rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Been seeing a guy I like alot for a couple weeks. He has taken me out alot so I had him over for dinner 2 nights ago. Things got hot and heavy on the couch, there wasnt going all the way but other things. Well, he got embarrased because he hit the grand finale very very fast. He kept saying he is embarrased but I said he shouldn't be. He has been married before too, and he was acting really surprised about it. He kissed me before he left. The next day he was very tired at work, so he wasn't texting as much as normal, went home and right to bed. So this morning I asked if he got sleep, and he responded. No word from him since. Last 2 days, his normal routine of asking how I am doing and etc, are totally absent, but he isn't ignoring me either. Normally by this time today he would ask how I'm doing. So is this because he is embarrased? Or did I do something else wrong?
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Aw, the poor baby is embarrassed that he blew his load in his pants, so he went pouting into the corner. Forget this one, he's straight out of American Pie. 1
Author rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Aw, the poor baby is embarrassed that he blew his load in his pants, so he went pouting into the corner. Forget this one, he's straight out of American Pie. So you really think he is avoiding me just because of this?
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Yes, I do. But who knows. I'd back way off and see if he contacts you. Pay attention to how you feel about things.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Yes, I do. But who knows. I'd back way off and see if he contacts you. Pay attention to how you feel about things. Yea after one exchange this morning, I,stopped texting. I mean what am I gonna do, bring it up and make him feel worse? Well, no. So all I can do is sit here and feel abandoned...grrrr.
sid3 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Did he really blow his load in his pants. God I hope not. Although if he did that just may be because he thinks you're super hot! Maybe a win IDK 1
losangelena Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Oh, god. Yeah, just wait. So guys are SO SENSITIVE about that kind of thing. I mean, I don't know, this, or things like this could happen fairly often—do you want to deal with a guy who disappears like this every time? I mean, I can see being especially embarrassed if it was y'all's first time doing anything, but I agree with OD, take this time to figure out for yourself what you want.
losangelena Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Yea after one exchange this morning, I,stopped texting. I mean what am I gonna do, bring it up and make him feel worse? Well, no. So all I can do is sit here and feel abandoned...grrrr. I would try to not take it THAT far if I were you. Just totally drop it. Do not ever make mention of it again, if he does come back. If you get another chance with him, be very receptive to his sexual advances to at least minimize his fear that it could happen again. And if this guy disappears because of this ... girl, you haven't been abandoned, you've been freed. 2
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Hon, you probably don't want a pre-ejaculating, passive-aggressive pouter as a boyfriend, anyway. Or maybe you do. Up to you. Now is the time to heed your red flags and dealbreakers.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Oh, god. Yeah, just wait. So guys are SO SENSITIVE about that kind of thing. I mean, I don't know, this, or things like this could happen fairly often—do you want to deal with a guy who disappears like this every time? I mean, I can see being especially embarrassed if it was y'all's first time doing anything, but I agree with OD, take this time to figure out for yourself what you want. Haha...no not in his pants...I mean we were fooling around...but I know what I want and that is to keep seeing him. We already had plans for this weekend. So,part of me wonders if he just thinks its all going too fast. I have never seen a guy so embarrased about this.
losangelena Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Haha...no not in his pants...I mean we were fooling around...but I know what I want and that is to keep seeing him. We already had plans for this weekend. So,part of me wonders if he just thinks its all going too fast. I have never seen a guy so embarrased about this. Was this your first time doing anything physical, though? I can see why he's so embarrassed; that was his first impression, so to speak, and he kind of blew it (no pun intended ...), so he's probably afraid that this is how you're going to think of him moving forward. That's a big deal for a guy. And well, of course keep seeing him if he comes back, but since it's only been a couple of weeks anyway, I'd try and not make him the center of your romantic world just yet. Because it could be that or a half-dozen other reasons that this guy has stopped reaching out.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Was this your first time doing anything physical, though? I can see why he's so embarrassed; that was his first impression, so to speak, and he kind of blew it (no pun intended ...), so he's probably afraid that this is how you're going to think of him moving forward. That's a big deal for a guy. And well, of course keep seeing him if he comes back, but since it's only been a couple of weeks anyway, I'd try and not make him the center of your romantic world just yet. Because it could be that or a half-dozen other reasons that this guy has stopped reaching out. Before this, just a lot of making out, really. So this is the most physical its been so far. I feel like he is less interested all of a sudden, and we have plans for 2 days away. I don't know when I,should assume its best to make plans with someone else. I'm so confused and annoyed right now.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Before this, just a lot of making out, really. So this is the most physical its been so far. I feel like he is less interested all of a sudden, and we have plans for 2 days away. I don't know when I,should assume its best to make plans with someone else. I'm so confused and annoyed right now.You're the woman. You have all the sexual power. If your needs aren't being met, and he's ignoring you, you go ahead and make other plans. You need to value yourself more. 1
