When to back out? I'm going to get hurt

[guest569]

Sorry not trying to bash anyone but relationships are already so hard and I don't think dropping our own insecurities here is really helpful.

 

Thats right,, the last thing i need is for people to create new insecurities and that comment about me not being a model definitely made me feel crappy. I'm totally supermodel material, lol

 

Again, some guys find me attractive and others dont (it is totally subjective, why dont people get that?? i have friends that tell me David Gandy is not hot, even he himself). Anyway looks are the initial attraction and I guess i do feel that something is wrong with me on the inside or I'm just too boring or something. But there is some good advice here, we all have bad days..I see what you mean too Haydn about it being fluid. I think I have some confidence buried somewhere and just need to dig it up again and be comfortable in my own skin.

[Versacehottie]

Thanks I am glad you agree. These statements keep being repeated in several threads and I believe it comes from her personal insecurities and I don't see why keep dropping it on other women. That's why I finally had to say something as I think the statements only reinforce the women-bashing concept that to attract a good guy you have to look amazing or that this is what (most) men are looking for. From my experience that's something most women feel in their 20s. So sad. If I could go back I'd tell the 20-25 yo me: "hey stupid, that's not what matters... and you look amazing!"

 

And guess what? All the guys from my youth which in my mind would only fall for "models" ended up getting married to totally average women and even ugly women! Believe me, most men look for someone they have emotional compatibility with and that they are attracted to, yes, but the thing about having to look like a beauty queen to win guys is super high-school and immature. As is the concept that only immediate chemistry can work.

 

Sorry not trying to bash anyone but relationships are already so hard and I don't think dropping our own insecurities here is really helpful.

 

 

Amen. Something's off with her (it's not her age, trust). And she should be getting flagged for hijacking people's threads though I'm not sure this was an outright case of that although she repeatedly does it. Though she is absolutely taking OP's original situation and injecting and projecting her own sh*t onto it--none of which are relevant.

 

So OP, just hang in there. I think i need to re-read what has happened including the updates. I think though that love and dating are risks. If it's one you think might pay off, you should take it regardless of if you will get hurt. Regret for not doing something you WANT is worse. You can mitigate your risk by not putting all your eggs in one basket and really filling up your calendar in all ways. It helps take the edge off and you can see how one guy treats you vs others. Plus when you are out doing things and happy is when you have best chance of meeting someone else too---whether it's directly dating others or meeting them by chance. Lots of people meet under these circumstances AND lots of guys "come around" when you start creating these circumstances for yourself. Good luck

[Leigh 87]

My whole point is that she shouldn't be bothering with men who aren't really into her.

 

I am not a believer in accepting men into me life if they aren't into me after the first date or two.

 

The OPS guy just seems lukewarm and so I don't believe in the whole " being chill " thing, in order to make yourself " grow " on a dude who was not initially into you.

 

I've never mentioned love at first site I've always been a proponent on clear, real chemistry that's MUTUAL. That way, the OP wouldn't HAVE to take it down a notch because the guy would be just as into it as she was!

 

I've witnesses the most passionate and fulfilling relationships start out with two parties who were both totally into each other from the get go. These are by far the best relationships I've witnessed, because there was just something there and no one party had to play it cool and pretend to be busy and " Chill":sick:

 

Only overzealous bunny boilers have to chill.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I only know one stunning girl who actually gets ALL men she likes to fall for her!

 

That is so much BS Leigh sorry but "beautiful models" get their heart broken just as much as anybody else. NOBODY gets "all the men she likes to fall for her." Maybe they are all horn dogs who would like to bone her, whoo-hoo. Anyway all of this talk about "stunners" or whatever is YOUR personal serious hangup and it has ZERO to do with Smiley and what is going on with her. If she is a "beautiful model" or not, whatever, this situation she is looking for help and support with is NOT related to what she looks like! Or how "smitten" the guy was, or any of that stuff sheesh Leigh!!

 

Sorry but I had to say that, it is SO wrong to believe that what you look like equates to how much and how deep of love you will have in your life. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. :mad:

[Leigh 87]

Amen. Something's off with her (it's not her age, trust). And she should be getting flagged for hijacking people's threads though I'm not sure this was an outright case of that although she repeatedly does it. Though she is absolutely taking OP's original situation and injecting and projecting her own sh*t onto it--none of which are relevant.

