Contacted Ex who left me - Do i have a chance suggestions needed

September 16, 2015

My ex left me about 2 months ago for her ex. We had a very messy breakup i went no contact for about 3 weeks. She emailed me a lovely message about 8 days ago. i replied days later.

After that reply I emailed her yesterday, wishing her well and telling her i still care for her. to my surprise she replied back in an instant. With a very long essay of how she missed me. I have a tracker on my emails, so i can see how many times she opened my email it totalled 7 times bare in mind i only sent one email at that time. My theory is she kept clicking it to see if i replied. i replied a few hours later. We both started to reminisce on old times, she stated she missed the sex and the little things we did and it ended with her telling me she will always love me. i kept my messages quite short and not needy her ones was very long and she replied straight away. Towards the night i saw she views the email about 14 times.

Now i still know she with her ex.

I dont want her back, after the exchange i did feel a sense of closure. And a huge ego boost, it feels like she regrets her decision. I was happy the whole day yesterday. Today I feel abit like ****, just a bit down.

I am under no illusion that she wants me back. My thoughts are if she wanted me back she would of made it clear.

Whats your thoughts people, do you think later on down she will come back. Can someone anaslyse this behaviour. thanks

Edited September 16, 2015 by MINDSHIFT

September 16, 2015

Who knows if she will come back! I have no idea honestly...no one can tell if she will!! But don't want or plan on it!

September 16, 2015

My ex left me about 2 months ago for her ex. We had a very messy breakup i went no contact for about 3 weeks. She emailed me a lovely message about 8 days ago. i replied days later.

After that reply I emailed her yesterday, wishing her well and telling her i still care for her. to my surprise she replied back in an instant. With a very long essay of how she missed me. I have a tracker on my emails, so i can see how many times she opened my email it totalled 7 times bare in mind i only sent one email at that time. My theory is she kept clicking it to see if i replied. i replied a few hours later. We both started to reminisce on old times, she stated she missed the sex and the little things we did and it ended with her telling me she will always love me. i kept my messages quite short and not needy her ones was very long and she replied straight away. Towards the night i saw she views the email about 14 times.

Now i still know she with her ex.

I dont want her back, after the exchange i did feel a sense of closure. And a huge ego boost, it feels like she regrets her decision. I was happy the whole day yesterday. Today I feel abit like ****, just a bit down.

I am under no illusion that she wants me back. My thoughts are if she wanted me back she would of made it clear.

Whats your thoughts people, do you think later on down she will come back. Can someone anaslyse this behaviour. thanks

I think she really did like you, but then you got predicatable and your shine started to wear off. So she went back to her ex, because she liked him too, before his shine started to wear off, and he seemed shinier in her imagination.

So she starts banging him for a while, her memory comes back, and she begins to remember he's not so shiny after all. But now it's you who is shinier in her imagination now, so she's just taking your temperature, feeling it out. She may very well head back your way after she figures out again why guy #1 was an ex, or when he figures out why she was an ex. One way or the other, they'll probably be exes again.

Who knows if she'll come back to you or not? What we do know is that whether she does or does not, you'll end up being exes for most of your life.

Do you have a chance? One chance, actually. Don't let that happen to you. Turn from her, and don't look back. Life is meant to be lived looking forward to better things, not looking over your shoulder for what has already been.

September 17, 2015

Perfect because youre doing almost everything right. Dont get emotionally invested anymore because now youre probably at a state where youre a bit healed, dont go back to being heartbroken again (if you were before).

You not being needy, not replying instantly (actually taking days sometimes) and keeping it light, fun and short is making you mysterious in her eyes. It just makes her attraction go up. It shows youre cool and good without her in your life. The moment you start blowing up her phone or email inbox, is the moment she'll gain the upper hand. Youre in a position where you seem content and can easily walk away from her and thats the best position there is.

The only thing that worries me is that you didnt wait for her to send another email but you replied and then sent another email. Dont do that. That can screw everything up. Let her do most of the talking.

What I would do in your case: if she talks about the sex she misses etc, just ask her out and have sex (if youre oke with that). Its very obvious from the fact that she said that, that shes open for sex. Go hook up if you can keep your feelings out of it.

If you want more than that, just tell her that you like her (dont tell her you love her) but say that you dont want to be just friends, so if she wants to be with you tell her she should be with you. Dont get emotional, be direct, act like a man and tell her what you want and if shes not fine with that, just say cool and walk away completely.. Youll do everything right.

My best bet is that the ex is the one acting needy or unworthy, and therefore she misses you. Maybe he is blowing up her phone the entire time, maybe she lost her feelings for him, whatever it is: hes doing things bad and you are doing almost everything right.

