with breakup and hurt

[Beckyc]

Ok I will keep it short, I am a single mum 46 was seeing a guy 56 for 7 months he chased me in the beginning so I agreed to go out with him he was very keen and we were intimate on our third date but it was never discussed about as being together as I couple. We continued to see each other and it was him who always said when can I see you next still keen there was a few things that came up in that 7 months that hurt me and it not add up. But did not say anything as my mum had died 2 months in to us getting together. We went away and I also stayed at his house and he at mine he met my daughter. He did not give away much about himself as he said he was a private person he did tell me that he cheated on his wife and had been separated for 4 years and getting a divorce. Well After being way for a weekend he was meant to stay at mine the following Friday he rung on the Thursday and said is it ok if I won't see you as I have had a call from my wife that had made him upset I said it was a bit of a worry that his wife had that effort on him so much that he could not see me he got upset by what I had Said. Then the following Friday he ended it saying that there was something missing I have tried to sort things out to find out why he will not give me a straight answer I have asked him whether we can sort this out and we can I future he said Maybe not he cares for me but not sure if we have a future I Saadi it's not far to keep me hanging to which he replied that he would not except me to hang on for him but still not sure we had a future !! I keep texting him to try and get closure on this but he still does not give me a yes or no I told him that I was deleting his number to move on he said if that's want you feel you must do. I am going crazy and have not stopped crying about this the hard thing is we work together I am finding it hard to cope I have heard about no contact and asked him if this is the way we should go have a months no contact and see what happens. Has anyone got any ideas would appreciate your input feeling insecure and needy and I think he is playing on this HELP

[pidgeon1010]

It doesn't sound like he is ready to commit to you and may still have feelings for his wife. He has told you something is missing- respect that and move on. Is he telling you the real reason? Maybe, maybe not. You will never know and badgering him for answers is only going to push him further away.

 

You don't ask someone whether you should go No contact. You go no contact for your sanity and healing. It's difficult but do you really have any other option? Being emotional is not attractive and a turn off.

[Beckyc]

I made the decision and quit my job Friday he mailed me and said that he was really sorry if he was some if the reason I was leaving (I have also been suffering from depression lost my mum to cancer in dec.)and also said he cares for me, today sat is my first day no contact I find it easier now that I don't have to see him at work I am still checking my e-mails I must stop that!!!!! I did reply to the mail staying "thank you x" nothing more and now it's no contact from here on god why is this so hard I can't beliveve I will never see him again