 

So OP, just hang in there. I think i need to re-read what has happened including the updates. I think though that love and dating are risks. If it's one you think might pay off, you should take it regardless of if you will get hurt. Regret for not doing something you WANT is worse. You can mitigate your risk by not putting all your eggs in one basket and really filling up your calendar in all ways. It helps take the edge off and you can see how one guy treats you vs others. Plus when you are out doing things and happy is when you have best chance of meeting someone else too---whether it's directly dating others or meeting them by chance. Lots of people meet under these circumstances AND lots of guys "come around" when you start creating these circumstances for yourself. Good luck

 

I have talked to a lot of couples over the years and I take s special interest in relationships and love. I've asked a lot of questions and out of hundreds of couples that I've spoken to, i am telling you now, NOTHING good ever came from the relationships that started out with one person being more into it than the other. EVERY relationship that started out like Smileys, the OP s, crashed and burned.

 

Why? Because I noticed when the woman is anxious and nervous about the dating situation and the guy in question, is not all that excited about it to begin with, EVERY single man who started out less than enamoured, cheated or ended it with their partner once they DID find a deeper connection where they were just excited naturally from the start.

 

I believe real chemistry is mutual and it's of equal importance to compatability. That's just my honest opinion from the hundreds of relationships that I've witnessed and learnt about in my every day life.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with urging the OP to hold out who a man who shows that he's just as excited about her as she us about him.

 

She was looking for something casual but she has obviously caught feelings. And I volunteered my personal opinion - That most women do not meet the love of their lives often and if they do, it's later in life usually. Most women don't captivate all the men they date and most men don't exactly catch our hearts in fire, either.

 

I was assuring the OP that her experience is normal. And to hold out for something amazing rather than accepting men who are lukewarm about her initialy.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I have talked to a lot of couples over the years and I take s special interest in relationships and love. I've asked a lot of questions and out of hundreds of couples that I've spoken to, i am telling you now, NOTHING good ever came from the relationships that started out with one person being more into it than the other.

 

Well Leigh 87, you def have NOT talked to more couples in person than you can communicate with right here on LoveShack and you will find about 2 who are in agreement with you. You are not helping anybody when you project your own obsessions onto people here who are asking for help. This place is full of people in DEEP relationships who didn't have the supermodel / Disney thing going on.

 

The op's situation is not looking very good. If she is a supermodel I don't think that would make it better. If the guy told her he was madly in love with her on the first date because she is so freaking hot, I don't think that would make it any better.

 

She is working on something on a completely different level than any of that. :rolleyes:

[Leigh 87]

That is so much BS Leigh sorry but "beautiful models" get their heart broken just as much as anybody else. NOBODY gets "all the men she likes to fall for her." Maybe they are all horn dogs who would like to bone her, whoo-hoo. Anyway all of this talk about "stunners" or whatever is YOUR personal serious hangup and it has ZERO to do with Smiley and what is going on with her. If she is a "beautiful model" or not, whatever, this situation she is looking for help and support with is NOT related to what she looks like! Or how "smitten" the guy was, or any of that stuff sheesh Leigh!!

 

Sorry but I had to say that, it is SO wrong to believe that what you look like equates to how much and how deep of love you will have in your life. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. :mad:

 

I was pointing out that most women are exactly like her ; either they aren't that excited about the men they meet and go on dates with, or if they are really into the guy, it's hard to find a man that's mutually enamoured.

 

And yes only the most beautiful women with the most likeable and popular personalities get their true love match early in life. These women constituents like, 2% of the population so the OPs experience was totally normal.

 

It's true that most women won't get most of the men they date to fall for them. And vice versa!

 

The OP is therefore, not unlovable. She's dead normal. Like the rest of us. I go on disproportionately more dates that most cos I used online and got dates in real life and all the men I felt physical chemistry with were wrong for me. All the men who liked me, I wasnt into. So someone like me knows the OPs predicament all too well. If the OP lived in an area like mine that has a lot of single men AND she also used online, she would also get loads of men wanting to date her but the men who wanted her, she wouldn't have the hots for. And vice versa!

 

And it's true, I HAVE only EVER met one woman who was so gorgeous and stunning and young and with an amazing personality, that found the love of her life early in life. Every other woman I've ever known, cuteand slim women like myself, wait until later in life to find MUTUAL interest.

