MINDSHIFT Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I am becoming such a mess. I'm feeling hopeless and pathetic, i dont have any energy any more. I dont have any motivation anymore. I thought time was a healer. Im just wallowing in self pity. I alternate between anger, happiness and full blown depression. Mornings are a drag i hate waking up, i dream about my ex all the time. I cant help but stalk her social media. Guys this is just getting worse. I do not know what to do. She just wont leave my mind. She left me for an ex 2months ago, very messy breakup. First few weeks i was fine, angry, sometimes depressed, lost, but motivated i could see light at the end of my tunnel. We were still in communication and then we had a massive row said nasty things to each other. I went NC tried 3 attempts got to day 4 on average but then looked at her social media, however never contacted her. this sent me crazy looking at her social media. now about 3 weeks went passed, i was struggling but doing ok i could see the light at the end of the tunnel still. She then contacted me about 9 days ago, i sent a reply a few days later. then we had a lovely exchange of emails her telling me how much she missed me and the sex, wished we could still be friends etc.. I played it kl we reminisced on old times and said goodnight to each other. she told me she will love me forever i just said goodnight (something i regret). She is still with the ex by the way, (I didnt ask) After that exchange i was happy it was a ego boost, i didnt want her back but i knew things were rocky or she regretted leaving me. The next day i found myself to be agitated and very angry idk why. today i feel not depressed but just ****ty. Seriously when and how does this end. i feel so doomed. I feel so weak ive let a girl do this to me. My family noticing im more angry. I hate this feeling. How do i get to the indifference stage. How do i stop thinking about this girl. How do i move the **** on with my life. Please dont just reply with half hearted comments. Please reply if you have been through this and got through it. How long did it take? What did you do? When did you relise its times to take wake up.
drseuss Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 i only read the first paragrah , untill you stop stalking her fb you are going to be stuck right where you are , its simple and youve been on here long enough to know that. you arent in nc till you stop that , when you are in nc you are healing , if you follwed nc properly your would be 2 months ahead !!! your punishinig yourself and wondering why it hurts
Christos Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Try total NC. And if all else fails, find a woman who would like a non-serious relationship and fk her brains out. You will get better...
BlueBlood Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Well if you keep shooting yourself in the foot, that foot won't ever heal. No contact means no nada none. Delete her info, delete your conversation and email history, get rid of pictures and unfriend her on FB. Block her emails, get a new phone number. Vanish from her life because she sure is heck is poisoning yours. Cease allowing contact!
drseuss Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 my ex left me because she wasnt over her ex and it will be 2 months in a couple of days and i have been in strict nc , i looked on fb for the first 2 weeks and then had to stop !! because i was stuck in a horrible place emotionaly , i feel great now and honestly thought i was never going to get over it , ive been up and down but now near the 2 month part im 90% up and 10% down and i dont want her back anymore , i didnt ever think i would feel like that and its great !! 2
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 i only read the first paragrah , untill you stop stalking her fb you are going to be stuck right where you are , its simple and youve been on here long enough to know that. you arent in nc till you stop that , when you are in nc you are healing , if you follwed nc properly your would be 2 months ahead !!! your punishinig yourself and wondering why it hurts I know drseuss, im getting sick of writing the same **** on here. I dont blame you for not reading past the first paragraph. Im frustrated with myself im like a broken record. I know what i have to do i.e go gym, **** other girls, go out with friends. It just im not motivated im just stuck and hopeless.