So again: If you want sex, ask her out in a fun light way. Id say when she contacts you in a loving and sweet matter (and says things like I miss you and our sex) just say: Ooh Hi you, nice to hear from you. Youre making a nice steak this weekend and invite her over to have dinner. Tell her youre busy in the next few nights (even if youre not) and set a date to meet you in the evening at your place (for the dinner).. If she says no, just say oke, stay cool and never bring it up again. Dont get emotional, stay cool and act like a man who is confident and doesnt need her. She did reach out first to you, let her do most of the reaching out and see what you want. But if it was an ex of mine reaching out that way (telling she misses the sex) she gave me enough signs that I would invite her over..

If you dont want to risk the way you are feeling now, dont contact her anymore.. But I think if you keep doing what you are doing now (if she doesnt send an email for even weeks, dont be the first to respond, obviously things are going bad with the ex. just keep your cool and wait, be more patient), you have a good chance of hooking up, getting back together or whatever.. The question remains if you should want to get back together after she leaving you for her ex.. But if its just sex youre after.. Go for it.

September 17, 2015

u see how u broke NO CONTACT and now you feel like ****

move on buddy

that chapter in your life was great, it ended horribly for you, but all good things come to an end

find the next good thing in your life, why would you want someone back who threw u out as garbage

stop stalking her, delete all the emails, delete everything

they say NO CONTACT after 90 days they generally come back, but hopefully by then youll have someone better and the loss will be hers

September 17, 2015

u see how u broke NO CONTACT and now you feel like ****

move on buddy

that chapter in your life was great, it ended horribly for you, but all good things come to an end

find the next good thing in your life, why would you want someone back who threw u out as garbage

stop stalking her, delete all the emails, delete everything

they say NO CONTACT after 90 days they generally come back, but hopefully by then youll have someone better and the loss will be hers

Dude, I love your posts. Raw, motivational truth. Not a lot of punctuation. Just the facts.

Keep em coming.

September 17, 2015

Dude, I love your posts. Raw, motivational truth. Not a lot of punctuation. Just the facts.

Keep em coming.

yeah im a bit fed up with how us men become sultry and soft, whilst women feed off our nice green lawn until theres no grass left, then they jump into the next yard, leaving us scorned & broken

a poster on here mentioned that women are just a page in our book, not the whole book, and our own empire is more important, not hers

but girls can visit sure, just tired of giving my keys away to them

September 17, 2015

If you dont want to risk the way you are feeling now, dont contact her anymore.. But I think if you keep doing what you are doing now (if she doesnt send an email for even weeks, dont be the first to respond, obviously things are going bad with the ex. just keep your cool and wait, be more patient), you have a good chance of hooking up, getting back together or whatever.. The question remains if you should want to get back together after she leaving you for her ex.. But if its just sex youre after.. Go for it.

Great reply people. Im sad because im soo confused, this was my first break up first love blah blah. Ive got alot pride and the fact she threw me out for her ex hurts. I couldnt really respect myself going back.

The breakup was so messy and dramatic if you read my first post. Ive gone through hell, depression, drinking, cocaine its been a nightmare. I never knew a breakup could have this affect on me.

I though initially the first email 8 days ago was a breadcrumb and just her feeling guilty, i replied short and polite. But these emails she reminiscing about past fun we had.

I keep googling why do ex's reminisce about the past? lol

I dont really want anything to do with her, especially as i know she still with her ex. They always had them stupid makeup break up relationships. I suspect she either relising her mistake or having a bad time with her boyfriend. I really dont want to llo a fool. But i do enjoy the fact she regrets her decision. Its sad to say but it boost my confidence/ego. which was heavily bruised when she left me for an ex.

September 17, 2015

yeah im a bit fed up with how us men become sultry and soft, whilst women feed off our nice green lawn until theres no grass left, then they jump into the next yard, leaving us scorned & broken

a poster on here mentioned that women are just a page in our book, not the whole book, and our own empire is more important, not hers

but girls can visit sure, just tired of giving my keys away to them

I feel ya. I think in general, modern American men are a bunch of p*ssies. I used to be one, maybe, but I'm committed to toughening up. We give women way too much power and allow them to walk all over us. I'm determined to live the rest of my life not caring so much about what women do or do not think of me.

September 17, 2015

In a way contacting her has made me get closer to the indifference stage.

September 17, 2015

I feel ya. I think in general, modern American men are a bunch of p*ssies. I used to be one, maybe, but I'm committed to toughening up. We give women way too much power and allow them to walk all over us. I'm determined to live the rest of my life not caring so much about what women do or do not think of me.

Im from the UK thank you very much. I do believe im being slightly weak to allow someone to affect me like that. To control how i feel about my self. It the time in my life I believe, Im going through alot and to of had someone there, shoulders the burden

September 17, 2015

I wasn't talking about you OP. There you go, being sensitive.