 

The OP isn't unlovable. She's like 99% of women who's love of their lives doesn't just fall into their laps.

 

But we are lying to ourselves if we don't acknowledge that stunning gorgeous when who are friendly, out going and great, get all the men to want to date them and commit. The OP, myself and YOU, Rosebudd, are all in the same boat. It's hard to find MUTUAL excitement in the dating process.

 

It's only easy for a very small minority. If which I've only ever met and become friends with one of them.

[Leigh 87]

Back to the original post,

 

The OPS reaction to rejection is thst she's not lovable. This obviously isn't healthy or conductive to a happy life.

 

Where as I know that it's just a case of being super hard to find the right partner.that has the right chemistry, emotional and intellectual connection. I believe a true love match only happens later in life for most if at all. Most people settle for less than a great love story. So the OP definately needs to realise that she's normal and there's nothing inherently wrong with her.

 

What can the OP do?

 

Well, I don't think she needs to chill. She isn't acting crazy. Caring about the guy and genuinly being a little nervous and anxious about how HE feels, isn't going to repeal a man who's truly into her.

 

I would recommend therapy. It made me learn that it wasn't me not being good enough for men, but the men not being a true connection for me. And the shallow men who rejected me for my lack of model looks turned out to be shallow @sholes.

 

Alone, I couldn't believe that dating was a numbers game. With therapy, I learnt it really was not me. I wasn't acting desperate, getting too fat or acting too aloof, either. It's truly hard to find a very compatible partner who you have mutual chemistry with. It's akin to a lotto win for some people.

[Versacehottie]

I have talked to a lot of couples over the years and I take s special interest in relationships and love. I've asked a lot of questions and out of hundreds of couples that I've spoken to, i am telling you now, NOTHING good ever came from the relationships that started out with one person being more into it than the other. EVERY relationship that started out like Smileys, the OP s, crashed and burned.

 

Why? Because I noticed when the woman is anxious and nervous about the dating situation and the guy in question, is not all that excited about it to begin with, EVERY single man who started out less than enamoured, cheated or ended it with their partner once they DID find a deeper connection where they were just excited naturally from the start.

 

I believe real chemistry is mutual and it's of equal importance to compatability. That's just my honest opinion from the hundreds of relationships that I've witnessed and learnt about in my every day life.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with urging the OP to hold out who a man who shows that he's just as excited about her as she us about him.

 

She was looking for something casual but she has obviously caught feelings. And I volunteered my personal opinion - That most women do not meet the love of their lives often and if they do, it's later in life usually. Most women don't captivate all the men they date and most men don't exactly catch our hearts in fire, either.

 

I was assuring the OP that her experience is normal. And to hold out for something amazing rather than accepting men who are lukewarm about her initialy.

 

This is THE most normal advice you've ever given. OTHER THAN THE ABSOLUTES. Rest is more measured than usual and based on your belief system as a whole and not putting your own personal stories into it, where you either relate everything back to looks and then either say you are average or gorgeous in talking about yourself. What is troubling, on this one as well, is you act like it should happen at the exact moment two people meet, which just isn't the case ALL the time. Your own history that you've posted on this site says those instant things you have, may latch on right at the beginning but don't last---maybe they are not based on anything real or anyone getting to know one another and burn out once you and your partner do. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion but I would hope that someone who is in distress and looking for real helpful advice takes it will a grain of salt as it barely encompasses ALL situations and frankly is often warped. Good luck, Leigh, I hope you realize that someday for your own life as well.

[Versacehottie]

I would add to OP that even when things don't work out you get valuable dating experience that helps you on the next one. If you retreat and don't take chances, there's no guarantee you will be "perfect" and on point when the next great guy comes around.

[edgygirl]

O-M-G. Seriously? Come on woman!

 

Where did you get this bs from? I mean, sorry but there's no other way to put it.

 

My sister married at 22 and has just completed 30 years of extremely happy marriage. Is she a supermodel? Hell to the NO.

 

I mean, do you really, really believe this crap?

 

You have a lot of issues to work on, please please get counseling. I mean it.

 

I stopped reading after the 3rd paragraph cause... And STOP projecting YOUR insecurities into the OP. Her issues have NOTHING to do with looks necessarily. This is YOUR insecurity, not hers. Please stop.

