YayaSanogo Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Forums have been my help so far. Thank you! Me and my gf (ex) were each others first love. She was a virgin before me. I had one sexual partner before her. We started dating at 17, moved in together at 18 and broke up last week. Perhaps the five most important years of our lives spent together. One of the reasons for the break-up was me constantly complaining about her low sex drive. Usually we'd talk about it and it would be great for a week or two, then it'd go back to ****. During vacations etc we'd hump like mad lol. She'd always say it was the routines at home that made her not want it so much in the weekdays etc. I also said early on from the start that I didn't want us to have sex just for pleasing me. I didn't feel comfortable having sex with her if she didnt really want to herself you know.. Well except her low sex drive she has all qualities I'd want. We still love each other (broke up mutually). In the start of the relationship I used to be jealous, probably connected to low self esteem and fear of losing her. The fact that the sex started getting worse after the first year probably didn't help either. But she was the type of girl who never did anything to not make me trust her. Now that we've broken up my first week consisted of thoughts that my life had ended, that I'd never get someone like her again, and the most extreme sadness I've ever felt. I grew up and became an adult together with this girl you know. However the last two days my jealousy have started coming back. It feels like that emotion has replaced some of the sadness. Thoughts about her maybe wanting to experience what a one night stand is and stuff like that is really really really tormenting me. I had a dream this night that she did that with some stranger. I check messenger in the morning to see when she went to bed and start getting suspicious etc. Like when we lived together (she still lives in our apartment, while I moved temp. back to my parents) she'd usually go to bed like 23.00. Then I noticed this morning that she didn't go offline before like 01.00 and then start having crazy thoughts. Maybe this wouldn't have happened to me if she had a partner before me or if I still wasn't madly in love with her and kinda hope we'll end up back together. But the fact that someone else might have sex with my first love, 5 years LTR, girl of my dreams is driving me competely mad. I'm a little bit afraid we'll end up back together in a few months, I'll ask her if she's been with anyone else since then and say yes, and that I won't be able to handle it. tl;dr: I need help to stop having crazy jealous thoughts about my ex gf. It's making me insane
thunder777 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 bud firstly a broke up has occurred and its rough because of the withdrawals and the hope of her return and what you can do to have her back but as a man, or a real man, crumbling and stalking her whilst shes flown away is very unhealthy for your healing any contact you give her is only gonna make yourself look and become weaker become independently indifferent about the break up, thats easy to say, and very hard to do, but shut all evidence of her out of your days ahead, absolutely no contact example: ok shes taken off to do whatever, but who cares, she can piss off im still a great man, and i can still have great days with or without her you is what matters here, forget that link you have to her, just forget it, find your new future these are the rules if you want to win... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/470829-all-new-2014-no-contact-guide
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