cookiemonster26 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 The other day my friends were asking me if I ever wanted kids and I said I wasn't sure if I wanted kids because I want to travel. They told me that "I was being silly because everyone will want to start a family one day" then they told me how important it is to find someone because "you will need a companion when you're older and there is no point in being sucessful if you have no one to Share it with" they are both in serious relationships and I'm single. This just made me feel super bad about being single and I'm really scared about being forever alone and they know that so why would they say these things just made me feel even more bad
ExpatInItaly Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 You don't deal with "friends" like this. You find new friends. 3
losangelena Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 OK, I'll bite. How old are your friends and how old are you? You tell them that not everyone wants to have kids; that sometimes spouses die long before you get to old age; and that you can be successful all on your own. If YOU are content being single, or being unattached for now, tell them to shove it. They're not living your life and can't make your decisions for you. Ask what made them so narrow minded.
Siquijor Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Perhaps they're jealous of your freedom. Take life at your own pace and if travelling is what you want to do then go for it regardless of what these so called friends say.
smackie9 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 tell them to bite the pipe. Life can be enjoyed in many different ways and that being married with kids is not the end all be all.
sportygirl89 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I tend to hang out with my single friends a lot. Makes that not an issue. I stay away from the friends desperately search for boyfriends or girlfriends. I am happy being single! I was sick for a while so I feel no pressure to find the one. Not yet, have to make up time that I didn't get for an entire year. Your friends should be happy you are okay being single. Find new ones if they continue this way!
TaraMaiden2 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 The other day my friends were asking me if I ever wanted kids and I said I wasn't sure if I wanted kids because I want to travel. They told me that "I was being silly because everyone will want to start a family one day" You should be very much aware by now, frequenting this forum as you do, that this is far from true. Don't you? then they told me how important it is to find someone because "you will need a companion when you're older and there is no point in being sucessful if you have no one to Share it with" What, so they can have a piece of the action, and you have to divide, share and go halves? Why, exactly? they are both in serious relationships and I'm single. This just made me feel super bad about being single and I'm really scared about being forever alone and they know that so why would they say these things just made me feel even more bad Because in all probability (as has been pointed out) there is a subliminal jealousy and resentment, and because actually, they feel that they could have done better and lived more, being independent, single and care-free... How to deal with friends who make you feel bad about being single...? Make them feel bad about being married. Everything they do has to be run past, and often agreed, by someone else. They no longer have the freedom to do what they want, when they want. Kids are expensive; one child costs up to $400,000 (£300,000) by the time they reach their 18th birthday. They are occupied 24/7 with the care and upkeep of their children, who must come first. They become secondary to themselves and their partners. Holidays, 'me time' and the freedom to do everything you can, is gone. Your money - is your money. After bills are paid, and you've cleared your responsibilities, you can do whatever you want with what is left over - however much that might be. They have to constantly budget, watch expenditure and pay first for everything their kids need, before considering any personal treats. To be honest there are pros and cons to both situations. But to try to convince you that by being married, they are better off - and better placed - than you - is both grossly unfair, and greatly untrue.
DiimpleDoll Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Good friends, 'true friends', support your life choices you choose and encourage your happiness. They don't push their beliefs on you. The SUPPORT you! They sound close minded and not people who have your best interests at heart. Toxic is maybe a good word? Follow your heart and don't let people who aren't happy in their life influence choices your heart desires!
Redhead14 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 The other day my friends were asking me if I ever wanted kids and I said I wasn't sure if I wanted kids because I want to travel. They told me that "I was being silly because everyone will want to start a family one day" then they told me how important it is to find someone because "you will need a companion when you're older and there is no point in being sucessful if you have no one to Share it with" they are both in serious relationships and I'm single. This just made me feel super bad about being single and I'm really scared about being forever alone and they know that so why would they say these things just made me feel even more bad How old are you cookie? I suspect pretty young. There is no rush to have a relationship. You should pursue your interests and do things that make you happy and things you want to do before you marry or become involved with someone. These things will make you a more rounded person, content with yourself and confident, "worldly" This will help make you a better partner for someone someday. There is nothing wrong with being single if you are happy and content in yourself. People who feel that they need to be in a relationship to be happy, don't feel complete with themselves. They need external validation, etc. Don't let them make you feel bad. Your self-esteem isn't based on whether or not you are in a relationship nor should it be affected by friends who are imposing their views and attitudes on you. You tell them, that you have plans and goals for yourself that you want to meet and a relationship will happen in due time when the right person comes along.
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