 

You do it thread after thread. It's not fair to other girls. Go treat your issues and stop projecting. You are doing a disservice here quite frankly. And you won't try to absorb what people are telling you... that's what I call lack of self awareness.

 

 

And yes only the most beautiful women with the most likeable and popular personalities get their true love match early in life. These women constituents like, 2% of the population so the OPs experience was totally normal.

 

It's true that most women won't get most of the men they date to fall for them. And vice versa!

 

The OP is therefore, not unlovable. She's dead normal. Like the rest of us. (...)

Edited September 20, 2015 by edgygirl

[Leigh 87]

S

This is THE most normal advice you've ever given. OTHER THAN THE ABSOLUTES. Rest is more measured than usual and based on your belief system as a whole and not putting your own personal stories into it, where you either relate everything back to looks and then either say you are average or gorgeous in talking about yourself. What is troubling, on this one as well, is you act like it should happen at the exact moment two people meet, which just isn't the case ALL the time. Your own history that you've posted on this site says those instant things you have, may latch on right at the beginning but don't last---maybe they are not based on anything real or anyone getting to know one another and burn out once you and your partner do. You are absolutely entitled to your opinion but I would hope that someone who is in distress and looking for real helpful advice takes it will a grain of salt as it barely encompasses ALL situations and frankly is often warped. Good luck, Leigh, I hope you realize that someday for your own life as well.

 

I've given loads of advice that's good over the past five years .. And my views may seem idealistic but you are just taking it the wrong way. I know good couples who did start out attracted and there were both excited about each other from the first date or two.

 

Telling Smiley to chill and give a guy who's clearly lukewarm about her a chance to grow into her, isn't sound advice. Because such beginnings that preclude relationships never result in very passionate or intense ones from my observations. Many call it a day due to " something missing "

 

Just look at Losangelenas break up. Classic case of her man being lukewarm about her. Women can grow into a man but men cannot grow into women.

 

I don't think that wanting to walk away from the first date or so with mutual strong chemistry and a definately excitement about seeing each other again is akin to Disny or love at first site. Plenty of couples have that initial spark of excitement where they just click and neither has to worry too much because they are BOTH into each other as opposed to one or two parties being lukewarm.

 

OP even lamented that she is sick of lukewarm men. Well hey, so was I, so I stopped dating men who started out lukewarm about me and I ONLY dated men who seemed excited.

 

Yes, I got loads of " excited " men wanting to sleep with me. Mutual attraction only guarantees that; wanting to have sex, LOL. But when you get a connection that's mutual, the attraction plus TWO people BOTH just feeling the chemistry and excitement surrounding getting to know one another, AND there's more to it than just chemistry ( compatibility is there in equal doses ad much as can be evident in the early dates)

 

THAT is what the OP, and other women, need in my honest opinion. Not to have to " Chill" and " relax " and " play it cool". You don't HAVE to guess or wonder when a man is truly into you and it's a mutual experience....

 

Gosh, ask Ruby Slippers, Katiegrl and Eternal Sunshine - ALL posters who agree thst mutual sparks and excitement RATHER THAN lukewarm indifference, yields the best relationships. The OP should absolutely not have to settle for lukewarm men. Yet you're all advocating to play it cool and " Chill " in the hope that a lukewarm man suddenly catches feelings in a slow fashion.

[guest569]

Oh, I wouldn't say he is not into me.. He keeps wanting to see me, he seems keen. I could be overthinking and being paranoid about it. No one really knows yet. It's all speculation and guesswork. It's just that feeling that he doesn't want what I want out of it. I definitely think I am moving too quickly and need to calm down. At the same time, its worth the risk of getting hurt.

 

Because for me there is no "move on to the next man" or "find someone that is crazy about you from the get go" i have found such men and they are scary. I am being scary.

Edited September 20, 2015 by smiley1

[Versacehottie]

S

 

I've given loads of advice that's good over the past five years .. And my views may seem idealistic but you are just taking it the wrong way. I know good couples who did start out attracted and there were both excited about each other from the first date or two.

 

Telling Smiley to chill and give a guy who's clearly lukewarm about her a chance to grow into her, isn't sound advice. Because such beginnings that preclude relationships never result in very passionate or intense ones from my observations. Many call it a day due to " something missing "

 

Just look at Losangelenas break up. Classic case of her man being lukewarm about her. Women can grow into a man but men cannot grow into women.

