Jc396 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Well we were together for 5 years and each other's first relationship. As expected of first loves, we were young and it didn't work out. Well he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago due to me having self confidence issues and him being unhappy. I have been in no contact for almost 2 weeks. I didn't handle the breakup maturely at first. I did everything that you are not supposed to do like begging, pleading, etc. all of which pushed him further away and led to him unfriending me on Facebook. After five years he completely cut me out of his life when I feel like my self confidence issues dosent warrant him treating me so coldly. I wasn't that bad of a girlfriend. I hope one day he realizes that. Well today is his birthday and since the breakup is still pretty fresh, I want to wish him a happy birthday. I don't know if it's the right decision to do that though. I still love him and I care about him but I am angry at how he just threw everything away. Should I do what's natural to me and send him a happy birthday text or should I just leave him alone?
Draper Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I wouldn't. If he decides he wants something with you, he'll come to you. Contacting him after being strong for the past two weeks well set you back to square 1.
adiamond Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I'd leave him alone. I made the mistake with one of my past ex's to message him happy birthday. He ignored it and then never told me happy birthday on my birthday. It was pretty painful.
dumbass2 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) He broke up with you and part of it was because you lacked self confidence. Don't send him anything. He is not a lover or a friend. HE doesn't deserve any attention from you any more. You have no relationship with him. You do it and don't get a reply back and it will kill you. If you do get a reply it will confuse you. It's a lose lose proposition. Just don't do it. I saw this from your first thread "I have contacted him everyday with text messages and phone calls and even went by his place last week to see him. All of which upset him even more and he said he wants me to respect his decision and that he doesn’t want to speak to me." This just reconfirms that in no way should you contact him. You did what you did, now you must respect his decision and move forward. Edited September 17, 2015 by dumbass2
thejabberwocky Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 DO NOT wish him a happy birthday. He broke up with you because he no longer wants to see or talk to you. Understand that. He basically told you, "I don't care if I ever see or hear from you again." SO NO. DO NOT talk to him. Keep your self respect and stay NC.
kevin smithy Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Well we were together for 5 years and each other's first relationship. As expected of first loves, we were young and it didn't work out. Well he broke up with me about 3 weeks ago due to me having self confidence issues and him being unhappy. I have been in no contact for almost 2 weeks. I didn't handle the breakup maturely at first. I did everything that you are not supposed to do like begging, pleading, etc. all of which pushed him further away and led to him unfriending me on Facebook. After five years he completely cut me out of his life when I feel like my self confidence issues dosent warrant him treating me so coldly. I wasn't that bad of a girlfriend. I hope one day he realizes that. Well today is his birthday and since the breakup is still pretty fresh, I want to wish him a happy birthday. I don't know if it's the right decision to do that though. I still love him and I care about him but I am angry at how he just threw everything away. Should I do what's natural to me and send him a happy birthday text or should I just leave him alone? I know this is very hard and confusing for you, my ex her bday will be october and i might want to msg her but i wont. she dumped me. the thing is your relationship did not end on good terms or friendly or anything. he ignores you and just treats you like nothing, like your relationship meant nothing. trust me when i say forget about him completely, i know u still love him and wanna be with him, im the same way with my ex. but they chose to cut us off, so they should choose if they want back in. so completely ignore him ok. take care. 1
Blanco Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Don't do it, especially if you're doing NC. I had been NC with my ex for about a month and a half when her birthday rolled around. I communicated nothing on that day. I ran into her a few days later (of course!) and she sarcastically thanked me for the birthday wishes, so it obviously bothered her a bit, even though that wasn't my intent. Lots of threads on this topic. Yeah, you may feel like you're being rude for ignoring them on their birthday, but a lot of times, it's just an excuse for contact. This guy broke up with you, so you owe him no courtesies.
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