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Do men have feelings for the women they lose their virginity to?

EricaH329

By EricaH329
in General Relationship Discussion

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EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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I know there are many different situations and circumstances that can alter ones perspective on this, but in general do men have feelings for the women they lost their virginity to?

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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What do you mean?

 

Are you asking if when a man has sex for the first time it's always with someone he has feelings for?

 

Or are you asking if a man will "forever" have feelings for the woman he lost his virginity to?

 

 

To both of those: there is no rule. Some men have sex for the first time with people they have no strong feelings for, just like some women. The guy I lost my virginity to wasn't someone I was in love with or ever became in love with. Similarly for men that may also be the case. They also might lose it to someone they do love or have feelings for. But even if a man had feelings for her at the time, no it doesn't mean he always will.

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GorillaTheater Established Member

GorillaTheater

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I'll second Miss Bee. I can't say that I had any strong feelings towards the girl I lost my virginity to. Hell, I was just a kid myself.

 

That said, I'll always remember her name, if for no other reason than it was a pretty momentous event in my young life. When I think of her, it's not with "feelings" per se, but certainly with a degree of fondness.

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EricaH329 Established Member

EricaH329

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What do you mean?

 

Are you asking if when a man has sex for the first time it's always with someone he has feelings for?

 

Or are you asking if a man will "forever" have feelings for the woman he lost his virginity to?

 

 

To both of those: there is no rule. Some men have sex for the first time with people they have no strong feelings for, just like some women. The guy I lost my virginity to wasn't someone I was in love with or ever became in love with. Similarly for men that may also be the case. They also might lose it to someone they do love or have feelings for. But even if a man had feelings for her at the time, no it doesn't mean he always will.

 

I suppose i'm just asking for everyones personal experience with it. I, too, have zero emotional attachment to the guy I lost my virginity to. But I do know some girls who still have feelings for the guy that took their virginity.

 

It'd be nice to hear a guys perspective.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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I have to go along with the others. I didn't realize I had initiated a virgin (he claims he told me that night, but it was 4 a.m. and drinking and all I remember is wishing he and his friend would go to bed. I was exhausted). So we were dating long-distance for awhile in the '70s, and I really liked him and he really liked me, but I am pretty sure neither of us was in love.

 

I moved out of state, completely lost track of him. Heard he was now a radio bigwig in my town back before the internet. Didn't try to talk to him or anything. Later, after the internet, I found his website and emailed him. So we're in our mid-50s by now because this is 30 years later. At dinner he says I'll always be special to him because I was his first, and then got mad when I didn't remember that. Oops. He's married and all and now moved out of state, but once in a blue moon he will touch base and reminisce a little.

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Got it Established Member

Got it

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Yes, I think my first (we were firsts together) also because we were in a relationship that continued to marriage. So that allow created a long term feelings/emotions towards the other.

 

But I don't think he has FEELINGS for me. We are divorced now, friends, but nothing more than platonic and a shared growing up history.

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kilgore Established Member

kilgore

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I suppose i'm just asking for everyones personal experience with it. I, too, have zero emotional attachment to the guy I lost my virginity to. But I do know some girls who still have feelings for the guy that took their virginity.

 

It'd be nice to hear a guys perspective.

 

I think I will always have a place in my heart for her - even though things ultimately ended badly and we haven't spoken in ages

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sheberiding Member

sheberiding

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Yes!!! I think about her a few times a week!!!

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loveflower Established Member

loveflower

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The guy I lost my virginity to wasn't someone I was in love with or ever became in love with.

 

How can you did it though?

 

I just don't think I can do it.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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How can you did it though?

 

I just don't think I can do it.

 

Lots of people do it.

 

There is a wide gap between liking someone and being in love.

 

Many people have sex everyday with people they do not love. Like? Sure. Attracted to? Yep. But I'd say the majority of people often have sex with people they are not in love with.

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Harradin Established Member

Harradin

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Lost my virginity on a night out.

 

Don't really think about it tbh, emotions weren't involved.

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Lady2163 Established Member

Lady2163

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Well, I've only been with one man who was a virgin. We hadn't talked in 22 years.

 

Just got off the phone with him...since we talked for close to 90 minutes, I'd say it's possible for men to have fond memories of their first....

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lino Established Member

lino

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Not in my case. Bad memory for me.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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I'm a woman but your Q does not have a universal answer. Some will have feelings for her because it was in a long term relationship. Some won't because it was with a prostitute or hook up. Some won't even remember her name because it was a drunken ONS. Others have memories like the ones being shared here: soft spot, remember her name but not much else.

loveflower Established Member

loveflower

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But the Q is: isn't it suppose to mean something to us?

understand50 Established Member

understand50

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I married her, and after 40 plus years, YES.

 

Look every guy is different, and I think most Teenage boys are just looking to get laid, so the real answer is - It depends on how and who.

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loverage21 Established Member

loverage21

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Somewhat, yes. But it was two months ago. And it was a weekend fling sort of thing.

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bcnguy Member

bcnguy

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OP It's not about the action itself, but the situation/conditions in the R that lead to it...so everybody will be different.

 

Some will still love and remain in that very same R. Most won't. But if it was out of love they likely treasure very fond memories...

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Trane Established Member

Trane

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LOL, that was a long time ago and I'm trying to picture her now.

 

I can't say I honestly have feeling because it wasn't that memorable.

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lovemetobits Member

lovemetobits

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I think it depends on what kind of girl they've lost it to, as well as the relationship status that they had. :)

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RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

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Oh gosh, I hope not! I don't have many regrets - but that was a drunken night that probably shouldn't have happened.

 

My college roommate wasn't so thrilled that I apparently took the virginity of her friend / guy she was dating.

 

I remember his first name still... Hahah never even knew his last name.

 

As for the guy I lost mine too... No lasting feelings, I don't know if I had "feelings" for him back then even. He was cute, had the same interests, we had fun dating, but I never loved him.

 

I will say, I do respect him though, I was never pressured, and he took his time and genuinely seemed to put me first, wanted to make sure it was a good experience for me. So props to him. Heard lots of not so great stories from my other teenager friends back then - glad mine wasn't like that (or like the drunk college night with the dude that lost his to me).

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