tell him you will put up with NO future BS. You value yourself and your time and you expect another person to respect that if they wish to remain in your company.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 Rhonda if you really like this guy then you need to switch in that you are in charge now. Yelling and chewing him out will have no effect in the long run. Tell him you will put up with NO future BS. You value yourself and your time and you expect another person to respect that if they wish to remain in your company. When I see him again I plan to make that clear. But yes I ended up feeling bad for saying mean things. I did try to say sorry for that and he told me that I shouldn't be. But I still felt bad.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 26, 2015 Author Posted September 26, 2015 And so the truth comes out! Today he said "I thought you hated me" Me. "I kinda did for a minute" Him "well that's how long I last". So I asked if that's what this was about, and not to let it bug him. He went on to tell me this is a sex problem for him, and that it makes him angry. So, I guess this is something we will have to deal with if we keep going. So apparently, that's what this what this has been about. Good grief...
MzLady Posted September 26, 2015 Posted September 26, 2015 He's probably just busy... I'd start worrying after day 3 of no contact. If you wanted to, you can just send him a text saying you're thinking of him and hope he is having a great day and leave it at that. One day is not enough to panic over.. I'm in a 5 day no contact situation myself at the moment.. I'm the one who should be worried LOL.. Just hang tight
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