Necris Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 This may seem like an odd question but I've always wondered the answer. And I'm curious because I wanted to write a story about a fictional relationship but I honestly have no idea how to start. Besides the rescue romance thing which some may see as chauvinistic and unrealistic. Personally despite being a guy in my twenties and a college grad, I myself have never had a romantic relationship and only a handful of dates which also never got past the first one. Though I have had a fair amount of rejection, even girls I personally found unattractive that I talked to would reject me. So I don't really have any experience. Anyway so how do romantic relationships start? What is that "spark" that so-called "chemistry" I hear people talk about? What makes a girl want to be with a guy or even want to go on a date with him? Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 i once dated a guy who was writing a story about a character who was under the influence of weed all the time. so he started smoking weed in order to understand his character better and be able to write authentically. the point... get out there and find a woman, or your story will be really lame. you need first-hand experience for this stuff, not testimonials. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 i once dated a guy who was writing a story about a character who was under the influence of weed all the time. so he started smoking weed in order to understand his character better and be able to write authentically. the point... get out there and find a woman, or your story will be really lame. you need first-hand experience for this stuff, not testimonials. That's....not going to happen though. I have no ability to attract women at all, and no I'm not going after models or anything, been trying for years and not going anywhere. So I wanted to know how does it happen for other people. Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 How about the "Meet Joe Black" story. A cute, chance meeting in the coffee shop, followed by boy getting splattered by a car, followed by him returning as the grim reaper to kill her father. Bang! She's hopelessly smitten. Perfect love story! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Necris Posted September 17, 2015 Author Share Posted September 17, 2015 How about the "Meet Joe Black" story. A cute, chance meeting in the coffee shop, followed by boy getting splattered by a car, followed by him returning as the grim reaper to kill her father. Bang! She's hopelessly smitten. Perfect love story! I mean I was wondering like where does this "hopelessly smitten" come from? As in what makes someone feel that way, what does it feel like, and how. Maybe I'm just overthinking this but... What is "chemistry", what is "spark"? What do guys do that make girls love them? Now, I'm actually pretty simple, if a not very attractive (not too unattractive), socially awkward girl talked to me or were receptive to my advances I'd be pretty happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) What do guys do that make girls love them? When you find out, tell me so I can stop doing it Sounds flippant but it's actually a koan of sorts. It's natural and it's subconscious. We don't do anything at all. We just are. The doing flows naturally from being who we are. Doing things may charm a woman but it's being that will make her fall in love. Be authentic. Be who you are. Edited September 17, 2015 by Jj66 Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 This may seem like an odd question but I've always wondered the answer. And I'm curious because I wanted to write a story about a fictional relationship but I honestly have no idea how to start. Besides the rescue romance thing which some may see as chauvinistic and unrealistic. Personally despite being a guy in my twenties and a college grad, I myself have never had a romantic relationship and only a handful of dates which also never got past the first one. Though I have had a fair amount of rejection, even girls I personally found unattractive that I talked to would reject me. So I don't really have any experience. Anyway so how do romantic relationships start? What is that "spark" that so-called "chemistry" I hear people talk about? What makes a girl want to be with a guy or even want to go on a date with him? Tried online dating yet? Just sweet talk girls that you find interesting, ask for their number and set up dates, see where things go.. Trial and error and you'll soon find out Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 There is NO 'how do relationships start?' because the genuine answer is 'all differently'. Some people begin by one person irritating the other, then they grow on them. Others start by two people trying to go through the same door in opposite directions. Another scenario is someone visiting the Campsite you're currently managing, and actually never leaving your life again (yup. That would be MY scenario....) Yet again, a partner is proving unworthy, untruthful and inconstant, and a chance meeting over the salad bar at a supermarket, with a discussion about the freshness of spring onions, might do it (Yup that would be MY scenario too....) In truth, there are as many ways of starting a relationship, as there are people who start them. Some even have relationships arranged FOR them, and end up in a long-term, happy marriage (my old Hindu neighbours....) How will your relationship start? Well, keep us posted, but there's one absolute, fail-safe guarantee: If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never have someone in your heart. And your life will be one long comic tragedy..... not a story you'd want to tell.... Link to post Share on other sites
milwaukeeguy53214 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 (edited) There is no formula for starting a relationship. it just happens. Sometimes it happens quickly others over a period of time. Mine literally took days. We have been together for three months. But I can tell you I have never loved so deeply, so intensely in my life and I'm 47. It has been such a whirlwind, still is. By far the most passionate as well. Edited September 17, 2015 by milwaukeeguy53214 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 There is no formula for starting a relationship. it just happens. Sometimes it happens quickly others over a period of time. Mine literally took days. We have been together for three months. But I can tell you I have never loved so deeply, so intensely in my life and I'm 47. It has been such a whirlwind, still is. By far the most passionate as well. Well typically the guy is expected to make it happen and why so many of us guys don't know how to make it happen, is beyond me. Link to post Share on other sites
LilaMarie Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Anyway so how do romantic relationships start? What is that "spark" that so-called "chemistry" I hear people talk about? What makes a girl want to be with a guy or even want to go on a date with him? The last relationship I was in started like this - he was my brother's best friend and he'd heard about me and when my brother got drunk, he was able to get my phone number. My brother thought I wouldn't respond to his friend. His friend had tried for years to get my number. Eventually we met up. I didn't find him attractive (bragger with a fauxhawk and deep V-neck shirts)....over time I fell for him but I realized he was never real. I'm pretty sure he read those stupid PUA books. That spark, well that's when you see them as more than friends, when that person makes you nervous. The last question...as long as the guy is nice and sweet, I give almost everyone a chance. Even those I don't find attractive initially. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 LTR #1: Introduced to him by a guy I was currently dating who "didn't like the fact that I couldn't get serious and settle down" with him, so he thought he'd pawn me off to a buddy, so I could see what I was missing. I married said 'buddy'. How it started: Revenge. LTR #2: 1st date was a reunion with all of his friends from school; as such a *big deal*, I asked him how he wanted me to act. He said, "Like you're in love." I did. He did, too. We fell in love by accident by pretending to already be in it. How it started: Acted 'As If' and 'It Did' LTR #3: He was a friend of a friend and I met him at a mutual get-together. How it started: Mutual friends, mutual interests LTR #4: Met him through work, as kind of an extended-client (not REALLY a client...that's frowned upon in my field). How it started: Workplace Each of my LTRs have absolutely nothing in common as to how they started, other than MY openness to the possibility of a relationship and my ability to show up when they presented themselves as relationship-worthy material. Best of luck to you, OP... Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Don't think the OP is asking how to meet people. He's asking what actually morphs the meeting into a relationship. What causes those gears to shift, so to speak. For me personally, I don't get involved with someone unless I see a relationship on the cards. I have had a friend with benefits once and it wasn't fun or fulfilling at all. Also, things happen differently for men than they do women. Very differently. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 What are the fictional characters' backgrounds and demographics (age, culture, location, etc)? Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 People always say they happen when you least expect it but I'm sure there are ways people stack the odds in their favor that makes them not go through long periods of being single Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts