The talk... or some kind of talk

[edgygirl]

I’ve been going on dates sporadically with a guy in his late 40s. He seems comfy having 2-4 dates per month. I told him we should talk about us as I don’t really get the nature of us spending time together.

 

I am looking for a real partner, not someone to spend a few dates per month with.

 

But it’s not like I want commitment or so, we don’t spend much time together, so I am not sure what I really want from him as I don’t feel I know him well enough.

 

We are meeting tomorrow and I guess we are going to have some kind of "talk", but I am not sure how to go about it. What do you tell someone who is not making the effort to see you often but is still there, consistently planning dates from time to time? I don’t really get this and how to go about it. Any ideas?

Edited September 16, 2015 by edgygirl

[Grumpybutfun]

From the point of view from someone who dated a great deal, I can honestly say if he isn't wanting to spend every moment with you early on...he just isn't that into you. If you want a companion to eat with or see a movie, this is your guy. If you want someone who is into you and wants to share his life with you, he just doesn't seem very invested. Though, from the way you describe this situation, neither do you. Lukewarm is mediocre to me...I wanted more.

JMHO,

Grumpy

[edgygirl]

Thanks Grumpy. I do like him but I guess it's hard for me to get excited about a guy who doesn't seem to know how to pursue a woman with more passion.

 

Maybe that's why he's still single at this age. His upbringing was difficult, his mom divorced and never let his dad near him again. I think it made him a little clueless and weird re: relationships and I can read between the lines that he has unresolved issues emotionally speaking.

 

He's kind, caring, consistent (even in his inconsistency), professional, established, cute... I don't know, dating is so crappy these days that it's hard to let go of someone who seems like a decent human being with potential.