Maharishi Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I've got a date tonight with a new guy. However, after recent experiences with guys finding me being a teetotaller a dealbreaker I'm a bit tired of wasting my time. This particular guy has invited me to meet him for "drinks". At present he probably assumes I drink alcohol. How do I find out whether my teetotalism is a dealbreaker for him? Would it work to send a casual text message mentioning it and seeing how he feels about it? That way he has the opportunity to say something like "I don't think we'd be compatible" if he thinks that's the case and I won't have wasted my time. Any ideas?
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 "Thank you for the invitation! We're going to have an inexpensive evening, because I don't actually drink! Look forward to it - what time?" That speaks of being fun, sociable and humorous.... give it a go...? 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 If he asks you why you don't drink, tell him the reason is medical and you don't like the flavour anyway, luckily! "Medical problems?" Touch your right side, and just scrunch your nose up, saying, 'liver'. Leave it at that. You want to be enigmatic.... (It's true; alcohol isn't good for the liver....) Hopefully, that will stop him trying to press alcohol onto you... if he persists, then you have every right to get a little bit defensive. I don't drink either, so I totally get you. 1
Author Maharishi Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 I woke up this morning feeling really negative about the upcoming date. I realised I am just not ready to be made to feel like a weirdo yet again just because I happily sit there drinking water. I want to know in advance if this will be a problem so that I stop wasting my time If he asks you why you don't drink, tell him the reason is medical and you don't like the flavour anyway, luckily! "Medical problems?" Touch your right side, and just scrunch your nose up, saying, 'liver'. Leave it at that. You want to be enigmatic.... (It's true; alcohol isn't good for the liver....) Hopefully, that will stop him trying to press alcohol onto you... if he persists, then you have every right to get a little bit defensive. I don't drink either, so I totally get you.
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 In that case, you have every right to text him and be straightforward. "I think it fair to tell you now, that I don't drink alcohol. No specific reason, I just don't like it, and choose not to. Please let me know if this is going to be a problem for you. I only ask, because it seems to have been with a date or two I previously had. I won't be offended, but I'd like to be forewarned.... Thanks! " 1
Yummm Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I'm not too sure the problem? I've been on plenty of dates where I take the lady out for drinks and she doesn't order an alcoholic drink.. I never ask them why, we simply went out for 'drinks'! You don't need to tell him that you don't drink alcohol before you accept to go out for a drink, that can come into conversation during the date if need be.
Author Maharishi Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Here's his reply: "I am not a big drinker myself. I get sleepy but, yes, I guess one gets questioned over here as social life revolves around drinking..."
Author Maharishi Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 That's more or less what I messaged to him! :-) In that case, you have every right to text him and be straightforward. "I think it fair to tell you now, that I don't drink alcohol. No specific reason, I just don't like it, and choose not to. Please let me know if this is going to be a problem for you. I only ask, because it seems to have been with a date or two I previously had. I won't be offended, but I'd like to be forewarned.... Thanks! " 1
jen1447 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Touch your right side, and just scrunch your nose up, saying, 'liver'. Leave it at that. You want to be enigmatic.... (It's true; alcohol isn't good for the liver....) I know the crisis is over now but ....this is maybe not the best idea as 'liver/alcohol' implies that you've shot your liver due to alcoholism. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 That's why I suggested leaving it at that... being enigmatic, a woman of mystery... who knows what her insides hold.... Only she need know for sure! I know, I was half-kidding... lies like that (even if stated with good intention) have a habit of coming back atcha. The direct approach (which I think was taken) is the best route, I would say.
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