 

I don't think that wanting to walk away from the first date or so with mutual strong chemistry and a definately excitement about seeing each other again is akin to Disny or love at first site. Plenty of couples have that initial spark of excitement where they just click and neither has to worry too much because they are BOTH into each other as opposed to one or two parties being lukewarm.

 

OP even lamented that she is sick of lukewarm men. Well hey, so was I, so I stopped dating men who started out lukewarm about me and I ONLY dated men who seemed excited.

 

Yes, I got loads of " excited " men wanting to sleep with me. Mutual attraction only guarantees that; wanting to have sex, LOL. But when you get a connection that's mutual, the attraction plus TWO people BOTH just feeling the chemistry and excitement surrounding getting to know one another, AND there's more to it than just chemistry ( compatibility is there in equal doses ad much as can be evident in the early dates)

 

THAT is what the OP, and other women, need in my honest opinion. Not to have to " Chill" and " relax " and " play it cool". You don't HAVE to guess or wonder when a man is truly into you and it's a mutual experience....

 

Gosh, ask Ruby Slippers, Katiegrl and Eternal Sunshine - ALL posters who agree thst mutual sparks and excitement RATHER THAN lukewarm indifference, yields the best relationships. The OP should absolutely not have to settle for lukewarm men. Yet you're all advocating to play it cool and " Chill " in the hope that a lukewarm man suddenly catches feelings in a slow fashion.

 

um you don't need to interpret my words or posts for the OP or others reading this thread. What I think is right there in black and white and I'm happy to clarify for the OP or other rational posters. Your translation of what you think I'm saying isn't accurate and has gone through the Leigh projected and warped filter and I don't appreciate you twisting my advice to the OP. Whatever.

 

On a completely side note, I guarantee that guys not remaining into you specifically, Leigh, in the majority of cases has nothing to do with what they think about your looks. Figure it out--a little time passes, your looks remain the same--the only thing that's different is they get to know you better and have more interaction with you. I suggest you start working on that part of yourself and then give advice from that perspective.

[jaynesnow]

move on...

[guest569]

Update time..

 

Always trust your gut feeling. Had a couple more dates although he was not very affectionate (considering we had sex the previous time and it seemed like everything was ok ) i even cooked an lovely dinner for him etc. and I am not much of a cook, i put a lot of effort and love into that, then as he was leaving told me hes not over the ex wife and not ready to date. Im sure thats legit, i know the story. I still feel really crap about myself and rejected. Definitely feeling used, lead on and hurt. I am in shock and the timing is pretty bad.

[BluEyeL]

Update time..

 

Always trust your gut feeling. Had a couple more dates although he was not very affectionate (considering we had sex the previous time and it seemed like everything was ok ) i even cooked an lovely dinner for him etc. and I am not much of a cook, i put a lot of effort and love into that, then as he was leaving told me hes not over the ex wife and not ready to date. Im sure thats legit, i know the story. I still feel really crap about myself and rejected. Definitely feeling used, lead on and hurt. I am in shock and the timing is pretty bad.

I'm sorry smiley That su.cks! Hope you recover and find love soon!

[Gaeta]

I just read the whole thread and I am very sorry smiley for the disappointment he's turned out to be. I know too well how that feels. After everything is done you look back and think 'how was I blind to this'. Don't regret anything you've done it's called living. To me it's much better to risk, try, fall, get back up and risk again than stay home in a bubble and never 'feel'.

 

Here's a great big ((hug)) and a promise you will feel better very soon!

[guest569]

Thank you both, I feel so foolish. I knew his past was too recent and I knew to be cautious but I really like this one and never felt this way before. It's so crappy, he went from having sex (no issues there) to the next time avoiding physical contact like I repulse him, I knew something was up. I don't think I did anything wrong and his excuse seems legit (he saw her which made him realize he's not ready, it was a long relationship, ended recently. I get it) but im really doubting myself and thinking he just doesn't like me, because I'm terrible in bed, fat, ugly, whatever. I wonder if he just had better offers. I bet he's still on the dating site screwing other people over but I deleted it.

 

Cant believe he has done this

[guest569]

And the meal was really fricken good and tasty,so it was not that my cooking is not good enough for him. I wasted a lot of time, money, planning and care on that, he comes along, eats, breaks my heart and then leaves. I'm still so shocked and upset and i cant afford to feel like this right now.