September 17, 2015

Yeah mould your life right now to create the notion that that person is somebody youve never known and is just a random stranger like the million other girls out there

delete everything block everything throw everything out, deny any contact avenues from her, absolutely cut any wires that connect you to that individual and stand free

do it immediately

its a tough move but once your there and you realize "wow there is absolutely now way i can contact or she can contact me" a massive freedom & relief hits hits you and then you just have to endure NO CONTACT and youll heal rapidly

but also put energy into into other women & stick to this forum helping others

September 17, 2015

yeah im a bit fed up with how us men become sultry and soft, whilst women feed off our nice green lawn until theres no grass left, then they jump into the next yard, leaving us scorned & broken

a poster on here mentioned that women are just a page in our book, not the whole book, and our own empire is more important, not hers

but girls can visit sure, just tired of giving my keys away to them

And you Mr "Just want get her out my head", that is the thread you started a week ago. Hows thats going for you???

Dont be so critical, yes its a weak moment i having. I just wanted an explanation of her behaviour. I dont want her back just understanding from other people.

September 17, 2015

Yeah mould your life right now to create the notion that that person is somebody youve never known and is just a random stranger like the million other girls out there

delete everything block everything throw everything out, deny any contact avenues from her, absolutely cut any wires that connect you to that individual and stand free

do it immediately

its a tough move but once your there and you realize "wow there is absolutely now way i can contact or she can contact me" a massive freedom & relief hits hits you and then you just have to endure NO CONTACT and youll heal rapidly

but also put energy into into other women & stick to this forum helping others

I have had no contact with her, it helped alot. Unfortunately i did not stick to it strictly i.e. stalking her social media. But the funniest thing contacting her has helped me to move on slightly, it wasn't a set back. Yes im down today but no where near how i was a week ago. to know that she stills cares about me and still thinks about me every day (her words) helped.

September 17, 2015

And you Mr "Just want get her out my head", that is the thread you started a week ago. Hows thats going for you???

Dont be so critical, yes its a weak moment i having. I just wanted an explanation of her behaviour. I dont want her back just understanding from other people.

im going great now, at that point it was tough and people helped me to get to a better place

she is a stranger now, sure she still exists in thoughts, but absolutely no where else is there evidence of her, and i aint sending her 2 page emails whilst she's out there sucking on other boys peckers

dont hang yourself on the past mate, strength to all men

September 17, 2015

I feel on the opposite end of the spectrum. I have been mistreated by men especially when it comes to my heart. I feel both sexes are guilty of allowing others to hurt them beyond repair.

My opinion is that you are best to leave the past in your past. There is a very good reason you broke up, don't forget it!

September 17, 2015

im going great now, at that point it was tough and people helped me to get to a better place

she is a stranger now, sure she still exists in thoughts, but absolutely no where else is there evidence of her, and i aint sending her 2 page emails whilst she's out there sucking on other boys peckers

dont hang yourself on the past mate, strength to all men

Bull****ttt. She anit a stranger your hurting and you can tell from your passive aggressive sarcasm. Either advise on the topic at hand or skip this thread.

September 17, 2015

Bull****ttt. She anit a stranger your hurting and you can tell from your passive aggressive sarcasm. Either advise on the topic at hand or skip this thread.

youre right. im doing my very best to make her a stranger just like the rest of my ex girlfriends are. its the only way forward to finding someone better

youre the king mate, not her, a king rules the jungle and women come to him, he doesnt sit & prey & beg that his once beauty will return, full of dirty dreads from the guys she left you for

September 17, 2015

youre right. im doing my very best to make her a stranger just like the rest of my ex girlfriends are. its the only way forward to finding someone better

youre the king mate, not her, a king rules the jungle and women come to him, he doesnt sit & prey & beg that his once beauty will return, full of dirty dreads from the guys she left you for

This is not the wild. You are bitter. A result of previous failed relationships. You may not beg but you have certainly been affected.

September 17, 2015

of course. breaking away from a special bond u had with someone is seriously difficult and for her too.

im angry it doesnt exist anymore but its gone now for good

i cant wait to hav somebody new, cant you?

if u had have met somebody already would u really had belittled yourself to contact her again after all this time? and youve only rebirthed that **** feeling in you

maybe u was just enquiring if she was single again

lets forget the previous and entertain the next

September 17, 2015

I feel ya. I think in general, modern American men are a bunch of p*ssies. I used to be one, maybe, but I'm committed to toughening up. We give women way too much power and allow them to walk all over us. I'm determined to live the rest of my life not caring so much about what women do or do not think of me.

This is so true. After reading so many threads and also going through my personal experiences in life and those friends around me, I'm pretty convinced that men take a breakup much muchhhh harder than women. I also feel as though more females break off a relationship than men. I know I have no actual statistic to go by. It's just generalizing, but I've just seen it way too much all around me. I fee like females are like cats, and men are like dogs. When and if we lie, we get caught red handed, while women do a much better job of hiding lies and moving the F on. Sorry, I know I may offend a few females here and I don't mean to, it's just a prisoner of the moment feeling I'm at right now lol... Ughhh =./

September 17, 2015

yes men are just utilities to women, when they get rid of one they just go to the hardware store and get another one

its only when he dumps her off first that her poor heart is broken and she is so torn blah blah

most girls would dump any guy off if she has found another guy whos grass is greener. unless she has kids with him, then shes and honest woman, for the kids sake

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