disbelief Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Hey guys. had another talk with my ex whom we have a 2.5 year old son with. she walked out about 2 months ago. she says she has too much built up resentment towards me because of all the disagreements and arguing that we have done. I think i was combative with her because i really wasn't that attracted to her. now that she has dumped me i am in alot of pain and now i feel i love her. she was a part of the problem too, she was very combative aswell. i some how feel this is just her bs excuse for what really happened - she lost attraction. 2 days after we broke up she was seeing another guy, she swears there just friends but weve all heard that story. if a woman in sexually interested then arguing or no arguing she will stick around right?
thejabberwocky Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I don't really understand your question. No, a woman will not stay with someone who she is unhappy with just because she's sexually attracted to him. If she's telling you that you broke up because she's sick of fighting with you, believe her. However, chances are because of your "combative" tendencies, she probably lost respect for you which in turn, would kill her attraction. But I would say that the real issue is the arguing, not her sexual interest.
casey.lives Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 People makeup all sorts of reasons to cover up why they want to break up. Being combative is a result of big differences and of not caring to resolve them. Having arguments is normal in a healthy relationship.That leads me to believe that you honestly broke up because you lack sexual attraction, to begin with. It's hard to call it what it is.. but it always comes down to sex. people do everything or nothing because of sex, is my new understanding. sex sells. 2
thunder777 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 why is it openly accepted by other men that if your girlfriends had another mans bits in her that youll still openly accept her back and want to continue do what you always did, i just cant get my head around that ever 1
casey.lives Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 being in love with someone else differs from being insecure and desperately on edge, which is how some people compromise themselves but.. stinky dick is gross. you're not expected to go back to a cheater. you're expected to move on. . men women, alike. stinky disease dick... no thank you 1
Christos Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) Arguing happens in most relationships. It is perfectly normal, especially during the earlier years. Think of it like healthy conflict, meant to set up boundaries, learn the other person, and settle up things. If a relationship didn't have some conflict early on, i would be VERY worried... This doesn't mean people love each other, because it is not normal to unconditionaly love so soon. This just means people fear and avoid conflict, avoid discussing their wants and needs and make demands, or just don't care. This won't end well... So no, i don't think the arguing was the issue. Unless it was THAT BAD, with physical violence, harsh words and insults etc. The true reason is she felt you weren't attracted to her that much (we can always feel this), felt insecure, someone else came around and showed her some attention, so she wants to try to see if the grass is greener on the other side... Don't believe a word she says right now. She will never admit anything. In her mind, she will twist everything to make you seem like a monster, in order to justify her actions and avoid feeling guilty. This won't last. Eventually, she will feel guilty. Trust me. Edited September 17, 2015 by Christos 1
Author disbelief Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 Arguing happens in most relationships. It is perfectly normal, especially during the earlier years. Think of it like healthy conflict, meant to set up boundaries, learn the other person, and settle up things. If a relationship didn't have some conflict early on, i would be VERY worried... This doesn't mean people love each other, because it is not normal to unconditionaly love so soon. This just means people fear and avoid conflict, avoid discussing their wants and needs and make demands, or just don't care. This won't end well... So no, i don't think the arguing was the issue. Unless it was THAT BAD, with physical violence, harsh words and insults etc. The true reason is she felt you weren't attracted to her that much (we can always feel this), felt insecure, someone else came around and showed her some attention, so she wants to try to see if the grass is greener on the other side... Don't believe a word she says right now. She will never admit anything. In her mind, she will twist everything to make you seem like a monster, in order to justify her actions and avoid feeling guilty. This won't last. Eventually, she will feel guilty. Trust me. thanks for your insight christos. i cant believe what she has done to this family,shes not willing to work on it or anything. after spending enough time with a woman you come to know all her little intricacies. i notice small things that are red flags. after i confronted her about that convo she had with the other guy she deleted it promptly. after shes been down there the night before you can tell her hair and makeup were done when she came to pick our son up the nest day. shes wearing new sexy underwear and she tells me she needs time. classic 1
mightycpa Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 All this arguing stuff probably killed the sexual interest. Other guys have peckers too, and my experience with women tells me they get tired of the ones attached to guys who are not easy to get along with; it doesn't matter how much they enjoy the sex, either. If you were combative because you weren't all that attracted then you had better put yourself back into that frame of mind before you get what you're wishing for right now. Something tells me that for you, the idea of getting her back is a lot better than the reality.
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) Well, now you know. Only thing to do now is get as far away from this person as you can. All these reasons for breaking up are just BS that her mind makes up so she can justify her actions of getting with another guy, 100%. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you some people just have 0 idea of what commitment means and are solely interested in their own interests. I really hope you don't try and get back with this person. Edited September 17, 2015 by LoveIsMyReligion 1
GorillaTheater Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I think i was combative with her because i really wasn't that attracted to her. Man, I'm not clear on why you care about the break-up. I'm thinking that it's not the loss of the relationship, but more your ego getting bruised. I get that, and have been there myself, but be honest with yourself: have you really lost anything you valued?
LoveIsMyReligion Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Arguing happens in most relationships. It is perfectly normal, especially during the earlier years. Think of it like healthy conflict, meant to set up boundaries, learn the other person, and settle up things. If a relationship didn't have some conflict early on, i would be VERY worried... This doesn't mean people love each other, because it is not normal to unconditionaly love so soon. This just means people fear and avoid conflict, avoid discussing their wants and needs and make demands, or just don't care. This won't end well... So no, i don't think the arguing was the issue. Unless it was THAT BAD, with physical violence, harsh words and insults etc. The true reason is she felt you weren't attracted to her that much (we can always feel this), felt insecure, someone else came around and showed her some attention, so she wants to try to see if the grass is greener on the other side... Don't believe a word she says right now. She will never admit anything. In her mind, she will twist everything to make you seem like a monster, in order to justify her actions and avoid feeling guilty. This won't last. Eventually, she will feel guilty. Trust me. I couldn't have said it better. Well written my friend.
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