Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I split up with my ex-girlfriend about 15 months ago and went through a stage of trying to contact her all the time when we split up. But the last time I tried to contact her was 6 months ago and have stuck with no-contact since then. We are still on very bad terms as she thinks I cheated on her (which I never) and I'm almost certain she cheated on me at the end of our relationship even if it was for a couple of weeks, but she denys it all the time (but I don't believe her as I've caught her out before when she has lied to me). Anyway when I found out about what she had been up to I threatened this guy she went with which is why we are on such bad terms. She is still with this guy now but my house mate who is good friends with her said they argue all the time and are probably about to split up. We were very much in love once and I still think about her alot. Last saturday she came into the bar that I work in and spent most of the night there starring at me a lot, as if she wanted to say some thing to me but couldn't or maybe I'm getting the signals all wrong! But what I wanted some advice on was should I send her a birthday card as its her birthday next week or should I just leave it ? And if I do what hould I write in the card ?
BigB Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Don't send her anything. If she want's to talk to you, she'll talk.
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 I was kind of thinking of sending it as a nice gesture to let her know if she wants to talk to me she can. The reason would be the last time we had any contact I said I wanted nothing else to do with her and was quite bitter. I kind of think that if I do send her a card then it shows I still care about her. Its not as if I'm trying to talk to her or bother her in any way.
RecordProducer Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Sure. Send her a B/day card! As a mater of fact, if you love her and want to get back together with her, this is a good occasion for you to send her a nice b/day present. It might make her heart melt. What to write on the card... hm... keep it simple. You're not in good terms so anything too loving would be inappropriate. How about something like: "Dear X, Happy Birthday! I wish you a lot of happiness, love, and success! Yours, Conroy"
Candy Cane Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I would give her the card if you honestly still care about her. I mean, why not? On this card, I wouldn't say much though. I wouldn't limit your relationship by stating that you want to be her friend or anything. I'd just leave it open and say something like, "I was thinking of you and wanted to wish you a happy birthday." Then...see how that goes. Sometimes you need to keep life moving!!
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 RecordProducer - thank you for the advice, I do still love her very much even though we have both done and said some terrible things to each other. I would send her a present but I don't really want her current BF to find out I have. He may get jealous and then that could make their relationship stronger, but then again maybe not i don't really know. I going to have to give the card to my house mate to give to her in private so he doesn't find out. I don't think she would tell him about it. Then again i could just send her some flowers, I don't really know what to do
catnip Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 *big sigh*..... Your breakup was 15 months...she is with someone else...now you're talking about sending a b-card, flowers, a present???......Are you f*cking nuts?!!!! So sad you haven't moved forward with your life
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Catnip - I have moved forward with my life i haven't contacted her for 6 months and her current relationship is on the rocks. There are also other issues that make me want to send her a card like the fact when we broke up she said she never felt so strongly about any other person than she did me because we were in love. But **** happens and I hurt her once too many times. Also the fact I sometimes still think about her and still love her might have some thing to do with it.
lindya Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Nothin wrong with sending a card - as long as you don't pin too much hope on anything coming of it. It's a nice gesture. I'd give the flowers and present a miss, though.
billybadass36 Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 I was with my fiancee for 8 months when her ex-bf sent her a B-Day card. It pissed me off because the only reason someone sends an ex-gf a B-Day is to let them know "Hey, I'm here in case it doesn't work out with your current bf." It's rude. Now that I think about it, I should've drove over to this guy's house and dotted his eye for him.
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Well considering this guy pretended to by my friend when I was together with my ex-gf and the whole time was hitting on to her. I don't think sending her a card is unfair on him, do you ?
outdated Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Conroy Well considering this guy pretended to by my friend when I was together with my ex-gf and the whole time was hitting on to her. I don't think sending her a card is unfair on him, do you ? Nope. Screw him. He wasn't afraid to screw you or her .
Jadey Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 If you love her, i would. Just keep it quite simple, nothing too serious, but let her know that youre thinking of her. Good luck.. Jade
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Outdated - (well at least I can laugh about it now) Jadey - yeah I still love her very much. It annoys me alittle when people say your sad because I still love my ex-girlfriend and I should move on. Well I did move on, I've been with two other girls since then. But yet being with two other people and after all this time I can still say I have feelings for her so this must mean some thing. We split up because I turned in to an idiot and didn't give her much choice really. I know she was very indecisive about splitting with me at the time. But I'm not going to expect any thing back from this or get my hopes up. As long as she knows I'm thinking about her then thats what matters.
Jadey Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by Conroy Outdated - (well at least I can laugh about it now) Jadey - yeah I still love her very much. It annoys me alittle when people say your sad because I still love my ex-girlfriend and I should move on. Well I did move on, I've been with two other girls since then. But yet being with two other people and after all this time I can still say I have feelings for her so this must mean some thing. We split up because I turned in to an idiot and didn't give her much choice really. I know she was very indecisive about splitting with me at the time. But I'm not going to expect any thing back from this or get my hopes up. As long as she knows I'm thinking about her then thats what matters. Word. It annoys me too. Ive only been split up with my ex 6 weeks and already i "should have moved on and forgot about him" I think thats just soemthing people say cos of lack of knowing wot else to say! Or they are just ignorant and dont know wot its like to be in love. Do wot you feel you need to do, thats all everyone should do at the end of the day. You could get all the good advice in the world but at the end of the day youve got to do it your way Just dont go in too strong..
SexKitten Posted May 16, 2005 Posted May 16, 2005 Originally posted by billybadass36 Now that I think about it, I should've drove over to this guy's house and dotted his eye for him. :lmao:
Author Conroy Posted May 16, 2005 Author Posted May 16, 2005 Jadey - I hear what your saying, you hit the nail on the head there. If you don't follow your heart then your not being true to yourself and may end up thinking what if for the rest of your life. As long as your not pushy and constantly hassling that person. Sending a birthday card like one day of the year just to say you still care, wheres the harm in that ?
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