leximc279 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 I help out my brother and pick up his kids at their after-school program a few days every week. There is a guy there who I find really cute, the kids really like him, etc, and according to my niece he graduated college, which means he should be roughly my age. The problem is...I have no idea what to do about my attraction to him. I see him briefly when I pick up the kids; he's usually one of the ones outside with the large group of kids playing out there. I'm pretty sure it's been cleared up that I am not their mom, because the other day my niece very loudly yelled "my aunt is here" to her friend, and he reacted to that. I am able to make some small talk if the kids are slow about leaving, but it doesn't really go beyond talking about them. Is there a way that I can show him that I'm interested? I'm bad about this in general, but I feel it's even harder because I only see him when there's a bunch of kids around that he's responsible for watching over.
BlueBlood Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Well since it doesn't sound like the time or place for sussing his whole life and relationship status out why not invite him to a group thing? "Hey some friends and I are all meeting up Friday at this wine bar/party/show/festival/whatever, wanna come along? Should be fun." And see what he says. 2
Author leximc279 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 Well since it doesn't sound like the time or place for sussing his whole life and relationship status out why not invite him to a group thing? "Hey some friends and I are all meeting up Friday at this wine bar/party/show/festival/whatever, wanna come along? Should be fun." And see what he says. That's a good idea. The only problem is...I've just relocated here, and don't really know anyone yet, aside from my brother. I have one friend I went to high school with who lives nearby, but that's it.
scooby-philly Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Um.....just do it. Lol - seriously I have no problem with woman taking some initial advances on their own - I can't read minds.....much to women's chagrin. That said, just wait for the opportunity (don't wait too long cause you don't know what's going on in his life) to chat him up. If the kids are late...or are in the middle of a game...take it as an opportunity to talk to him. Heck, - if you are new to town...ask him what to do, where to go...etc. - If he's single and interested (and has a brain...lol - sorry not really meant to be harsh) he'll get the hint - if he isn't that tuned in - just ask him to show you around....say "my brother's always busy with the kids". You never know
Maggie4 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Tell your niece to go ask him if he has a girlfriend. And tell her not to say "my aunt wants to know if you..." :-)
jen1447 Posted September 16, 2015 Posted September 16, 2015 Next time you see him, walk right up to him, smile, face him squarely, hold eye contact, and ask him if he's seeing anyone. If he's not, say you'd like to go out w/him (dinner, drinks, whatevs). If he is, say "ok. I wanted to ask you out but I wasn't sure if you were available." Then keep smiling and make small talk til it's time to go. Srsly. Confidence is really attractive and it'll make u feel SO much better. 3
Author leximc279 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 Tell your niece to go ask him if he has a girlfriend. And tell her not to say "my aunt wants to know if you..." :-) Haha, she's the WORST about that. She totally would spill the beans. I can get information about him pretty easily, though....if I ask a question about everyone who works there, she always talks about him. Maybe I'll see if she knows about that on the way home. She goes to summer camp with the same program, so she knows him pretty well by now.
Author leximc279 Posted September 16, 2015 Author Posted September 16, 2015 Well, I didn't see him today. My niece said that he was inside helping out another teacher and that's why he wasn't out with them. Over the weekend, she was pestering me about giving her more cousins to play with (I'm the youngest of my sibs and the only one without kids), and she's now gotten the idea in her head that since we're the same age, he could be a candidate for her matchmaking. We'll see if she does anything about that, ha. In any case, I'm thinking of asking him to go to a free concert in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping I get to see and talk to him a couple more times beforehand and establish more of a friendly relationship with him, but, we'll see.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Nice to hear of a girl willing to go against tradition
Jj66 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 Nice to hear of a girl willing to go against tradition I don't think there is another option here. She needs to ask him out. 2
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 17, 2015 Posted September 17, 2015 I don't think there is another option here. She needs to ask him out. agreed but we all know most women are very stubborn when it comes to this, even if they have a strong crush on a guy, they would rather miss out on being with him than approach and talk to him first, or ask him out first.
Author leximc279 Posted September 17, 2015 Author Posted September 17, 2015 agreed but we all know most women are very stubborn when it comes to this, even if they have a strong crush on a guy, they would rather miss out on being with him than approach and talk to him first, or ask him out first. Don't get me wrong, I totally wish he would make a move first, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. That being said, I haven't seen him all week and that bums me out. I don't pick up the kids again until next week.
Maggie4 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Usually a woman just loiters around to get him to notice her, and sends him the signals to ask her out. You know, seduction. But in the OP's case, she can't, cos they're surrounded by pesky kids and his eyes are on them! This calls for drastic measures.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Don't get me wrong, I totally wish he would make a move first, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. That being said, I haven't seen him all week and that bums me out. I don't pick up the kids again until next week. Sometimes guys wish the same thing but unfortunately it seems to be instinct for a woman to be passive around a man even if she is attracted to him
filani Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 Don't get me wrong, I totally wish he would make a move first, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. That being said, I haven't seen him all week and that bums me out. I don't pick up the kids again until next week. @ lllexim Translation...I want this guy to take the risk because i'm scared of rejection. Jen1447 hit the nail on the head with her post , cut the bull$hit and just ask him already. Us guys do find confidence sexy and if you don't do it then simply tell yourself the simple truth that I already mentioned above. Stop hiding behind your gender or tradition and just WOMAN UP! 1
newmoon Posted September 18, 2015 Posted September 18, 2015 sidle right up to him and say "so many kids around here today, do you and your wife have any brats of your own?" just get it done, don't be a weenie. geesh, it's just a man who puts his undies on the same way all other men do. nothing making him special but you.
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