Jj66 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 What do you do or say to someone when they tell you they love you but you don't feel the same?
learning to breathe Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 jj66, IMO i think it would be best to be honest with them and let them know you dont feel the same way. in the end itll save you the headache and them the heartache. xoxo. learning to breathe. 1
Maggie4 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I wouldn't be dating someone I know I couldn't love. And if I'm seeing a guy I believe in, I would say "you're ahead of me". One of the signs of love, is a gracious willingness to wait for the other person to catch up. 3
Tobin Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 You can respond "Oh look at the time, I better get going"
Author Jj66 Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 You can respond "Oh look at the time, I better get going" Lmao. But probably not if I want to see her again.
JADIE Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 "Thank you" or "Thank you for trusting me with that". Took my SO a while to say ILY in return, but my gut feel was spot on that he did in fact love me. So I said it to him rarely...when the desire to let him know was overpowering for me. He'd reply as above and that was fine with me. He caught up eventually. What I felt was not dependent on his response, so I did not feel awkward about it...just didn't want to pressure him into saying something he wasn't ready to say out loud. 2
GemmaUK Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Not sure how it would go down with a woman but one of my exes told me he loved me and I wasn't there yet so I replied with 'I can't say that yet but I do Lust You..will that do for now? His response was a huge grin..he was more than happy with that. *Disclaimer* I said this to a guy, for a woman I think you might need to go more cerebral...
TunaCat Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 My ex said those three words several months before I said them. I just wasn't there yet, but I had all the confidence that I WOULD be there soon. I was honest with him and told him that I wasn't quite there yet, but that I did care for him a lot. Several months later I did say those words to him and it was an amazing feeling.
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 If I'm not ready to hear it I gently deflect but I do tell the person it's too soon. If I know I could never love them, I break up with them because it's better to rip off the bandaid.
Leigh 87 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I think a true connection is where both people fall hard. In true connections, people don't take several months to fall in love. People who have to warm up to you usually lack the strong chemistry and butterflies feelings to begin with.. I can't believe some people are okay it falling faster than their partner or for their partner to fall harder than them. It usually signals that one person felt all smitten whilst the other is not going through a " head over heels " stage and are, instead, growing slowly. 1
rocketman122 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 same as Leigh. youre not in the right relationship if it takes you so long to be in love. If it did happen that she jumped the gun very early and I wasnt there yet, BUT I did want to be with her and knew it was coming, I would grab her, kiss her and tell her that I love her also. yes, lie to her. but its an irrelevant lie. it will help things move along better, my feelings will kick in very soon and we can just move along. it will save an awkward situation or for her to feel insulted or disappointed. better her feeling good and things progress. if you say the opposite, things will slow down, she may back off and thats not good. so a lie thats good. unless youre not serious about this person, then you should say "you have good taste" hahaha this has never happened to me though but just guessing a what if situation. I want to be in a relationship when things are explosive and with a lot of passion. it was like this with my ex. we felt love immediately.
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 obviously this is great opportunity that you are interested in visiting despite her premature feelings of " I love yous" and all of that. I would continue seeing her, if your feelings catch up to hers than fantastic. However, it is important to tell her that even though you're unsure of how you feel at this stage, that you are more than welcome to continue seeing her and see how things go. Sometimes feelings can overpower people and take people by surprise. Love is a drug that produces this intense feelings. It could also mean that she is infatuated at this stage but not actually in love. More often than not, I have been on the receiving end of loving someone while they do not love me in return. When it's the other way round, and a man loves me but I do not feel the same, I feel an intense feeling of pressure to quickly return the favor so to speak and profess my love even if I am not sure if I feel the same way. I guess I am just grateful for the love they may have for me. However, you should not feel pressured of course. I would just wait. You may change your mind and start loving her.. or you may never change your mind in which you would need to end it. Good luck xo 1
joseb Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 From reading the responses on here, I suspect a lot of people seem to mistake the early infatuation/smitten stages with love. Real love does not happen in weeks. Amazing infatuation, where you crave the other person and think of them all the time etc etc - sure. That, though, is not Love. 3
rocketman122 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 From reading the responses on here, I suspect a lot of people seem to mistake the early infatuation/smitten stages with love. Real love does not happen in weeks. Amazing infatuation, where you crave the other person and think of them all the time etc etc - sure. That, though, is not Love. youre assuming josef. there are people who feel love at first site. and these relationships last very long.
mrldii Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 What do you do or say to someone when they tell you they love you but you don't feel the same? A wise man once said, "My love is 99.1% pure"; tell her that and let her figure out if she's part of the .9% Club or not.
mrldii Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 youre assuming josef. there are people who feel love at first site. and these relationships last very long. I agree...sort of. Each time I've fallen in love (and they with me), it's been at first sight... ...but only in retrospect. There were several false starts that we both thought were "love at first sight" that were simply all sorts of lust at first (and second, and third...hundred) sight, but wore off once real life set back in. ====================== OT: Honesty (or something damned close to it) is probably the best policy. I like the suggestion of "I feel lust for you...is that good enough for now?", though I also agree it might work better on a man than a woman. Perhaps an honest "I'm not there yet...but I'd like to be..." (if you truly feel that way) or an honest ending of it, if you know you never will be. Best of luck to you, OP...I truly HATE it when somebody feels more for me than I do for them; I handle it better and actually prefer that if we aren't on the same page, it's me that feels more. I'd rather be the dumpee than the dumper, ANY day. 1
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