 

And the apologetic text elaborating on it, i guess i ignore it, I am just speechless. And ticked off. Silence is best.

 

I'm so new to dating and sex and it was a big deal for me to take those steps and open my heart and i just feel like he has used me and taken me for granted. I know he is going through a lot too, but why did I have to get caught up in this? And why did i let myself? Because I thought and hoped it would work out, I had to take the risk and find out the hard way.

Edited September 22, 2015 by smiley1

[katiegrl]

S

 

Gosh, ask Ruby Slippers, Katiegrl and Eternal Sunshine - ALL posters who agree thst mutual sparks and excitement RATHER THAN lukewarm indifference, yields the best relationships. The OP should absolutely not have to settle for lukewarm men. Yet you're all advocating to play it cool and " Chill " in the hope that a lukewarm man suddenly catches feelings in a slow fashion.

 

Just got a chance to catch up with this thread....smiley I am SO sorry girl.... that sucks.

 

 

((hugs))

 

 

To Leigh - re the bolded.... I NEVER said that mutual sparks and excitement yield the best relationships!! NEVER.

 

 

What I've said is that I believe true chemistry is mutual, and that I personally need to have chemistry with a man pretty much from the get go otherwise I don't wish to pursue anything further.

 

 

However, I know couples whose attraction grew more slowly and their love is NO LESS intense and strong than mine is with my boyfriend.

 

 

Sparks, excitement and chemistry do not yield the best relationships. Communication, compatibility, the ability to compromise and understand your partner's POV, combined with empathy, caring and mutual respect yield the best relationships.

 

 

I know couples who have intense sparks/chemistry and their relationship is utterly TOXIC!

 

 

So no I never said sparks/excitement yield the best relationships, and frankly don't appreciate your mentioning my name in your posts.... and projecting your own personal feelings/opinions/beliefs on to what I post.

 

 

Apologies for the hijack and again to smiley, I am so sorry hun, it's unconscionable to me how he could accept your invite for a nice home cooked dinner and then dump you immediately thereafter.

 

 

That is cold!!!

Edited September 22, 2015 by katiegrl

[J21]

I'm really sorry things didn't work out for you smiley. I was hoping things took off well.

 

You seem to be a good person, I know it stings but give it some time. Just realize it's better to be single than not wanted. It was just bad luck of meeting someone in the wrong place in their life.

 

Cheer up and I hope your mood gets better. Remember it's better to be single than not wanted.

[guest569]

J

 

Apologies for the hijack and again to smiley, I am so sorry hun, it's unconscionable to me how he could accept your invite for a nice home cooked dinner and then dump you immediately thereafter.

 

 

That is cold!!!

 

Yeah and he previously had invited me for a home cooked meal at his and had no issues making out and having sex and was always talking about future dates, seemed keen, talk about leading me on. it seemed like things were progressing and suddenly went cold.

[jam.over.jelly]

Yeah and he previously had invited me for a home cooked meal at his and had no issues making out and having sex and was always talking about future dates, seemed keen, talk about leading me on. it seemed like things were progressing and suddenly went cold.

 

I can truly relate to how you're feeling right now. However if anything I feel like I'm still very lucky to have find out now rather than later. It certainly hurts a lot when you think something is going so well, then all of a sudden it takes a turn to the worse. The scary part was the whole time they didn't give us any clue, or they have, and we just choose to ignore them, because we like them too much. It happens to the best of us; but I do believe with time it will be easier, and we will learn from it, and it just means that we're closer to finding "our person". Stay strong!

[guest569]

I can truly relate to how you're feeling right now. However if anything I feel like I'm still very lucky to have find out now rather than later. It certainly hurts a lot when you think something is going so well, then all of a sudden it takes a turn to the worse. The scary part was the whole time they didn't give us any clue, or they have, and we just choose to ignore them, because we like them too much. It happens to the best of us; but I do believe with time it will be easier, and we will learn from it, and it just means that we're closer to finding "our person". Stay strong!

 

I think i knew the ex would be an issue but ignored the warning because i really like him, and i kinda figured if he liked me too and we were right for each other, his past wouldn't get in the way. I suspect part of the issue is that he simply doesn't like me or something to do with the sex.