mightycpa Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Here you go... you're doing it this way: START END >--------------v --------< >-----------------v ------------< >-------------------v ---------------< >-------------------------v ... etc, where "v" represents some kind of interaction with her when really, what you want to do is this: START END >------------------------------------------------------------------! Every time you have one of these "lovely exchange of emails", it sets you back. The truth is, you've barely begun to heal, and you are picking the scab. The other truth is you've been told how to get this done a million times: Cut it out, meaning CUT HER OFF. That you haven't is your fault. 1
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Here you go... you're doing it this way: START END >--------------v --------< >-----------------v ------------< >-------------------v ---------------< >-------------------------v ... etc, where "v" represents some kind of interaction with her when really, what you want to do is this: START END >------------------------------------------------------------------! Every time you have one of these "lovely exchange of emails", it sets you back. The truth is, you've barely begun to heal, and you are picking the scab. The other truth is you've been told how to get this done a million times: Cut it out, meaning CUT HER OFF. That you haven't is your fault. Your illustration is very helpful. Screen-shotted and saved to be a constant reminder. I dont know why im doing this to myself
marcusdevilliers Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I am becoming such a mess. I'm feeling hopeless and pathetic, i dont have any energy any more. I dont have any motivation anymore. I thought time was a healer. Im just wallowing in self pity. I alternate between anger, happiness and full blown depression. Mornings are a drag i hate waking up, i dream about my ex all the time. I cant help but stalk her social media. Guys this is just getting worse. I do not know what to do. She just wont leave my mind. She left me for an ex 2months ago, very messy breakup. First few weeks i was fine, angry, sometimes depressed, lost, but motivated i could see light at the end of my tunnel. We were still in communication and then we had a massive row said nasty things to each other. I went NC tried 3 attempts got to day 4 on average but then looked at her social media, however never contacted her. this sent me crazy looking at her social media. now about 3 weeks went passed, i was struggling but doing ok i could see the light at the end of the tunnel still. She then contacted me about 9 days ago, i sent a reply a few days later. then we had a lovely exchange of emails her telling me how much she missed me and the sex, wished we could still be friends etc.. I played it kl we reminisced on old times and said goodnight to each other. she told me she will love me forever i just said goodnight (something i regret). She is still with the ex by the way, (I didnt ask) After that exchange i was happy it was a ego boost, i didnt want her back but i knew things were rocky or she regretted leaving me. The next day i found myself to be agitated and very angry idk why. today i feel not depressed but just ****ty. Seriously when and how does this end. i feel so doomed. I feel so weak ive let a girl do this to me. My family noticing im more angry. I hate this feeling. How do i get to the indifference stage. How do i stop thinking about this girl. How do i move the **** on with my life. Please dont just reply with half hearted comments. Please reply if you have been through this and got through it. How long did it take? What did you do? When did you relise its times to take wake up. All you are doing is hurting yourself my friend. you need to forget her ok, if she really does love you and want to be with you, she wont be messaging you and saying those things. she will drop her ex and show you that she wants to be with you and make things work. you need to remove her from everything and i mean everything. block her on everything. its a huge step but thats where you start, and i know the feeling, when you see whats on her social media and fb n stuff, it drives you crazy,. so forget all of that .. my ex broke up with me also after almost 3 years,. i broke n.c and it was not good,it did show me that she really doesnt want to be with me. i deleted all our msgs and pics n vids on everything. all the gifts and cads i threw away, not box up, threw away,.. this helps you move forward. until you do this you will be in that hole, so delete everything, block her on everything and throw everything away. after that just stick to N.C and take every day as it comes. this is what im doing now and it helps alot.
Oregon_Dude Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I thought you were doing "so much better" and feeling indifferent after talking with her?? Quit deluding yourself. NC. Don't think you're the exception to this rule. You have no business talking to her since you know it's going to set you back. And stop arguing with people who are right and know what to do from experience. 2
drseuss Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 The best thing is you can only go up from here now so pull your socks up and take control. You have all yhe knowledge and advice you could ever want and it's all saying the same thing. It's a marathon no a sprint so set smaller goals , start with putting all the right things in place so you can do effective no contact ,once you've got that under control then focus on doing things to take your mind of her and so on Before you know it you will be in a much better place and I promise you will be ok , she's just some girl that you ust to go out with , you've got this 1
Author MINDSHIFT Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 I thought you were doing "so much better" and feeling indifferent after talking with her?? I honestly thought i was doing great after the emails. I woke up feeling great. But slowly i started getting so angry and depressed. It kind of reminds me of when another poster was going through a similar experience Samuel_22 got a message from his ex sister. he was happy that day but afterwards started getting really angry. I think i feel this way because yes we had a nice email convo but the situation still the same, she still with her ex. She may miss me, miss sex and express regret but not enough for her to actually say im not with him anymore. No contact is the way forward. i will not be beaten. NO MORE STALKING HER SOCIAL MEDIA. From tomorrow onwards i will not look at it anymore. I feel confident 4th attempt.
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