losangelena Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Before this, just a lot of making out, really. So this is the most physical its been so far. I feel like he is less interested all of a sudden, and we have plans for 2 days away. I don't know when I,should assume its best to make plans with someone else. I'm so confused and annoyed right now. Understandable. I would be confused and annoyed as well. If I were you, I'd wait until the day you have plans and, if you haven't heard from him, I would reach out and ask if you're still on for that day. Don't be snarky, just ask plainly. He either won't follow up, or he will and you can use your next date to suss out his behavior. Hang in there. The first few weeks are always the most uncertain. 1
Author rainrhonda Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 You're the woman. You have all the sexual power. If your needs aren't being met, and he's ignoring you, you go ahead and make other plans. You need to value yourself more. Well he isn't ignoring me...but he is not acting the same, either. No more "how is your day going?" Or asking about me. And we have tickets to an event Saturday. So I can't wait until that day to find someone else. I will have to make calls if I dont hear from him by tomorrow
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 He's probably busy masturbating to increase his stamina. Let him contact you. Don't worry so much. 2
losangelena Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 No offense, but I think you are making a bit of a bigger issue of this that it needs to be. He is justifiably embarrassed by what happened and he suddenly is acting different. Try not to assume that this means gloom and doom. You say yourself that he's not ignoring you. If you need to confirm his participation by tomorrow, then reach out and confirm with him tomorrow. There's nothing wrong with that. In the meantime, just assume that everything will go according to plan. Furthermore, if you need to be with a guy who will show you a consistent type of attention, regardless of external factors that may have nothing to do with you, this may not be your guy. This is why it's important to not get too attached in the early weeks. Because you never know what will make someone f*ck off. Girlfriend, don't sweat this, it is not worth it.
Author rainrhonda Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 I understand why he was embarrased. But I am paying a price of feeling like its me who did something wrong And I don't wanna be pushy if he is feeling smothered or something right now. But we do have plans Saturday, guess I will just text him about it tomorrow. But even then I'm going to feel that something must be up, unless he starts acting like himself again. Its very odd for him that he has not texted me since this morning, its unusual so it makes me uneasy. Thanks.
sid3 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 You can be held accountable for his feeling embarrassed It's on him, no pun intended. 1
preraph Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Or he may just be done now that he feels he's conquered you, such as it was. 1
Oregon_Dude Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Or he may just be done now that he feels he's conquered you, such as it was.Yes, I always feel I have conquered them when I splooge an errant load all over their leg. 4
losangelena Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Good grief, YOU didn't do anything wrong! What could you have possibly done?! Men are capital S Sensitive about their sexual performance and it has about ZERO to do with you. I know it's hard, but that voice you hear, telling you his distance is your fault? Tell that voice to shut the hell up. Neither is you asking to confirm plans "wrong." If one supposedly mistimed text (asking for confirmation) is going to drive him away because he might feel smothered, this is not a man you want to be with! There is no magical combination of attitude and behavior that will make this man into someone he's not; at the end of the day, if he's going to flake he's going to flake. It's hard, but please go a bit easy on yourself. 1
losangelena Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Yes, I always feel I have conquered them when I splooge an errant load all over their leg. GUFFAW. If I was drinking something right now, I would have just ruined my computer keyboard. 3
sid3 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 It's hard. Pretty sure the theme of the thread is the exact opposite. 2
Author rainrhonda Posted September 18, 2015 Author Posted September 18, 2015 Good grief, YOU didn't do anything wrong! What could you have possibly done?! Men are capital S Sensitive about their sexual performance and it has about ZERO to do with you. I know it's hard, but that voice you hear, telling you his distance is your fault? Tell that voice to shut the hell up. Neither is you asking to confirm plans "wrong." If one supposedly mistimed text (asking for confirmation) is going to drive him away because he might feel smothered, this is not a man you want to be with! There is no magical combination of attitude and behavior that will make this man into someone he's not; at the end of the day, if he's going to flake he's going to flake. It's hard, but please go a bit easy on yourself. Well that makes me feel better. But if our plans follow through on Saturday, then I will be the distant one there, because I don't what the heck is going on with him for sure. I won't be in much of a affectionate mood anyway. Because this is not making me feel good at all, even if he is embarrased thats fine, but I feel shut out, that part of it isn't fair. And I'm not about to bring it up again or say, awww honey don't be embarrassed....no don't think so
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